Keep It or Not?

[herfrds]

I got a call the other day from my mom. She was asking if I had this pin of my grandmothers.
So I went looking through the things she had given me and there was the pin and matching earrings. My mom wants them because they were her grandmothers.

Now my grandma is not dead. She took each of us granddaughters through her jewelry box so we could have what we wanted.

Grandma called me yesterday mad as fire. This is a 90 yo pistol you do not want to tick off.
She remembers giving me the pin and earrings. She was mad because my mom was after them now. I was told not to give them to my mother because I would never see them again and since she is still alive it is her choice. She knows how my mom is.

I know if I do not give them to her I will catch it.
If I do give them to her I will catch it from a different direction.

Any thoughts?

 

[wegotchickens]

Grandama gave them to you and told you to keep them. Don't mess with Grandma!!
Nuff said

 

[SarahFair]

Keep them! It is sort of selfish of your mom to ask for them..
Sure youre mom will be mad but is it really something to STAY mad over?

 

[jwchicklady]

just tell your mom that they were a gift from grandma to you and grandma wants you to keep them. if she has problems with that, just tell her to talk to grandma and leave you out of it. let the 2 of them hash it out and stay out of the middle--refuse to talk about it after the initial conversation--the less said the better.

 

[sfw2]

If your grandma wanted your mother to have the jewelry, she would have given it to her. That said, your grandma gave it to YOU, which means it's yours to do what you please with. Do you ever wear the jewelry? Is it special to you? Would it make you happy for you mom to have it?

You have to your own decision. If it were me, I'd probably hold on to them. But, there again, my mother would NEVER ask me to give her jewelry that my grandmother had given me!

 

[Penturner]

First don't make your decisions based upon what everyone else wants. They are yours to do with as you wish since they where given to you. Nobody not even Mom or Grandma has any voice in "Telling" you what to do with them. Do what you want and let them decide for themselves what to do with that. And don't do it with any guilt. You are not in power to choose how they react, how they feel or what they "Get". By Get I mean get mad, get happy, get their panties in a bunch, whatever it is they get it so don't buy into claims they may make about how you do this or that to them like "You made me mad" "You hurt me" and all that bull. they get hurt, they get mad. If you had the power to "Make" them anything just make them all millionaires and they can go get there own jewelry.

 

[Chicken Boo]

Quote:
Ditto

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Many, many years ago my mother began collecting demitasse spoons. Her mother gave her several. A number of years later my cousing began collecting demitasse spoons, and my grandmother asked my mom to give the ones she had given to my mom to my cousin. My mother was horribly upset; I think she gave my cousin the spoons, but she could not understand how her mother could have asked it of her. She felt sad and angry and betrayed and treated as less important.

My mom gave me an old robe of hers when I was in college. I loved that robe--red wool and very pretty (unlike most robes) a couple of years later she asked for it back, saying she had loaned it (she had not) not given it to me. I was very sad, and a bit angry, but at least she wanted it back for herself (although she never wore it that I saw).

Since the jewelry was never your mom's, keep it, and wear it knowing that your grandmother wants you to have it. sfw2 made a valuable point:

Would it make you happy for you mom to have it?

It doesn't sound like it, from what you have written, to me.​

 

[horsejody]

I would just say, "Mom, Grandma was very adamant that I keep this jewelry and never lend it out. She was very clear that she would be terribly hurt if I loaned it to you. I know that it will hurt you if I don't loan it to you. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. The jewelry means a lot to me because Grandma gave it to me. Why don't you call Grandma so you two can talk this over. I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings, and I don't want to cause a family rift." Then never bring it up again. If your mother brings it up again, repeat step one.

 

[WingingIt]

Quote:
Excellent advice!