Loss of my favourite chicken

[crunchygranola]

Hi everyone,

Today I just discovered by counting the flock (and just noticing my cute chicken didn’t appear) that I was missing one chicken.
Turns out it was our favourite chicken… Fluffy. Fluffy was one of the first hatchlings we had here and was the only one who had fluffy feathers.
She was the only one we could pick up and cuddle… She wasn't even 1 year old and just started laying.

I’m devastated. Probably a fox took her as they free range, and I was a whole day on my laptop while I normally always spend a lot of time before windows, checking my chickens. I recall now also that she probably wasn’t in the henhouse last night, but I was so tired that the alarm bells didn’t immediately ring.

I lost 7 baby chicks before they hatched last year in April, and one of the ones that did hatch got eaten by a crow.
Fluffy and her sister were the ones that hatched and lived. I had another hatch and there was also a hatchling that didn’t make it.
She was so loved and so special and I have a hard time coping with it.

I’ve had chickens two times in the past as a child, who both died within 2 years (they got parasites but we had no knowledge about it).
After that we decided not to have chickens anymore, until the summer of 2022. I was so happy.
I still am happy with my chickens, but I don’t know if I’m capable of handling the loss.
I sometimes still cry over the baby chicks I lost last year.

I’ve searched everywhere for her, but she is nowhere to be found.

I’m just sharing this because most of my friends don’t understand why I’m so attached to 'chickens'. I’m always the 'dramatic' one in most friend groups regarding animals. I cry for mice, chickens, even rats when my cat catches them before my eyes.
I figured that most people on this platform would understand how I feel. I feel horrible. I’m so bad at coping with these things lol.

Sorry for rambling, I just had to share it somewhere where people would understand how I feel.
The fact that I will not see her ever again in this earthly life, just breaks my heart so badly.

I am so sorry for making this post so long, my heart is just so heavy and I miss her so dearly.
Thanks for everyone who understands.
A few pictures of my beloved Fluffy, from baby chick to an adult hen (I lost a few video’s and pictures of her but the memories are with me);

I am so sorry…
Hugs from PA.