Mad and frustrated at a stupid ad on TV! (RANT!!!)

[Prettiest Frog]

There are spanked kids that are unholy terrors and unspanked kids who are model angels. Consistency and a good example matter a lot more than spanking or not spanking. My aunt spanked, my cousins are drug users, alcoholics, and one is in jail for killing someone via DUI. My friend considers herself a 'friend' to her kids and they are all well behaved kids with bright futures.


Spanking isn't some magical fix-all that will turn your kid into a saint, and it isn't horrible abuse that will turn your kid into a serial killer. It's a tool that may or may not be necessary and should only be used properly.

 

[CityGirlintheCountry]

If we EVER complained about what my parents cooked, we had to cook the next meal. We learned early in the game to smile and say thank you.

 

[mom'sfolly]

I hate those ads too, I've been known to shout at the tv. I have one kid who will eat anything, and another who is somewhat picky. We have a 3 bite rule and the option of a pb&j or fruit. The sandwich option is not always available, it sort of depends on what we are having for dinner. There are a few things my younger son will not eat, so he gets to make himself a sandwich. These are usually spicy foods, or ones he has textural issues with. If he has enjoyed something in the past, he has to eat it when it is served. No opting out if you just don't feel like eating that.

I think kids should made to try things, but not absolutely forced to eat things they don't like. Adults are allowed to choose what they eat, and kids should learn to choose too. In my house, if you serve yourself something, you must finish it. This encourages the kids to think about what they are eating. There are some foods my kids like, but I hate, so occasionally, they get the "mom hates" meals. Kids taste buds are more sensitive than adults, and they tend to have more issues with food; but you can still feed them without making a different meal for everyone. There are also some foods my kids will never be served, because I won't fix food that I won't eat, and I won't eat liver, tripe, kidneys, brussels sprouts, asparagus, pickled herring or lutefisk. We also do a lot of fruit based "desserts" because they up the number of servings my kids get, without them thinking about it. Crustless pumpkin pie is a favorite, as are berries with yogurt "cream".

The reason I'm not of the "finish every bite, eat what I fix" school is because my parents were. I was forced to eat things that made me vomit, and when I refused to eat them I was served them for the next meal. I could out stubborn my mother every time, because even after being hungry for three meals, I still wasn't going to eat something that made me throw up. As an adult, I am very fat. I think that the "clean your plate" ethic helped get me there. I have finished many a restaurant meal that was too much food, simply because I felt I should. I'm getting away from that, but it is very hard to unlearn that behavior.

 

[Opa]

I've never liked hearing "try one bite" or "eat that or fix yourself a peanut butter sandwich". Only one word is needed, "EAT"! With some you might need to tell them they will sit there until they do eat.

 

[rancher hicks]

Here I go again. I'm not sure how old the OP's child is but. My son was a picky eater and my wife is a good cook. We "all" sat at the table at dinner time "together". I always encouraged them by giving them some of everything. Don't like beans, you've got to eat 5, or a spoonful or 1/2, just a little. Me I hate brussel sprouts til this day, but I ate 3. I gagged them down but I was determined to set an "example" for my kids.
One time my son wouldn't eat at Mc's and we went to a friends for a b-day party afterward. He got no cake.
If you think your child is not eating healthy enough there are ways to get around it. Many foods are benefitial w/ vitamins and stuff so try to be selective and use variety as your ally. Include somethings they like and some they don't. Me, I just cover everything in gravy.
Why should they obey me? "I'm the Dad and Cuz I brought you into this world and I can take you out, that's why!" (just kidding)

 

[Prettiest Frog]

Quote:
The problem with that mentality is, well, let me demonstrate with my own experiences.

I am lactose intolerant. I learned very early that things with dairy in them made me feel bad, so I didn't like them. My grandmother is a dairy fanatic, everything must have a cream sauce. She put copious amounts of cream and butter into her mashed potatoes. If I were to eat 6 or so bites of her mashed potatoes, I would be nauseous, but at age 4 I lacked the ability to adequately explain this to her. She interpreted 'it makes my tummy hurt' as me just not liking the taste, and would do the 'sit there until you do eat' method. As a result, I gained a lot of weight as a child because of my lactose intolerance and being made to eat these foods, and I was sick a lot. Looking back, I still to this day consider what she did to be abusive on several levels.

 

[Hangin Wit My Peeps]

Good to know someone else is as mean as I am...lol!

LOL this is funny because when my nieces/nephews come to visit when they were little they never failed to tell me how mean of a mom I was to my kids because I made them eat their "healthy" dinner at least SOME of it...they were never forced to eat everything on their plate but I always told them take what you WILL eat rather then wasting it. My sisters would just let them eat/or not eat whatever they wanted growing up. I hated that! So I was the "MEAN" aunt. NOW they are adults and understand what I was doing and now they are mad at their moms for not caring that they were healthy! LOL Now they all love me

 

[deb1]

Quote:
My mother did this. The problem was that I was very, very stubborn. Spankings didn't work and I would sit until bedtime. One time, I made myself vomit to avoid the dinner. It would have been much more productive if she had been matter of fact over my refusal to eat. A couple of nights of going hungry probably would have fixed me.

My children have my temperment. Giving them a limited choice or letting them go hungry, has created children that generally eat what I set before them. They are also willing to try a lot of different foods(including eel) For my kids my methods work. Kids have such a wide variety of personalities that what works in one family might be wrong for another family.

 

[ebwy]

I had a reputation as a picky eater when I was a child but I don't think I was. If something makes you almost puke when you try to eat it, you wouldn't eat it. That said, I DID have to try things. My parents could have saved themselves and me a lot of hassles by not insisting on me eating foods that made me feel ill. As for the "clear your plate" theory, again my parents could have saved time and trouble and prevented food waste by not serving me more than I could eat. Even foods you like will make you feel ill if you have to eat twice as much as you need.

I still can't eat pasta because the texture makes me puke. There are a few things I can't eat due to allergies. And I still don't eat liver or rabbit because the tastes make me feel sick. But now I DO eat green veggies, curries (love 'em!), pizza, tomatoes, fish... all things that made me feel physically sick when I was a child. It's been a long process learning that food does not always mean stress.

The food battles in my house were awful and have permanently influenced the way I feel about food today. I remember being sat at the table one sunday for 4 hours because I would NOT eat my veg. My parents were insisting I couldn't leave until I did, and I couldn't because I didn't want to be sick. Eventually my father asked "are you going to eat that yet?" and I asked him "would you?"
He looked at it and agreed that he wouldn't with 4 hour old cold congealed gravy on it either and the dogs got to eat it instead.

All the yelling at me just means my relationship with food is just never going to be normal. At least now I can eat with people even if I don't know them extremely well, so I am improving. There was a phase where I had to take my food to my room to eat it rather than eating with my housemates.

There were foods we never had because my parents didn't like them. So eventually they conceeded that the waste of food was their fault for trying to make me eat things I couldn't (I was adolescent by that point). I was getting my nutrition from other things, like fruit. So my mother stopped trying to make me eat foods I hated and mealtimes were no longer traumatic for me. She didn't tend to do other meals for me - I ate the bits I could, and she stopped putting the other stuff on my plate. That solved the oft-quoted "think of all those starving children in africa!" moments... (my reply was "yes, think of them and stop wasting food by cooking me things you know I can't eat!")

bottom line is, there's a world of difference between choosing not to eat something and being unable to.

My family still call me "picky" but if you know something will make you ill (garlic makes my face swell up and itch, alcohol gives me a rash, shellfish could kill me...) then you'd be an idiot to eat it. My mother still "forgets" and tries to give me mushrooms (make me collapse) from time to time, so when I'm in her house I help out in the kitchen so I can be sure the foods I can't have never touch my plate.

I do eat foods I don't like out of politeness if someone else has cooked them for me, but I still won't eat something that will make me ill.

 

[Opa]

Big difference between not wanting to eat a particular food and not wanting to eat something that makes you sick. An alert parent should be able to determine the difference.