My leukemia's back.

Phil, I'm sensing a prednisone burst and a Z-pack in your future. You all didn't know I was psychic, didja?

Dr. appt today and everything's going well, except my kidney function is trending upward. Kidneys have been total champs through all this until now. I'm doing fluid challenges this weekend and we'll recheck. But CBC, etc looks great. Making my own blood, and white cells. Yippee!

I did have a hit out of the blue though. Wednesday I planned to leave from work and drive the 4 hours to my Moms, spend the night and come home the next eve. 15 minutes before I left, my supervisor called me to her office. I'd been there 90 days now, and time for a review. Okay, I'm happy. I've put in for a full time position and I'm thinking I'm also going to interview for that.

Nope.

My status was changed from part time to as needed. No input from me. Simply told that, with the new position they're interviewing for (but not interviewing me, apparently), looking down the road they may not need a triage nurse this many hours. So, they're changing my status now. Oh, and I'm slow and need to step things up and be more efficient.

Well, I stew over that while I'm at Moms. Back to work this morning and talk to her again. Now the story changes. The status change wasn't for things happening down the road, it's because she's not happy with my performance. What? I had to ask twice to get things in writing, too. If you're a supervisor and want an employee to improve something, wouldn't you write it down for them to refer to? Anyway, the written is really pretty scathing. I'm apparently just a sucky employee who doesn't communicate, has poor time management skills, no attention to detail, is disorganized, and slow to boot. I feel tired just reading how bad I am. I think I'd really have to put a lot of effort into being that poor an employee.

I'd just been telling my FNP how happy I was back at work. How good it was for me to be back, etc. Now, I'm just not sure. And all tied up in this is us wanting to buy a new house. I'm so upset because I set us back when I took this job, and now with my disability for the boys aging out in 3 years financing could be tricky. So, I'd sure appreciate a prayer for peace and guidance.

On a good note, a friend literally happened upon a very striking blue copper Marans rooster to go with my ladies. Brought him home tonight, we'll see how things go tomorrow.

And on a "Thank you Lord that's not me" note, a close friend just found out she's pregnant. Five months pregnant. She's 40 years old, her youngest is 11 and not only did her husband have a vasectomy, she had an IUD. Baby girl looks good on ultrasound and the IUD isn't an issue, so that's good. But that must be one little girl God really, really wants born, right?
 
Racheal....a burst for sure.....breathing is getting scary now....i was in town yesterday and thought it was okay....well it's not and it's now a long holiday weekend and i have no access to a Doctor.....so i will ride it out with a bumped up prednisone munchy fest.
I have always expressed my opinion that i didn't think you should go back to work....God gave you this time.....you are not even close to back to your old self. There is no way i could have gone back to work after less than a year post transplant. You gonna be okay?
I understand why you want to work i miss out so much sometimes it depresses the heck out of me.....there are s few people on other threads who think i have it made....but they aren't sitting here right now gasping for air....and dropping 150 mg of morphine everyday just to function. And while I can go fishing and work in my garden or whatever i want it's not the same as being part of something.
Racheal....your health and wellbeing are the most important things you need to be working on. Because without those what do you have?
 
Rachel,
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. Phil,
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. My thoughts are with the both of you.
 
Good morning everyone.

Phil, take care of yourself and get to the doc as soon as you can.
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Rachel, how surprising that must have been! I cannot imagine where this person is coming from with such a review. Maybe it is more of a personality clash than performance driven? I'm so sorry you're in this position, try not to let her comments get you down (not easy I know). You know how hard you've worked and the true value of what you've done.
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I get the idea of a 90 day review. What I don't get is why these 'deficiencies' haven't been pointed out to you previously so that you might have addressed them.
 

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