Kids can be so gross! Are yours?

[Javamama]

My kids are pretty good. Of course I'm intentionally blocking most everything from my memory and have mandated that anything else that joins the family must live outside.

I do wonder though, how they got all that toothpaste on the bathroom ceiling.

 

[Bantamlover23]

Quote:
I have a sneaking suspicion I'm going to regret this but... what's a crupper?

A crupper is a item that is mainly used when driving horses and it goes under their tails to prevent slipping. It is also used riding in the mountains to prevent the saddle to prevent the saddle from sliding down the horses neck.

 

[chickaddict]

I love this thread. It allows me to pretend that my disgusting sons are normal.

My single friends used to refer to my home as "free birth control".

 

[geebs]

Bantamluver... A crupper is a piece of rolled leather that goes under a horses tail to hold either a harness in place or a saddle...... Sorry you asked yet???.. ?? She (the girl who earned the name) ran around with it under her nose and kept squealing... It smells like Cookie farts! It smells like Cookie farts!! (Cookie was the horse it belonged to).... and ppl think boys are gross.

 

[Patchesnposies]

After raising six teenagers (blended family) together, and having survived them(!), my husband and I decided once all 6 were grown and out of the house, that, over all, the whole experience was more fun than frustration......so we had a baby boy together and adopted five more little ones, 2 from Vietnam and a sibling set of three right here out of the state of New Mexico's foster system. They are now, 3, 4, 6, 10, 11 and 13.

This has been the most hilarious thread and has brought back lots of memories as I have spent many an evening reading and rereading the posts as more roll in. I have laughed until I cried. I wasn't going to contribute since this thread is saturated (pardon the pun) with mis-fired urine stories, moon monsters and fetid fart funnies.

However, I do believe we have recently experienced the grossest gross out ever and feel compelled to share:

DD, age 4.5, is what we call around our house, "earthy." Not much phases her and she will pretty much eat or mouth anything she finds. She loves nothing better than stripping off all of her clothes and running around the house, leaving what we call little "Butt Kisses" on all of the furniture. (One of my pre-teens is constantly yelling, "Mom! She's wiping Butt Cheese everywhere....AGAIN!") Such a lovely mental picture.

Anyway. One day I noticed an odd smell about her. I couldn't see anything amiss so dismissed it. The smell persisted for days and I narrowed it down to the fact that it seemed to be coming from her fingers. I thought "Okay, maybe she has a UTI or a yeast infection and is scratching her (ahem) girl parts." (sorry if this is TMI, but where do you draw the line in a thread like this, lol)

She told me she wasn't itchy or anything but after a few days I decided I'd just apply some medicine and see if it helped. I laid her down and as I was looking at her little face a spurious but possible thought came to me.

I looked up her teeny tiny nose and thought I saw something hanging at the back.....had my 10 year old DD shine a pen light up there while I quickly grasped the object with a pair of tweezers......lo and behold, I pulled out a HUGE wad of quilt batting that stunk to high heaven with that sickeningly sweet smell of something akin to a dead animal. The thing seemed to never end!

Ohmigosh, I thought I was going to pass out.

Seems that as she lay down one afternoon for a nap she began pulling batting out of her blanket and thought that stashing it up her nose was a good idea.

I am grateful that it wasn't a pea or a bean that could have sprouted.........

 

[junebug7334]

for some sick reason I started reading this thread. I am now nauseated.............

 

[geebs]

Wow... you win... that was

 

[PineappleMama]

Quote:
And if this topic doesn't do it for you...

http://moneywatch.bnet.com/saving-m...f-raising-a-kid-what-the-feds-got-wrong/2334/

“Expenditures on Children by Families, 2009,” it ought to be subtitled: “How to Scare the Bejeezus Out of Any Parent-To-Be.”

Stumbled across this cruising yahoo news... YIKES! Figure $286,000 to reach age 17... not 18, 17. No college costs, graduation gifts, etc etc included. 286,000/17 = $16,823.53 per year... now if only my Sis who was making $7280 in Child Support/NO WORK per year woulda seen this before having her second... and third... *shudder*


Bit off topic... but I find this disturbing, though not so much gross....

 

[dsmoosecountry]

When I was around 5 my little sister was potty training, and the one bathroom we had was ALWAYS occupied when I needed it. So one day my 5 year old logic kicked in and I noticed that the cusions on the couch lift up just like a toilet seat. For a week or so the family dog was getting punished for wetting the couch, until one afternoon. While my sister was using the bathroom, my mom came into the living room and saw me and my little brother (I guess I got him to do it as well) standing there with the couch cusions up and our pants down. Needless to say that was stopped ABRUPTLY!!

Now I have a 3 year old girl, and a 1 year old boy, and I'm somewhat nervously waiting for the payback!

 

[mommyofthree]

OMG, I just read this whole thread and I am laughing so hard!!!

When I was a kid I remember my brother used to poop anywhere and everywhere, except the bathroom. Once he pooped on the floor in the middle of our bedroom, once in his tackle box, and once when my dad was in the bathroom and my brother was actually going to use the toilet, he instead pooped in a dustpan and waited for dad to come out so he could dump the turds in the toilet. And he once peed in a gallon of milk in the middle of the night....

He also hacked a big loogie on my shirt once right by my shoulder, I was traumatized and screamed bloody murder for a looong time. LOL

On to my kids.....my five year old apparently doesn't know how to wipe very well and always has skid marks in her undies, gosh does that gross me out!! And she accidentally burps really loud in mid sentence sometimes. It's gross but kind of funny too...

My three year old picks her nose and wipes boogers on her wall and on her blankets. Once I was putting her to bed and she pointed out a huge booger crusted to the sheet by her head. And once before she was potty trained she pooped in her diaper at night and instead of waking me up and having me change her she decided to clean herself up. She used tissues to try to clean herself which didn't cut it. So she also used one of her blankets, and for some reason she wiped some of the poo into a plastic bowl for her kitchen set. I had no idea what she had done, she got a new diaper and put it on without me even knowing. I found the poopy blankets, tissues and bowl a few days later stuffed under her bed. And also a crusty poop spot on the floor.

Once I was over at a friends house watching her daughter and the little girl had her hands in her pants digging around down there. Then she proceeded to grab some toys to play with my kids with.

MY DH is pretty bad, he passes gas all the time. Even at the dinner table, and when we are around friends and family which I find disgusting. Now my kids think it's funny even though I tell them it's not, and he apparently doesn't seem to understand that he needs to have a little self control and not rip one whenever he wants. Most of the time he farts I don't think he even HAS to, he pushes it out for the fun of it or something. And sometimes in the living room he picks his toenails and throws the pieces on the floor. I feel the urge to vaccuum whenever he leaves a room....