Lessons learned in my first actual relationship (That failed.)

[Ec_Prokta]

1. Having the other person treat you like a lapdog is a BAD THING. Very, very bad. Doesn't matter if it makes him happy. B.A.D.

2. If he's controlling, get the heck out.

3. Doesn't matter if he's hot or not. Look at how he treats others as well.


You'd think these would be more obvious to me, but, well, I guess not.

Also, for guys, if you want them to stop something or do something differently, do you have to explicitly tell him to stop doing it, or are there better ways?

Anyway, yeah, that's part of the reason why I haven't been on as much. Good to be back and all, but I won't be back a whole lot since my computer is... ehh...

 

[Kevin565]

 

[punk-a-doodle]

Controlling is very, very bad. Gad you learned this early!

 

[eenie114]

Glad to see you back, Ec. Missed you. And glad to hear that guy got kicked to the curb! Sounds like he was a real piece of work. I can't imagine any guy trying to make you his lapdog and getting away with it for long.

 

[Ole and Lena]

Yes, you need to tell guys explicitly to do something differently or stop doing it so we know what to ignore or do the opposite of. That's what my wife would tell you. Seriously, we PREFER direct. If you're wrong we'll either tell you or blow it off and hope it goes away. The latter is our version of diplomacy, the former is "if I piss her off enough, maybe we'll have some makeup lovin later."

That's the ageless comm. gab between the sexes. Can't find it now, but there's a funny picture out there of 2 machines. One is labled "man" and has an on/off switch and a fuel cap. The other is labeled "woman" and is a total mess of dials, levers, indicators, guages, bells and whistles. So true.

 

[Ec_Prokta]

Glad to see you back, Ec. Missed you. And glad to hear that guy got kicked to the curb! Sounds like he was a real piece of work. I can't imagine any guy trying to make you his lapdog and getting away with it for long.

Yeah, but I put up with it since he was happy, and his life wasn't exactly the best. Our relationship, in my eyes, sucked majorly. Oi vey, glad he's gone.

Yes, you need to tell guys explicitly to do something differently or stop doing it so we know what to ignore or do the opposite of. That's what my wife would tell you. Seriously, we PREFER direct. If you're wrong we'll either tell you or blow it off and hope it goes away. The latter is our version of diplomacy, the former is "if I piss her off enough, maybe we'll have some makeup lovin later."

That's the ageless comm. gab between the sexes. Can't find it now, but there's a funny picture out there of 2 machines. One is labled "man" and has an on/off switch and a fuel cap. The other is labeled "woman" and is a total mess of dials, levers, indicators, guages, bells and whistles. So true.

Ahh, gotcha. Thanks for tellin' me.

I've seen that picture before, actually.

It's so true.

 

[EweSheep]

yep men and women....all different LOL!

Yes, you need to tell guys explicitly to do something differently or stop doing it so we know what to ignore or do the opposite of. That's what my wife would tell you. Seriously, we PREFER direct. If you're wrong we'll either tell you or blow it off and hope it goes away. The latter is our version of diplomacy, the former is "if I piss her off enough, maybe we'll have some makeup lovin later."

That's the ageless comm. gab between the sexes. Can't find it now, but there's a funny picture out there of 2 machines. One is labled "man" and has an on/off switch and a fuel cap. The other is labeled "woman" and is a total mess of dials, levers, indicators, guages, bells and whistles. So true.

 

[Ec_Prokta]

Also, it's a good idea to find out from past exes and friends if the guy you're dating is a stalker or not. It pays off in the end, because you won't have a guy coming to websites, posing as some random guy, and then yelling at you for finding out that you're ignoring him. ...Yeah.

 

[Tanichca]

don't worry, Ec, that perfect someone is out there. And I'll bet he looks just like Kotetsu Karabugi!

My first bf wasn't a controller... just a flirt, and he couldn't stand up for himself to save his life. Oh, and he had the emotional involvement of a mushroom.

I made myself believe he was perfect, until it finally got through my head that he wasn't. But at this age, that's life, learning and losing and falling and getting up until you find that someone.

 

[Ec_Prokta]

don't worry, Ec, that perfect someone is out there. And I'll bet he looks just like Kotetsu Karabugi!

My first bf wasn't a controller... just a flirt, and he couldn't stand up for himself to save his life. Oh, and he had the emotional involvement of a mushroom.

I made myself believe he was perfect, until it finally got through my head that he wasn't. But at this age, that's life, learning and losing and falling and getting up until you find that someone.

Oh you~ Honestly, if he does, I would fangirl myself to death.
Ouch, yeah, I understand the whole "Making yourself think he's perfect" thing.