Dreamzchaser
Crowing
Thank you Rose. My sister last night told me exactly that. Why didn't I cooked her? Well, I told her that it was not easy. Just becasue we do not eat dog, but if we did she would not eat her puppy even if there was nothing else around. We would die instead of eating our faithful companion. Anyways, Yuesday i talked to my doctor and went to Bible group. Came to realize that I am not eating, sleeping nor going out because she was in the trash bin next to the garage. lights would stay on until 3pm and I would not go to turn them on at night either. the hub had to do it before going to bed at 6pm. So, when he came back from work onTuesday, I told him what I had learned in the Bible group. I know it has nothing to do with Phoebe nor chickens but we do as Christians need to live a life of repentance. I could have done more for her, I could have saved her from her ordeal, even if for a bit longer. I think of her as God's creation for me to care for her. I grew up with chickens and ducks and we ate them all the time. However, i started this journey at this age for eggs only. Never came to mind soup. So, I sat down while Hub dug a hole in front of teh rose bush that she loved, and I wrote her a note. Telling her how much she meant to me and that I was sorry that I did not know how to help her. That I was glad she gave me such wonderful big eggs and all the sassyness she did to give me joy and laughter. That she helped me understand humans in a way and taught me how to study and learn more about chickens so that I can help her sisters and be a better mom to them. He palced her in a box, I put the note inside and he put her in the hole. He then gave me the shovel and I put the dirt on top while closing with sentences of what she meant to me. Yes, it is bizarre but I thank you for so much help. I still cry but I have some closure. I see her place every morning and I am not afraid to go by it to see the others and I cleaned teh rose bush which I never wated it because I do not like roses but now I will take care of that bush. So, I am learning other things in the process.Dream, the first one of course is the hardest. I shed many tears with quite a few when I started. It's always sad, but it does get a bit easier. Just think that I gave them a good life while they were here. Think with Phoebe laying such large eggs caused her to prolapse. I had a hen that had trouble laying from the start. She passed before she was a year old. Always hard to lose the young ones. We make them pets. Give them names and enjoy their antics. I had one hen that developed curled toes and couldn't walk. I put her in a brooder in our heated garage. I had fencing under a tree and she loved being out there where the other hens would lay all around and keep her company. She loved her dust baths. (her legs were fine) She even laid. Gosh, had her for years. She was happpy. What we do for our pets. Most people told me it was just a chicken, put her in a pot. She was my pet. So, I know it's hard for you. Phoebe was special to you. Don't ever worry about calling me.
This group has taught me incredible things. I still have much to learn but there is so much information here that it is impossible to end. I found a nice black box, like to hold a car battery in it, with lid and all. So, I am planning to begin a first aid box for my girls. The next girls will be different. Maybe for meat but not these ones. I willpost pictures later on. I have many things going on and still have stuff to finish before winter. I cannot find tree services that I can get wood chips or mulch that is not walnut nor pine nor that has chemicals. But will keep looking. I guess I will wait a bit for the hay bales for around the coop bottom. They will tear them up before winter is here,lol