Ladies! What would you do about the dreaded EX?

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by gritsar, Sep 20, 2008.

  1. gritsar

    gritsar Cows, Chooks & Impys - OH MY!

    Nov 9, 2007
    SW Arkansas
    I don't usually post about personal stuff but this is bugging the tar outta me. Today we went to my SO's eldest daughter's wedding. I was really dreading going because it was the first time I've have to be in a social situation with my SO's ex. I went because I like his DD and to support him.
    So things were fine at the ceremony site. His ex and her sister each made a few smart*** comments, but I ignored them. Kept that smile plastered on my face. [​IMG]
    However, when we got to the restaurant where the reception was held things became strained. The big problem was his ex suddenly couldn't keep her hands off my SO. While we were in the reception area waiting to be seated my SO sat down on a low couch to wait. He was very tired from working the late shift last night. When it was time for him to stand he made a comment about how he needed help to get up (really just joking) and she (the ex) practically pushed me aside to help him. He ignored her offered hand and got up by himself.
    All through the meal she kept finding reasons to come over to where we were seated and would put her hand on his arm or shoulder to talk to him.
    Her sister sat to my left at the table and I ignored her dirty looks. I almost got angry when I was trying to walk behind her chair to exit the room for a minute and even though I said excuse me, can I get by? several times, she refused to move her chair in. The seating was very tight and she had moved her chair forward for several other people. Okay, so her I just blew off and pushed my way through.
    It's the ex getting all "handy" with my SO that really gets to me. They are not on what you would call friendly terms. My SO basically just ignores her as much as possible. If he has to answer a direct question from her, he makes it short. The only comment I made to him was on the way home when I said it was very hard for me to not stab her hand with my dinner fork every time I saw her reaching for him.
    Did I handle it right by keeping my mouth shut? Would you have had a good comment to make to her?
    BTW, as of a few months ago he is no longer my SO but my fiance'. We've just kept it quiet because we didn't want to steal his daughter's thunder.
  2. WriterofWords

    WriterofWords Has Fainting Chickens

    Dec 25, 2007
    Chaparral, New Mexico
    You have him now, she's jealous and was trying to make you uneasy and be the "alpha hen". You did good, just be the bigger person. He handled it pretty well too from what you say. In the back of your mind be as petty and nasty as you want, but put your "I'm an adult and won't play these games" persona on for the public. Good job.
  3. DuckLady

    DuckLady Administrator

    Jan 11, 2007
    NE Washington State
    You handled it perfectly.
    Believeme, eveyone noticed how classy you were and how trampy she was.

    You are the better person.
  4. What she said! Lol... well put, Writer of Words!

    I think that you really handled it the best way that you could. Just try not to let it get to you. It's not worth it. You know how he feels about her and how much he loves you, so just try to put her stupid actions out of your mind.
  5. shareneh

    shareneh In the Brooder

    Aug 2, 2008
    North Dakota
    Be proud of yourself. You didn't say or do anything to wreck the wedding or reception even though you wanted to. You will reap the rewards of your patience tonight. Your fiance and his daughter will respect you even more now. Just keep on loving your man and supporting him and his kids as much as possible. You must really love him to tolerate this treatment from his ex. Chin up...
  6. Mrs MIA

    Mrs MIA Chick Magnet

    Mar 3, 2008
    Quote:Terrie said exactly what I was thinking. Smile, and know that your soon-to-be step-daughter's wedding was not marred by a scene. [​IMG] You ARE classy... [​IMG]
  7. Yep, you did the right thing. Sounds like you handled it perfectly. I bet your jaw was sore from gritting your teeth for so long!!
  8. silkiechicken

    silkiechicken Staff PhD

    Sounds like you did it all right and didn't interrupt your SO's daughter's special day. By your SO ignoring his ex, sounds like he did it right too. [​IMG]
  9. therealsilkiechick

    therealsilkiechick ShowGirl Queen

    Jul 18, 2007
    Northwestern, pa
    u both did great!! that woman will be fumeing when she gets home. [​IMG] she'll be talking about u to her sister flipping mad when she get's home cause she didn't get to u and when she thinks about the beautiful smile u gave her all day. [​IMG] she'll be even more poed. so know u got ur revenge, rotfl even though u didn't see it there trust me ya drove her crazy!! [​IMG]

    i think she was useing that to get to ya to embarrase u and to cause a sceen but the real prob is she is jealous u will become closer to her daughter than her. unless it is jealousy cuz u will be takeing her family so she figured she's get 2 birds with one stone. u ruin daughters wedding and it ruins ur relationship with SO and daughter hopeing u r removed from the picture, some people r just evil that way.

    u got the man honey so don't worry!!! i agree very classy and awesome job, don't let her know anything bothers u!! [​IMG]
  10. gritsar

    gritsar Cows, Chooks & Impys - OH MY!

    Nov 9, 2007
    SW Arkansas
    Thanks y'all for the kind words. Believe me, they really have made me feel better. [​IMG]
    To be honest, one of the reasons I was able to keep my cool was that his DD went out of her way to make me feel a part of the day. She knew that her Dad would be busy escorting her to the ceremony site, leaving me in a sea of strangers. She made arrangements for someone that I did know to be by my side until my SO was done doing his dad duty. She also made sure that I had a beautiful corsage and a place of honor to sit next to my SO. She included me in the pics with her Dad. She's the classy one! [​IMG]
    What made it really easy to bite my tongue happened when we first arrived and I got a good look at his ex. Right off I could see that she had dyed her normally dark brown hair to (almost) match mine, which is naturally light auburn. Given her excessively curly hair what she ended up with was a bizarre looking red afro. [​IMG]

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