People who just don't like cities really ought not to post about what to do in cities. Don't be freaked out. You could get someone to say all the same negative stuff about any city but that doesnt mean there arent wonderful people, sights to see and places worth visiting. Sheesh.
PM me if you want info on excellent ethnic restaurants, children's museums, cool stuff other than tourist traps and traffic, which one can find anywhere.
Also there are a bunch of us on BYC who live in Western Mass, which is not far at all - two hours max, the state is dinky - and more akin to how you picture Vermont or upstate NY.
So feel free to PM for info about Western Mass too, if you like winter hiking, bookstores, college towns, tiny white churches with town greens, gay marriage, gorgeous whitewater rivers, excellent contemporary art museum, maple syrup or any of our other finer exports.
Humorously, I'm heading to California for MY sister's wedding right around when you're swinging thisaway. Have a great trip!