My husband is always meddling.......

[ChicksterJo]

I had somewhat of the same problem last year when we had chickens. My SO wanted them too so I expected him to care for them. Luckily when I was vocal about him helping he stepped up to the plate. Sometimes he complained about going out to feed or water them but I told him that they were his chickens too. Men aren't mind-readers. My SO told me this when we first met and I wasn't good at communicating what my wants or needs were to him...he said he's not a mind-reader. I have to TELL him EXACTLY what I want him to do. Maybe your husband is the same. Just a thought and good luck!

 

[Mattemma]

Any way you can unhook the coop from the electrical line?

I would keep what you want and let dh know if he wants to keep any then those are his responsibility.He will have his coop to tend too,and you will have yours. I would not care for his unless it was agreed upon that you would take turns.Really though it would be better going out each day TOGETHER and doing it if that is possible.

I had a similar discussion with my kids today regarding animal care.We have MANY animals and I am taking care of them all. The only time anyone ever helps is when I say I am going to rehome them.Then everyone is hopping around tending to them. I warned them if they do not keep up with it(like usual) I will rehome them. No more arguing.No more warning.

No point in keeping animals others want,but you resentfully have to take care of all the time.

For me the chickens are totally my responsibility,but dh sure enjoys the eggs,lol.Best wishes!

 

[conny63malies]

I am glad mine will prob. never that involved or (hopefully) ask me before buying chickens. I know building a coop will be up to me anyways, since I am the keeper of the power tools.

 

[they'reHISchickens]

I am so lucky!!! People laugh at my name but they really are his chickens. He feeds them and waters them and gathers his eggs and keeps track of how many of each kind. He's a city boy who is tickled to have chickens in his retirement. What do I do? I am the farmer gal and make the minor management decisions. He says what breeds we get ( major decision) and i say where and when to get them. I say who gets culled and who gets mated and hatched. Last year he decided he wanted a marans flock so I hatched and hatched to build up our 3 marans hens so we would have choices to cull. He stopped me at about 50 total in 5 coops: " I think we have enough now."
We are down to 20 hens. He decided that he doesn't want to breed any orps. We can get them easily from hinksjc and he talks about how he loves watching his big black girls waddling around. He lost his favorite splash orp to heat last summer. Lucky for us I had hatched a few of her eggs so he has two to replace her.
We were going to oust the EEs but he decided he likes a few blue eggs now and then,so we shall see what the 3 young puffycheeks give us.
He entered his marans eggs in the local fair last year and won first prize. He was busting his britches with pride.
Of course, I am also the one who says when it's time to worm and if I tell him one more time which ones are pullets and which are cockerels and which are orps and which are marans..... sigh. Maybe he's just pulling my leg. dang him.
Oh yeah, I also build the coops and go on BYC

 

[Oregon Blues]

One thing that sometimes works on husbands who don't listen. Won't work if he is a control freak and making work for you as a method of emotional abuse, but might work if he is just clueless.

Men like to fix problems. So burst into tears. When he asks what is wrong, sob that you have too much work to do and it is making you exhausted, and if only you could find out a way to make the chickens less work......... Then look at him with hope and admiration in your eyes and turn him loose to figure out how to fix the problem.

You are going to have to put up with whatever he works out as his plan, but marriage is about compromise. You are never going to get things 100% your way. Yikes. He has built coops for you and installed electricity. I think the guy is a peach. Perhaps a peach who needs some management, but look at how many husbands refuse to do any work at home at all. You've got a guy who will build for you. Understand how lucky you are.

Then later, you can bring out the "too much work" tears whenever he wants to buy more chickens. "Oh" Sad look. "More work for me."

Seriously, I hate it. I like honesty and that is manipulation. But sometimes you must do whatever it takes to get through to them. I suspect that some men can't actually hear sounds that fall within the range of a wife's voice.

 

[LegginMF12]

Quote:
Do you have an unmarried older brother??

Believe it or not there are really great men out there. TBG has a rule if one of the partners is not working that partner does 100% of the house work, animal care and cooking. I work full time, he doesn't he cooks, cleans and feeds the animals 90% of the time. I get up in the morning to fresh coffee and a hot breakfast, he often packs me a lunch. My house is spotless! He even does windows. He may be irritating at times but he's MINE MINE MINE!

To the OP: If you are at a place where he wants to get some chickens, let him. When you get home feed and water YOUR chickens. Walk into the house and ask him "are you going to feed and water your chickens"? He should get the hint. If he doesn't, get rid of his chickens, they are not his chickens if you are the one taking care of them, they are your chickens and you do as you see fit. If he tries to make you feel bad about it, explain emotional black mail to him and tell him you will not tolerate it. You need to stand up for yourself. If he is building something for you explain to him what you want and why before the building even starts. If he is not agreeable to it, get someone else to do it for you. Nothing will get a mans attention like having the wife go to another man (whether it be a family friend or a professional builder) to get something done.

 

[redhen]

I guess I understand what you are trying to say here....
But, I see sooo many women on here saying how they have to hide their chickens, and beg their husbands to be allowed to get them..etc..

So many womens husbands wont even help them build the coops and stuff....(what kind of a jack wagon man is that anyways?)
I guess, I'm just suggesting that you be thankful that your husband builds you things.and seems to care about your interests...

I'm super lucky... my husband doesn't really want the chickens (because of all the work they cause him lol)
but he still builds me what I need for them, cleans out the coop

and feeds/waters them daily...
I just have to go outside in the afternoons and check on them and give them treats and a lock them in the coop at night because hes at work.
I should appreciate my husband more too.....

 

[EddieH]

Speaking as a man, I'm wondering if he realizes that he is making things more difficult for you. My wife (Kelly's Chickens) is the one who wants chickens. I just try to make her happy. I build coops. I dig ditches to run electricity and water to coops. I make money so we can spend it on chicken stuff. Sometimes it's difficult to understand what she wants when she attempts to describe her next coop. (BTW, how many is enough?)

Maybe he would be more helpful if he understood that what he is doing is not what you need. Just a thought.

 

[Nitrous]

Start by telling him you love the help he gives you and you really rely on that.

Tell him you need to tell him something and you don't want it to hurt his feelings. (he will immediately be putting up his wall of self defense that can protect him, from emotional harm... this is a GOOD THING) Then tell him what you want him to know.

If you warn him first that you might hurt his feelings, you'd have to just about do it on purpose to get past the wall. He'll be ready and far more able to hear what you have to say.

 

[chicmom]

Do you have an unmarried older brother??

x2

My wife and I have this hobby together and I don't understand why a man, any man would not help out with that kind of chore. Doesn't he know how much other crap you have to do around the house with cleaning, cooking, laundry, bathrooms, dishes.....Holy crap if I had to do my wifes chores for a week the time I spend doing my chicken chores would be nothing.... I feed and water all the animals that is (not to sound like a jerk) the mans job....Not that the wife should do all the chores in the house either, but if you knew how easy it is for me to screw up loading the dishwasher you wouldn't let me do it either.... Anyway I think he should have some if not all a part in taking care of them, and tell him not to install things that make your job harder, unless you ask him to do so.