Me and my B.I.G. mouth...long rant-ish thing

[sparkles2307]

I have the best stepdad. Really, as far as a step parent goes, I couldnt have hand-picked a better one. He's not my dad for sure and never will be, but we have a good relationship and he thinks of my kids as his own grandkids. Or so I thought...

Mom begged me to live here in ice-box freaking MN so she oculd see the babies more often. I caved. I hate it here, summers are great but they dont make up for the winters at all. I'm miserable and I miss my daddy and Wyoming. But she said she'd "die" without me close by. SO here I sit.

Stepdad is a control freak, as am I. We butt heads, a lot, because we both like to be right (but he's frequently wrong IMHO). DS#1 is 5.5 now, low maint and just a joy to be around (when lil brother aint there) and SD decided that DS should go to my step brother's football games this year since DS is so easy to care for now and WORSHIPS SB. Mom decides to have DS to her house Friday and take him to SB's 1st game of the season, then have a sleepover and take him to a friends' wedding tomorrow. She tells SD and he flips out saying he never gets to do anything alone with her anymore and guilt trips her into cancelling on me. Fine, whatever I like having my kids around anyways and I didnt ASK her to babysit it was her idea. But she DEFENDS his behavior saying that he just needs to be alone with her "and we DID watch the boys one day last week" ...are you KIDDING ME? 99% of the time they are ALONE together, I try to keep away because SD is ALWAYS like this, all pouty and jealous (how can a 60 yo man be jealous of a 5 yr old and not feel bad about it!?) I dont see how much more ALONE time he wants, good god my in-laws watch the boys more and they arent even related to them! SO my mom asks me what I think. BIG mistake, this has been building up for 3 years and I told her exactly how I feel about it. Now shes not emailing me back... I dont ask her or expect her to be my mommy, I am 25 and have my own life, but if she ASKS me to be here and then lets him keep us apart why the heck did I come here!? Argh if I werent working on my christian values there are several words I'd like to say right now... but I feel bad, I feel like I hurt my mom even tho I reiterated that I dont want to hurt her but I think she needs to hear this and I told her that I do love SD but he's gotta lighten up cause I have had it up to HERE. I feel like my big mouth dug a big hole...but I also feel like I had a right to tell her. Did I overstep my bounds or was there something that needed to be said here?

 

[sfw2]

She asked. You answered. It may take her a little time to process, but, eventually, your relationship will be stronger for it. Or not. Either way, your mother should understand that you're a grown woman with a family of your own to look out for. IMO, she needed to know how you feel.

 

[CityGirlintheCountry]

Perhaps a fabulous job opportunity will open up about 2 hours SOUTH of your mom and SD. Far enough away to not deal with the trauma but close enough to check on mom should there be trouble.

Good luck. Family traumas are the worst.

 

[Elite Silkies]

I think you should do what is going to make you happy. If you are miserable where your at, then I think you should go home to Wyoming.

You can always visit your mom on holidays, etc. She should understand, because she should want you to be happy.

About SD, as long as your mom allows him to act the way he does, he is never going to change. She watches the kids one day a week and he has the other 6 days to be alone with her.........

You and only you can make such a drastic decision in your life, but you make the decision for "you" and your kids, not for anyone else.

Hope things work out for you. Best Wishes

 

[redhen]

A parents children/grandchildren should come first, always. IMO.
I'd just move back to where i wanted to be if i was you. I wouldnt stress about it at all...

 

[Eggs4Sale]

If I had written that story, it would be in the hopes that people would say "Move". Honestly, it sounds like even if all this hadn't happened, you'd be seriously considering moving. Time flies, you won't get the years back. Do what you can be peaceful with.

Edited to say: I vote LEAVE but that's only because of Al Franken.

 

[English Chick]

Do what is best for you and your children...... you have your own lives to live........ make your own choices ...... you will then have a peaceful heart....... you mom asked for your opinion and you gave it, if she did not want to listen she should not have asked the question....... it is a simple as that and you should not feel guilty .....