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The cone definitely helps with the struggling. If there's any problems, it's putting them into the cone- obviously going headfirst into a cone is not a natural thing for a chicken! But, after the cut, there usually isn't much flapping at all. Honestly, the BEST way I've found is to give them a fairly solid tap to the head with a small piece of wood. They're instantly unconscious- then they quickly go into the cone, the neck is cut on both sides, and either they don't wake up, or they wake up somewhat "peacefully," look around, and die within seconds. Now, there's never going to be NO movement from them- not only is butchering unavoidably stressful to some level, but there's just some things that happen at death, and that includes a small amount of jerking around.
Again, if you're uncomfortable with killing the birds, I wouldn't go with the slitting method, because it's very personal- slitting the bird's throat was unsettling for me the first few times, and I'm a hunter and a cop who's seen a fair amount of blood.
Anyway, I put the birds in the cone first- otherwise, I don't see much point to using the cone. If it's designed right, the head and neck usually stick out the bottom, giving you a good target. That was part of the problem I was having with using a traffic cone- they would just hold their head back, and I'd have to reach in and keep pulling them down.
The shape holds them tight, and gravity doesn't allow them to move around or flap. I've even used the cones when chopping the heads off. It holds them in place, and after the chop you can just hold the cone upright and they'll drain well. Just don't hit the cone with your hatchet!