My leukemia's back.

[Blooie]

Interesting what the conversation is here this afternoon. I had a granddaughter over today for her birthday. Haven't seen her in a while. Her dad, my son, isn't married to her mom. In fact, he just married a gal he's been with for years. Something happened the last time she spent time with them. They live 5 hrs. away. Won't get into details, but it's heart breaking that she is not able to go see her dad now. I had a talk with her mom, she says it's up to dad now as to how this works out. Guess I need to talk to him. Crazy. Feels like I'm listening to High School..stuff.. :/ Anyway, glad I get to see her..she's a doll. 12 years old today. Holding Ashton. They came over to sing Happy Birthday and eat some cake. View attachment 1593043

She's gorgeous, and looks so happy holding my little cyber-nephew! Happy birthday, young lady! Things often have a way of working out, especially when Gramma is in your corner!

 

[LittleLakePhil]

Well it seems my no-count family has posted it on FB that my SIL is dying! I cannot understand WHY they must LIE ABOUT everything!!!!! She does not need this, we do not need this! sorry folks I have to vent, otherwise I may melt down and do something that'll end up wearing silver bracelets and with a roommate named bubba or tiny....

I hate drama.... sorry.

 

[LittleLakePhil]

Long, probably boring post here. Skip, skim, or read, it’s fine with me.

I miss my daughter Terrin every day. She was amazing....she’d light up a room just by walking into it. She was smart, pretty, talented, and an extraordinary singer/songwriter/guitarist, even recorded a CD in a well known studio. Her laugh made everyone else laugh, even if we hadn’t heard the joke.

But as wonderful as she was, that Terrin is gone. One of the hardest things I’ve ever done was sitting in a courtroom with 6 year old Little Diane and 11 year old Jamie, holding tightly to their hands as the judge heard the child abandonment and neglect case against their mom, in all the horrid details, as our caseworker and the prosecutor spoke. And for them to hear him rule her as an unfit mother about broke their little hearts, and mine.

Borderline Personality Disorder, especially combined an with anti-social diagnosis, is something I wouldn’t wish on any family. It’s ugly and destructive, and there’s nothing you can do to fix it. Once a lie is out of their mouths, they believe it for the rest of their lives and nothing anyone can say will sway them. “They” always say that all it takes to raise happy, healthy children is love and your attention. Well, if love and attention were enough, I wouldn’t even be talking about this. My bright, energetic, talented daughter morphed at around 13 into a unknown creature who attacked me with a knife, caused untold sleepless nights when she’d run away or threaten to harm herself, attacked teachers, and lived to hurt others with words or actions. Kenny and Tammy suffered the most, I think. Everything we had financially, emotionally, timewise, and all of our energy was siphoned away from them and given to Terrin, and still it wasn’t enough. Tam didn’t even tell us that she had been installed as secretary of the National Honor Society at school because she said that every time she succeeded, Terrin would go into what we called one of her “dark periods” and make our home a living hell until she was hospitalized again. Tam was right, it did. We had a psychiatrist at one time advise that we make her a ward of the state so we could get on with our own lives. Just couldn’t do it.

Over the years we’d start new, but it always ends up the same way. When I had my heart attack two years ago, I got a text from her after not hearing from her in two years. It wasn’t concerned and supportive. The first line was, “I’m throwing the bull___ card.” followed by the ugliest, most profane texts you can imagine. She’s thrown us out of her life more times than I can count, then we’ll get a message from her that she loves and misses us. Ken and the other 2 kids wrote her off years ago, but the mommy part of me just couldn’t let her go.

Terrin is the definition of toxic to everyone around her. She’s had 5 husbands, lost her kids, her siblings, her dad and her nieces and nephews. The last time I saw her was when we took Kendra back to Sioux Falls so the rest of the family could meet her, and so she could be the flower girl at Little Diane’s wedding. Kenny and Jenny weren’t concerned about Kendra’s medical care or the 700 mile drive. But they were concerned about Terri being with Kendra at the wedding and reception. I had to assure a Kenny that she would spend no more time with her aunt than was socially necessary. I think I took 2 photos of them together.

I just got a text from her when we were on this last trip, after hearing nothing for ages again. She asked if she could bring boyfriend here for Christmas. He’d be hubby #6 if he lasts that long. God forgive me, I told her “no.” Who knows, it might have gone very well. But if it went the way of most family events go when she’s there, including Little Diane’s wedding, a beautiful family celebration would be totally ruined for everybody. When I asked the kids, they said that it was up to me - they’d try. It was hearing the resignation and even fear in their voices that made me say no. Christmas is supposed to be about the Good Lord’s birth, family, and reconciliation. Am I wrong for not wanting any more reconciliations at this point?

Sorry hon.....

 

[bruceha2000]

I had a talk with her mom, she says it's up to dad now as to how this works out. Guess I need to talk to him.

I hope they can work it out, whatever it is!

Well it seems my no-count family has posted it on FB that my SIL is dying! I cannot understand WHY they must LIE ABOUT everything!!!!! She does not need this, we do not need this! sorry folks I have to vent, otherwise I may melt down and do something that'll end up wearing silver bracelets and with a roommate named bubba or tiny....

Ain't social media great. No way to counteract their FB posts. Don't know how many common acquaintances will see that and start sending condolences to your SIL. Hopefully she won't read their FB posts in the future. She can rely on you and other supportive family to help her get over this. And then she can just ignore the others for the next few decades util they die before she does.

There's just no fixing stupid old rooster.

Um, that would read better as:
"There's just no fixing stupid COMMA Old Rooster"

Am I wrong for not wanting any more reconciliations at this point?

Not in the slightest, your heart has been broken so many times already.

Don’t ask why I’ve never done it before - I’d have no answer for you that makes any sense.

What the others said. Mother, always hopeful. Hard to give up.

 

[Cynthia12]

Found these...

View attachment 1593047
Terrin and Kendra before the wedding. Not a flattering shot of either of them.

View attachment 1593049
Terrin and Little Diane after the wedding. They look a lot alike, don't they?

View attachment 1593050
Terrin and Kendra at the reception.

View attachment 1593048
And just because....the cutest little flower girl in the history of weddings.

 

[Alaskan]

Well it seems my no-count family has posted it on FB that my SIL is dying! I cannot understand WHY they must LIE ABOUT everything!!!!! She does not need this, we do not need this! sorry folks I have to vent, otherwise I may melt down and do something that'll end up wearing silver bracelets and with a roommate named bubba or tiny....

That would have me up in arms! So sorry... and vent here as much as you like. I have no interest in hearing that you ended up in jail.

Am I wrong for not wanting any more reconciliations at this point

Not at all.

Just a nightmare.

And yeah... I too hate the "if you had only done X your kids wouldn't have that problem"

I HATE that!!!

 

[N F C]

Good morning Team Rachel, hope it's a good one for you all

@Cynthia12 lovely picture, thank you for sharing it!

 

[bruceha2000]

You should still be asleep Debby.

 

[N F C]

You should still be asleep Debby.

I could say the same to you Bruce!

 

[bruceha2000]

True but it IS 2 hours "later" here.