First off


How long have you been on the Methotrexate? It takes 3-4 weeks to start seeing results from treatment and months to see optimum improvement from it. I just started treatment and it's like, okay, I'm feeling exhausted but not feeling better. This sux. I keep telling myself to be patient.
I too have that response from people and hear 'but you look great! What's wrong with you anyway?' People can be co cruel. I understand how bad your pain is and only you know how bad you hurt and how much you can tolerate. With pain medicine on board could you go and lounge about, take a stack of books or magazines with you? You wouldn't have to get out and 4 wheel but just getting out is so good for your mental and emotional health. Lounge around outside under a tree with a glass of iced tea and a good book sounds like heaven to me. Bouncing around on a 4 wheeler sounds like Hell. I have a 125cc Honda TTR that I like to ride but I haven't rode it all summer. Hands are too sore.
As for Disney world. Anyway you can wait till closer to the time of the trip before you make your decision to go or not go? You may pop back into remission by the time that the trip rolls around.
Please don't be afraid to take your pain medicine when you need it. As a retired nurse we were taught that pain medicine should be on board before the pain a person is suffering gets too bad for them to endure. You want to take it as your doc has prescribed it. And as for your friends, if they don't understand, they aren't very good friends. I agree with your husband. Don't let them bully you.
But if you could go along just to get out, frequent stops so you can stretch out the kinks, analgesics, pain meds on board, a comfortable pillow or two to pad things out I sure would give that trip a try. Once you get to your destination , you could rest when you had to, participate when you feel like it and most of all, talk to your Rheumy about going. Ask them what they think about you going on trip one and how you could make it more comfortable for yourself.
As for trip #2. From what I am reading I don't think you mind missing that trip as much as you would miss the first. Like I said, talk to your doc and see what they say. Maybe they can offer you some tips or adjust your medicine so you can go along just to get out and be around people.
Most of all, be kind to you. You didn't ask to have this disease befall you. None of us did. You are doing the best you can to deal with it and yes, it will get better. I used to race bikes with a lady with RA. I'd ask her how her RA was doing and she'd shrug and tell me that she went to the doc and got a Methotrexate injection and was good to go. She'd hop on her recumbent bike and proceed to whup my backside in the race. I think about her now and tell myself if she can feel good enough to do that, so can I eventually. Until then, I'm pampering myself, and if folks don't understand that is their problem.