And can you get a Boston Cooler anywhere else? (Vernors and ice cream shake for those who've never had one)
If you don't know what that at least IS....Ill be happy to point you to your nearest Michigan Welcome Center and you can reread what you obviously have overlooked. Those are the ABSOULTE BEST THINGS EVER!!!!
However I did learn a valuable lesson since we're talking about this.
Made the horrible mistake of trying to order one at the "ice cream" shop on Woodward Ave. Sign has an old ice cream cone off the front of the store, brick building fairly close to the Birmingham border. Mind you this was back when I was in high school. I pull over to this shop and tell the girl I want a Boston Cooler. She looks at me like I just told her I've got a dead body in the trunk. Face wrenched up, combined with utter shock at my request. I figured she must have been from Ohio making her slow on the uptake and obviously didn't know what a good thing was (since they make such a stink over their precious nut aka the buckeye) but at least was smart enough to move to Michigan to try to undo the damage Ohio does to folks. So I repeated myself and got the same face/shock response which only further confirmed my thoughts about individuals from Ohio.
So I ask her "Do you know what a Boston Cooler is?"
Girl: "Ummm....No"
Realizing I had a teachable moment to enlighten this poor uneducated girl on how to craft perfection I explain how this refreshment is cultivated and served.
Me: "Its a root beer float but instead of root beer you use Vernors. I see you have Vernors, so please go make me a large Boston Cooler". Her soured expression is now turned to one of absolute wonder. Eyes glazed over almost mesmerized. I could see that she obviously understood the power of the Boston Cooler and now realized how empty her life was since she had not experienced one yet. I thought about buying her one but I quickly dismissed that idea for fear of giving the wrong impression or worse yet creating a stalker for enabling this poor thing on the absolute power of the Boston Cooler. Because with great power comes great responsibilty and honestly I just wasn't up for taking responsibilty for this any girl, let alone a transplant from Ohio. Knowing where she was from I figured she had enough baggage already so why should I burden her with this newfound addiction? I also thought she might be able to appreciate all the flavors both strong and subtle, I mean how refined can your palate be if you eat paste and root for the scarlet and grey teams?
She takes my money, and walks away shaking her head. I figure she's so impressed with my knowledge on the drink of the Gods and she's so humbled she can't believe her luck on this chance meeting and learning something. As she's walking away I thought I heard her say "Its all fun" which I assumed must be some sort of Ohio catch phrase for appreciation, but then I'm not familiar with the Ohio dialects as I was never very good at cave drawings and gesturing.
She returns with a large 64oz cup with a lid on it and I'm off to go find enjoy nirvana in liquid form. I noticed that she was watching for my approval of her first attempt at something so awesome, but I set it in the cup holder of my car and pull out onto Woodward Ave to head home.
I come to a red light and start stirring. Unable to resist, I take a mammoth sized gulp. Much to my paralyzing dismay I realize that I have a Vernors
CUSTARD FLOAT!!! Talk about
!!!! I nearly threw up it was so vile. What should have been vanilla/ginger heaven was replaced by something that Id imagine would be secreated from a creature in Harry Potter. I immediately whipped the car around and went to cuss out this ignorant girl from Ohio and all her knuckle dragging buckeye picking family when I pulled up and realized it was a custard shop and they didn't serve ice cream, they served custard. And then I remembered what she said. It wasn't "its all fun"...I realized she said "Its your funeral".
So now I'm aware of custard shops on Woodward Ave and have learned that frozen custard shops can sell Vernors. But Vernors is actually one of the most stomach wrenching humbling wastes of money that I could ever stumble upon even if your server is from Ohio.
