Kinda aggravated.....Rant

[chubbydog811]

JustAChickenLittle&More said

Well being the "nice" person that I am, I didnt say a thing. BUT.....my kids all caught chicken pox and we went for a visit. You guessed it! Their house. 6 Weeks of chicken pox.

You are absolutely amazing! This sounds like what the "nice" person in me would do too

 

[Qi Chicken]

To the OP, I think she is taking advantage of you. And being an RN she knows it. I don't think I'd let it slide anymore. I couldn't tell from your post whether or not she pays you, and you probably are pretty attached to the kids by now. You may not want to stop sitting for them althogether but the mom DOES have other options if they are sick. You could make a list of the things they can't have (like pinkeye!) when they come over and if they have any of those things take them back to dad ASAP. Or just say you are taking a break until March (3 months) and then when you start again have some guidlines. Good luck to you, I hope the pinkeye goes away fast. If I remember correctly I think it is only 24 or 48 hrs once you get on the meds. You should be good to go for Christmas!

 

[SparksNV]

I completely agree that you shouldn't babysit anymore unless this issue is resolved.

But....why doesn't the dad watch the children? Something doesn't sound right at home if a mom would rather wake up sick kids to take them to someone else's house to be watched by a good friend than to let them stay home. Maybe, her anger is that she doesn't feel that dad will care for her kids like you will - just sayin'...

ETA: unless dad was sick like the kids with vomitting and diarrhea

Carol

 

[sourland]

"No contract, more like friends." With such thoughtlessness on her part that is a very one sided friendship. Unless you really need the income I would discontinue this service immediately. Sometimes nice guys do finish last.

 

[Scoop]

As for the so-called RN, she has no intelligence or common sense in MHO. And I also have to ask what is wrong with the father? He is a PARENT for crying out loud! Why do people enable others not to be parents? Something definetly isn't right with the whole picture!

 

[Muggsmagee]

I can see your dilemma. If you have been more of a friend, and she trusts you implicitly with her kids, I can see why she has taken advantage...you must be a great sitter and she knows you will CARE for her kids. You need to be a friend to yourself though and stand up to this by simply saying you can no longer care for them when they are sick. Your life has been put on hold repeatedly to recover from the illnesses you contracted from her kids. That is just not fair to you.

And I'm going to jump on the "bad dad" bandwagon and say why in the heck isn't he doing his part? I would be all over him like white on rice. It isn't easy caring for 2 young kids, but they are his kids! And with the gramma stepping in and the wife having X amount of days off...I think he can handle it!

If the income from watching these kids is not a factor to you, my suggestion would be to cut the string. Watch them every once in a while (sounds like you have a bond with the kids), but don't help enable the dad to be a slacker. He needs to step up. SparksNV said it eloquently...

Something doesn't sound right at home if a mom would rather wake up sick kids to take them to someone else's house to be watched by a good friend than to let them stay home.

...with the dad.​

 

[Mattemma]

Sounds like she just has book smarts but no common sense. Why even have a sittter when there is granny and dh at home?

I would NEVER want someone to bring their sick kids to my home unless there was some emergency. Sick kids need to stay at home and be cared for by the parents.Shame on her and the rest of the adults.

Hope you don't get the goo eye. I got it from dd when she was in a preschool(at a daycare),and boy was it annoying.

I would set a rule: No sick kids. I don't know any sitter who does take in ill kids.....unless that is strictly their business(caring for ill children).

 

[MeatKing]

who can blame you for not wanting to babysit these kids anymore... She must feel bad, that the daddy can't watch the kids.

I have however sent my kids to a babysitter (she took only my kids) with "pink eye" When they only had meds in them for 18hrs, not the 24 recommended. I have never caught pink eye from my kids, it is very contagious and we used to get in our house like clock work every two weeks. (Thank-you swimming lesson's) I also sent their own face clothes ect. to babysitter, so she could use it, throw in bag, wash hands and be done with it) She never caught it either. with my babysitter, we had to pay for last min. cancelations, even when my van broke down ect. She resevered the spot for my children, why should she lose out cause my kids are sick, or grandma wants them for the day ect.

i would make her pay for days, you have set aside for her, even if the don't come period.

If they throw up, have diarreha ect. they need to be sent home. Daddy can watch them.

As for sending them all the time when daddy is home, while we go through that every winter here, with the babysitter when their too young for the daycare, now with daycare, since their old enough. If I pulled my kids form sitters/daycare, we will lose our spot. Daddy stays home, kids get dropped of as per usual. We pay for the spot either way, i'm not suppdised. I pay full cost. Why keep the kids home when your are paying for a full spot.. I do keep them home when sick, of course.. Then they have a special day with daddy on couch @ home.

I would say to her, where do you like to be when your sick with the flu? At work, at a friends our at home, on your own tollet... How can you do this to the kids, leave them in their pj @ home with dad. Maybe daddy doesn't want to watch the kids, it's time for her to toughen up!! She could maybe even use you as an excuse. Daddy, you must watch the kids.

Good luck, you don't deserve this. you can buy poliysporn over the counter for pink eye. (here in Canada anyways) Go get it now, go ahead to your families tomorow... Wash your hands, don't rub your eyes. It goes around so bad in daycares cause children have poor hygine, you are an adult, you should be able to control the hygenie factor...

Edited cause my grammer sucks, sorry

 

[turney31]

Thanks so much for all of your responses. Once again I realize there are some very astute and perspective people here.

Dad is as irresponsible as they come. Won't work, drug issues and abusive to Mom. She is on the roller coaster of taking him in and kicking him out. No physical abuse to the children, only what they see when he abuses Mom. We have all talked till we are blue in the face but she has the mind set that any dad is better than no Dad. She has pretty much raised these kids alone and has done well. She just states that she is exhausted and needs help even if its bad help. Lonely at Christmas. I will continue to keep the kids and be there for her. I don't want her to not have a place to go when the fluff hits the fan. Dad has been told.....UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL by my DH if he lays a hand on her again that WE will take care of the problem. Call to law enforcement, press charges and call CPS to have the children removed. He has been told we are not intimidated by him and we PROMISE to follow through with our threats. He believes us.
We mean it. I'll know too cause that 4 year old tells MIMI everything.

I do in fact have pinkeye in both eyes, On meds now and Christmas functions have been rescued! I will remind Mom to let me know ahead of time about contagious illness'.

I have to say how wonderful it is to have BYC friends to bounce issues off of. Thank you all again!

Micah

 

[Sootsie]

Best of luck i really hope she keeps her promise but it sounds like she needs to get out or get him out. You sound like a second mum the constant reliable person in her life who she can rely on hats off to you but you do need to care for yourself and have the choice to say sorry cant do it today.
best wishes i hope she wakes up one day and realises how lucky she is to have you on her side and starts to beleive she deserves better for herself and her children.

And hope you recover quickly so you can enjoy xmas