Kids say the darnedest things!

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I have wondered this plenty myself... never could quite figure it out either.
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My daughter when she was 5 was going to a speech teacher and they were playing catch with a rubber ball. But the object of the game went like this:

Teacher: I'm going to throw the ball to you and when you catch it you will name something that lives in the sea and then you will throw it back and I will name something that lives in the sea. And she says, I'll start: turtles

Zoe: whale

teacher: crabs

Zoe: hammer toe shark


....we both busted out laughing.

Thing is Zoe has a hammer toe. oooh so funny.
 
When my kids were little they would ask for
Snapple Pop (rice krispies. snap crackle pop) or
Scrambled bread. (french toast)

My kids each had a rubber dough boy doll. They saw the tv ad....popping fresh fom the oven. I turned on the oven to preheat. Black smoke comes pouring out and the dolls were
black, brown & melted. What a clean up project!

They would tell me they needed to "go potty frontwards"
or "backwards."

When my young son passed gas he told me, "Mommy, I puffed."

My young daughter would ask, "What today is it?"
Or say, "you scared me out of my twitts."
"I won't do that any again."

We would watch birds at the feeder & look up what kind they were. She called to me, "Mom, there is a tufted titmouse without a tit!"

My 3 year old grandson had tomato soup for the first time while visiting me. Halfway through he turns to me & asked,
"Mom mom, did you find any food in yours?"

My daughter cut half her hair off at age four. A friend of mine asked, "What made you do that?"
"Spirits!"

You just gotta love kids. Honest, logical, literal & out spoken. Like my preschooler said to his siblings when they
got home from school, "We didn't have any yoo hoo today."
Then I had to buy more.
 
my 3 year old cousin just went through potty training, we were at a family party and he had just found out that he had a "pee pee" and he proudly anounced to everyone " holy cow i have a pee pee !" really loud, he then turns to our other 3 year old cousin who is a girl and says "do u have a pee pee ( insert name) ?" she shakes her head no , then he crosses his arms wrinkles his forhead and squishes his eyebrows together and says " whats WORNG with you ! " and the little girl slaps him and walks away. it was the funniest thing ever, especially since they have the cutest voice. he was bewildered after the slap. haha
 
When my niece was 4 her goldfish died. Her parents explained to her that it went to heaven. So when her grandparents came to visit she explained to them that her goldfish went to live with her cousin Kevin (my DS).

When a friend of ours was 3 she would love to put on her "flop flips".

My nephew would always ask "Can I pick you up?" instead of "Can you pick me up?"

Those are some of my favorites, but there are so many....
 
It was raining today and my daughter said "MOMMY!!! The sky going pee-pee!!!"

Her new thing is to get a cup of yogurt from the fridge, but she knows she isn't supposed to be in there so she brings two cups, one for her and one for mom, mommy can't be mad if I'm sharing, Right?! She then follows up with a "its fo youuu, it perfect!!!"
 
Fond memories from our past (our daughters are now 22 and 24):
Papa went upstairs for the 3rd time to get our 2 girls to settle down and go to sleep. The 2 year old starting to cry when Papa scolded them, producing a lot of mucous, etc.....Papa said very sternly (and ineffectively I might add): "Young lady, if you don't stop crying you're going to throw up!"
The 4 year old piped up from across the dark room: "Yes, young man - and YOU'LL have to clean it up!"

When I "caught" that same older daughter standing on the bathroom cabinet with my deodorant, she said: "It's ok, Mommy - I'm old enough to have armpits now."

From behind a closed bathroom door, I heard - in a VERY sing-songy way as I passed by - "Don't come in - everything's ok!!!"
(Of course I went in. There was baby powder EVERYWHERE, and she was trying her best to clean it up.)

So many more stories that we cherish, but these are the first to come to mind...
 
Just heard a good story from my mom today....

My sister who is 44 now used to come home from 1st grade with some stories and particularly about this one little girl who not only was something else but her mother was something else as well apparently.

Example: the mother came in with a humidifier one day and started plugging it in and putting it on a chair next to her daughter and the teacher said, "Mrs. So and so...you've already been told you have to check with the principle before you do these sorts of things..."

Another story goes:

So "Sally" comes back from the bathroom one day holding a pair of little girl underpants. And holds them up and tells the teacher "Mrs. Johnson, I found these in the bathroom, what shall I do with them?"

The teacher says, "Sally, you go back to that bathroom and put your underpants back on."

Sally says, "But they aren't mine."

teacher says, "Sally, you know very well those are yours now go back to the bathroom and put those back on."

So Sally goes back to the bathroom and puts the underpants on and comes back holding her own underpants and asks her teacher, "ok, I put them on...but now what should I do with these underpants?"

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