Sigh. It was so beautiful yesterday evening. Perfect temperatures, perfect humidity with that golden light as afternoon fades to evening. The occasional bird was singing. The chickens were scratching around happily as I turned last fall's leaves into the garden soil. So peaceful.
I wanted to share it with Dh. I asked him bring a lawn chair out and just enjoy it.
That was disastrous. All he could see was last fall's leaves that I wouldn't let him burn. And (1/2" tall) grass growing along one walkway. And the mound from digging the potatoes last fall (bad because last summer the potatoes "were eaten by the bugs" and I haven't planted potatoes yet. And such.
It brought out a long string of our incompatibilities as far as yards and gardens go. He wants bare earth except the single preferred kind of lawn grass in the lawn or except for the vegetable plants in the garden. No mulch. No companion plants. Certainly not a single weed. Flowers are barely tolerable. He wants to kill every insect he sees. Spray to kill grubs, spray to insects, spray to kill weeds, spray to kill the moss. Water a bit at a time, basically get the surface wet. Not a single leaf on a single plant should have a bug bit in it.
His dad and at least two brothers have perfect lawns - super, super, super thick, not a single blade out of place much less a weed. His sister is deathly allergic to bees. His mother calls every flying thing in the house a hornet (or mosquito), shrieks, and won't rest until it is dead. Ants within 10 feet of the house are enemies because they might come in the house.
I've tried to explain why I want mulch and companion planting. I've tried to explain predator insects and pollinators. I've tried to explain healthy soil.
He "tried it my way." The mulch gets in the way of raking all the weeds out every day or two and the "watering" just sits on top of the mulch so it doesn't get to the plants. There were japanese beetles, asparagus bugs, and squash bugs, and something that "ate the potatoes" (I think it was virus, but I don't know).
I gave up fighting about it once last summer and let him spray. The "spray saved the garden" and "proved" his way is better. Well, spraying like that does work better for the first year anyway. That it ends up with less healthy soil and such is irrelevant to him because there are "bags of fertilizer right up the road at the store.".
This is our fourth year with the garden. Part of the problem is I have made some big mistakes and am still on the steep part of the learning curve. The main problem is my way is never going to look perfect (if artificial is what you think is perfect).
That and I can't convince him that I am not my parents. My parents had more weeds than grass in the "lawn" and the weeds totally took over the garden by August.