Life is changing for us, and it is not for a positive reason

[debilorrah]

Deb I haven't scrolled through my list of threads in a while. I just did and saw your thread and remembered you were getting married last month! OMG!! I'm sorry I'm congratulating you and Ken late! You both look great in the pics! Congratulations!

Thank you!!!!

 

[Chickiebabyfluff]

Hey Miss Debi, it has been a while since we last talked i am so sorry that you are having to go through this!! Please know that you and Ken are in my thots and prayers!! Enjoy every second that you two can together!!

 

[debilorrah]

Ken seems to be resigned to just give up on the day that funeral will be paid for if he dies. I am not happy about that in the least.

 

[1muttsfan]

??? He is having another bad day, or is this something he thinks about all the time?

 

[debilorrah]

??? He is having another bad day, or is this something he thinks about all the time?

He thinks about it all the time. He said last night he is just so tired. I told him I would mad as hell if he just gives up.

 

[oldrooster]

Quote:
Don't get mad, otherwise you may end up regretting it, I know you want him to fight to live, but try to have him go seek mental health help even if it is talking to a clergy person, also encourage him to look forward to "small" milestones, like a spring break trip, then mormaorial day event, 4th of July etc. etc. etc. if he has a goal even short term it might help.
edited to say honestly in his shoes I can't honestly say I wouldn't think the same way or worse. I know how it feels to fight through some health issues (I know not as sever as his) and I at times wish it would end and wanted some sort of relief.....

 

[HeatherLynn]

I would just agree with him and then plan the most expensive dang funeral ever. Now granted I was raised by possibly the worlds most stubborn man who is also going through the same attitude. Everything revolves around him getting stuff done so he can die I swear. So we just keep adding to the list. If he is going to be onery and not stop dwelling on it then we are going to make the list very very long so he can't quit. We tried the talking and reasoning thing but it didn't work. This was plan B.

 

[1muttsfan]

A guy who is planning to give it all up does not get married to his honey - he its likely just feeling discouraged, and that is when that kind of thinking sneaks in. Love him up and keep moving foreward, you can carry him along until he is less dejected.

It is hard to live with a terminal illness. The thing is, he could still live a long time and be happy. Has he read Tuesdays with Morrie? It is about a man's (sportswriter Mitch Albom) friendship with a mentor who is terminal with ALS, yet has an amazing outlook on life.

And how about you? How are you doing (hugs) ?

 

[shadow rabbit10]

Has he read Tuesdays with Morrie? It is about a man's (sportswriter Mitch Albom) friendship with a mentor who is terminal with ALS, yet has an amazing outlook on life.
And how about you? How are you doing (hugs) ?

I was actually going to recommend that book as well! 1muttsfan is right, it is a great book that teaches a lot of lessons. I had to read it in school last year and it can really change your outlook on things. You and Ken should read it!

 

[debilorrah]

A couple things you need to know: 1) I am not angry with him to his face EVER. This is a fight for his life, and my anger can just danged well wait. 2) We have a funeral pre-purchased. If he dies after 2/20/13, the insurance kicks in and I would not have to make more payments - THAT is where this comes from. 3) I am ALWAYS supporting of him, I go out of my way to help him out with whatever convoluted dream he may have to provide for Sara.

Lastly, I am alternately doing ok, and about to fall apart. Tonight I am ok.