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Hey! You should have seen me 2 months ago when I lost my gold fish Frick (Frack went years ago) Frick was 14 years old!!! and believe it or not was so gentle and tame you could pet him, (he was hugh!) and also was my Siamese's best friend. They slept together at the corner of the tank!! He is still looking for him!
So yes I totally understand. As I think most of us do. Have a good cry and find another to make your "special" one.
Jacie