The Minnesota Cow Ole is a farmer in Wisconsin who needs a new milk cow. He hears about a nice one for sale over in Minnesota, so he drives to Minnesota, looks at the cow, and reaches under to see if she gives milk. When he grabs the teat and pulls, the cow farts. Ole is very surprised, so he looks at the farmer who's selling the cow, then reaches under the cow to try again. He grabs another teat, pulls, and the cow farts again. But milk comes out, so after some discussion, Ole decides to buy the cow and takes it home. He calls his neighbor, Sven, over and says, "Hey Sven, come and look at dis here new cow I yust bought. Pull her teat and see vat happens." Sven reaches under, pulls the teat, and the cow farts. Sven looks at Ole and says, "I bet you bought dis cow in Minnesota, yah?" Ole is very surprised and says, "Yah, dats right. But how did you know?" Sven says, "My wife is from Minnesota."
I know people just like Ole & Sven...honest Ole and Sven die and woke up in Hell. The next day the devil stops in to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and bomber hats warming themselves around the fire. The devil asks them, "What are you doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?" Ole and Sven reply, "Vell, ya know, we're from nordern Minnesoda, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, ya know." The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat. The next morning he stops in again and there they are, still dressed in parkas, hats and mittens. The devil asks them again, "Its awfully hot down here, can't you guys feel that?" Again,Ole and Sven reply, "Vell, like we told you yesterday, we're from nordern Minnesoda, the land of snow and ice and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, ya know." This gets the devil a little steamed up and he decides to fix the two guys. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. The people are wailing and creaming every where. He stops by the room with the two guys from Minnesoda and finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling walleye and drinking beer. The devil is astonished, "Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves." The two Minnesodans reply, "Vell, ya know, we don't get too much warm weather up dere in Bemidji, we've just got to have a fish fry when the weather's this nice." The devil is absolutely furious, he can hardly see straight. Finally he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in hell. The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, people are shivering so bad that they are unable to wail, moan and gnash their teeth. The devil smiles and heads for the room with the two Minnesotans. He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, bomber hats, and mittens. They are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men. The devil is dumbfounded, "I don't understand, when I turn up the heat you're happy. Now its freezing cold and you're still happy. What is wrong with you two?" Ole and Sven look at the devil in surprise, "Vell, don't ya know, if Hell froze over dat must mean da Vikings won da Super Bowl.
