Life.boys.a rant. -it just takes some time, it'll be alright, alright

[bigreyhorse]

I'd like to rant if thats ok, you can respond if you want I don't care either way.

Theres this guy that I know, we get along so well it's perfect, he's a total redneck and a sweetheart at the same time, we have a lot in common (though I don't think I'm a redneck lol )

So he had a thing for a friend of mine who already has a boyfriend, well she's naturally a little flirty so he just kept falling for her harder and harder... he started figuring out that she isn't going to leave her guy for him and backed off. He seemed to be getting over her, then after a while he started talking to me more, we got to know eachother better, became closer friends and yesterday we made it official to be bf/gf, I even got my first kiss,

(I'm telling wayy too much, but oh well).
He had to go to PA today for christmas, so he wanted to come over and talk before he left, he told me that he still had feelings for the other girl, and we could still be friends, he doesn't want anything to change... HOW can nothing change?! I told him no more cuddling, he didn't like that, but I'm not going to snuggle or hold hands with a guy who is JUST a friend, I'm not mad at him, just irritated because this had to happen, we moved too fast - HE moved too fast, especially if he knew the feelings that he had were still there. I'd take him back, I love talking to him, and just being near him, but this is going to take him time to get over her.

I was really glad that he told me though, he said "if I still had feelings for a girl and had a girlfriend at the same time then I'd feel like I was cheating, and thats the worst thing in the world... it's terrible." I felt a little better after he said that, it was genuine, he said it like he meant it.

So, there is my latest drama... sad, pathetic, I don't know what to do now, except wait for either someone else, or preferably the guy that broke my heart today... I'm a loser, and I haven't even cried yet...I'm waiting for the tears to come and I really don't want to go to bed because that's when I'll cry, I've never cried over a dumb boy, the others I've liked weren't as good as him. poo.
Goodnight and thanks for reading the nighttime drama of My Life... sorry I put you through that, though I KNOW there is worse out there.

 

[Goat_Walker]

The only men truly reliable no matter what are Ben and Jerry

I know its hard, been their , done that. Not much Advice or comfort can be given right now, a broken heart takes time to heal and it heals on its own time.

 

[BorderKelpie]

You're young, aren't you? Unfortunatly, this is something to get used to. People are complicated and quite often untruthful, even to themselves. I am glad he was honest with you, although, it would have been nice if he had expressed himself earlier in the relationship. At least he expressed himself at all. You are right, no hand holding/cuddling while he sorts things out for himself. Do not 'wait' for him, but don't go out looking for a replacement BF. Just enjoy your life, work toward your goals and when (not if, when) the perfect person comes along, you will be ready - not tanged up in a 'friends with benefits' sort of thing. Respect yourself, cry if necessary (no shame in that) and move on.
You're ok. It's hard at times, but this is a great learning experience, go ahead and learn from it. Move more slowly next time. No reason to jump into a long term relationship. If it's meant to be long term, you will want to take your time and enjoy it - that's what makes it long term. Get to know yourself so you can be a better person when you do find your 'one.'

 

[ve]

This guy is not redy for you.Keep him as fried but back up yourself.To be sad is OK but to cry will be too much.Life is nice and you are young.Your love is ahead.Wish all the best.I hope some lady will say more . You know ladies are beter to talk.

 

[ranchhand]

Quote:
You need some time to mature and he probably needs even more. It's just part of growing up, and it isn't always fun.

However.... the part I highlighted? That attitude isn't a very good way to make friends.

 

[redhen]

Um... Dont ever allow yourself to become second best to anyone.
When you are with the right person, you will know it. THey'll put you above anyone else.. they'll want only you..
Never ever settle for less...
If he still has feelings for your friend..so be it. But dont let him USE you just because he cant have her...
Good luck in everything..stay strong. You'll find the right person for YOU, believe me.

 

[horsejody]

It sounds like he was testing the waters to see if he could have a little squeeze on the side while he waits for the what he really wants. If you want to be friends, be friends, but wait a while. Keep your distance for a while. Don't let people play games with your heart. When it comes to romantic relationships, it's never a good idea to play second fiddle to anybody or anything. Don't let him use you. People that get used, get thrown away. You can do a lot better. Be patient. When you least expoect it and when you aren't even looking, the right one will appear. Heck, you may know him already. There are a lot of nice guys in the world that won't use you. I don't know how old you are, but if you are in high school or college, do yourself a favor. The next time you are in class look around the room. Take a serious look at all of the young men. How many do you know? How many have you overlooked in your social life? Try to look past blemishes, shyness, etc. Wonderful men are everywhere. They are not few and far between. Ditch the users. You are a keeper, so you should only settle for a keeper.

 

[Cindiloohoo]

Want me to go kick is butt? J/K

Trying to cheer you up!!! My girls always think that's funny anyway...their mom...kicking butt...of some stupid boy that has no clue what he could have...it'll pass little sister! you will find the right guy. Pretend like you just needed to get your first kiss out of the way and he was lucky enough to be there for it. Play it off and move on. Don't bring it up again, don't be sad, and most important don't play games with this kid anymore, because he obviously doesn't play fair. Remember boys mature slower and they are often confused at this age. You'd probably do best to give them a few years and enjoy your own life until the ones you are interested in grow up a little.

 

[Elite Silkies]

Quote:

 

[bigreyhorse]

I apologize for the not caring about replies remark, everything was just starting to sink in and I was getting frustrated, theres no excuse for that.
I'm planning on seeing him after he comes back so I can let him know how I feel and we can talk more , I don't think I even said anything related to what he said when he told me, I have a lot to tell him and he's probably going to be overwhelmed by it, I'll have to try and not go overboard.
Like I said, I'd take him back but I'm not going to snatch him up right away if he asks in a week if we can get back together, or even a month, that's not enough time. Like you all said, I'm young, 18, theres someone for me somewhere.
I'm planning to tell him that whenever/if he'd be ready to get back together, and I haven't found someone else, I'd be willing. I guess I need to ask him if he really liked me for me, or if he was just using me as a distraction, someone to get his mind off of her... so much to ask.
I really hate crying in front of people, but I couldn't cry at all last night for anything, I ended up crying today and I gave myself a headache, it's bad too, we we're only together officially 14 hrs, but we were too close of friends before that, I'd never be that close to any of my other guy friends, it would be weird. Ugh... I'm not looking forward to the next get together, all our friends are gonna be wondering what the heck is going on, idk what he's said, I haven't said a word to the girls, I figured it would be best.

Thanks to everyone who replied, I really do appreciate the replies reading these are like having more moms

or sisters, or best friend that I never knew