My leukemia's back.

[Alaskan]

Sorry it was cloudy, and you didn't get to see it. The moon was big, bright, and silvery, then one edge began to change, turning red. Slowly, like an ink blotter soaking up ink, the red began spreading out, and in a bit the entire moon was red. By then, we were getting cold, so we didn't watch it turn silver again, but about 45 minutes later I went and looked. It was silver again.

All of us out there on a cold night, watching events in the sky, brought back memories of me, and my grandmother. There was a tv show here, called Star Hustler, later Star Gazer, that was done by a professor at the local University. Each week he would tell of events that would be going on in the sky, that were visible with the naked eye. No telescope needed.

Whenever there were extra special events like comets, eclipses, planets at their most visible, etc., we would usually watch together. We were usually the only ones willing to brave the night hours, and/or cold to watch. I'd usually go to her house a little before the event, and drag a couple chairs out, and set them pointing in the right direction. She would make hot chocolate. We'd then go out, and watch the sky, and drink our chocolate.

Thank you for sharing.

I just looked out the window.... and all i saw was a super bright night, the sky full of lit up clouds. I couldn't even tell in what section of the sky that moon might have been.

 

[Blooie]

None of my grandmothers ever drove. My mom didn’t either. I didn’t care one whit about her mother, my maternal Grandmother. She was mean and nasty and her feelings toward me were, frankly, unforgivable. My whole childhood she referred to me as “the accident”. I clearly remember playing outside with my cousin and sister, under the open kitchen window and hearing, “Linda is just a pretty little girl. I think Diane looks and talks like she does because she was an accident”. (I stuttered) Ma knew I heard but didn’t say anything until we were on our way home. Then she said that Grandma always treated her just the way she treated me and she explained that she had learned the hard way never to disagree with Grandma. She was actually Ma’s stepmom, and never let poor Ma forget it. In retrospect, though, I think that was a good thing. It may have had something to do with how well blended our family was....Ma had remarried Dad, and Linda and I were never, ever referred to as his stepchildren. When they started having kids there was no half-sibling garbage. It simply wasn’t allowed within the family or by the extended family so it faded away as if it would never have existed. When that Grandmother died in the late 90s, I didn’t even go to her service.

Oh, but Gramma Grace.. She was my idol - loved her so completely! She just died a few years ago, just 6 months short of her 104th birthday. She had 13 kids, 3 sets of twins and only one girl, my first dad’s twin sister.

My dad died, (ironically considering the history of this page), of leukemia. But all of her other kids are still living and active, and I love them all. I am actually on Facebook with some of them. Gramma was 100% sharp right up until she just dozed off one evening and didn’t wake up. The only medication she had was the eye drops for her glaucoma, nothing else. At 90 she was playing Santa Claus in the Care Center. Went to see her when she was 95 and she was in a wheelchair! Ken asked her why, and she said,”Nothing to worry about. I twisted my knee bowling and they want me in here until it gets better.” That was my beloved Gramma Grace. She knew the names and birth months (not exact dates, but always the months) of all of her grandkids, great-grandkids, and many of the great-greats. The local paper did a fun interview with Gramma for her 100th birthday. Her memories and ability to chatter and laugh had not diminished one bit from my earliest memories of her. I have a totally overflowing treasure chest of memories of her and Grampa.

When my time on this wonderful place ends, I want my grandchildren sharing memories of me with their friends just as we’ve done here. I want sentences to begin, “Hey, remember when Gramma......”

I am so glad you guys brought up this topic and shared your thoughts and memories. Sometimes we get so busy rushing forward we forget to look back and see those still helping us with the journey.

 

[bruceha2000]

Another great story for Blooie's book!

My whole childhood she referred to me as “the accident”.

Given you've told the story of your mother and biological father, this is ever more painful. No accident. I'm so happy you had Gramma Grace! She was aptly named.

 

[Blooie]

Another great story for Blooie's book!


Given you've told the story of your mother and biological father, this is ever more painful. No accident. I'm so happy you had Gramma Grace! She was aptly named.

Thank you, Bruce. But we do learn a little from the adults around us, and from her I learned quickly never to say anything ugly that could ever be heard by a child. She can't hurt me anymore - I'm not sure she ever really could even back then, because I had Ma and Dad, Linda, Lori, Ron and Bev to keep me grounded.

Here's just one example of a lesson I learned from her and put into practice. We were out shopping for Christmas. There was Linda, Lori and me. We stopped in at our favorite family diner, The Fryin' Pan, for dinner. When we were seated, I was facing a family with one absolutely beautiful little boy and what had to be the homeliest little girl I think I'd seen since I was her age, which must have been about 7. She sat there quietly, just waiting and looking down at her plate. So as they looked like they were getting ready to leave, I walked the three or four steps over to their table. Only when I got close to her did I realize that the freckles on her face formed almost a butterfly pattern. I knew what the look in her eye meant as she quickly glanced at her little brother and then back at me with suspicion. She knew that old, "Oh, he's just a little doll" thing was coming.

I crouched down in front of that sweet little girl and said, "You make your little red dress look so happy, because it belongs to a very special little lady. Your brother is a lucky little boy to have you. When he's bigger, he's going to look at the butterfly on your nose and cheeks and smile because it means he's with someone he loves." Linda swore afterward that she saw the mom wipe a tear, but I didn't see it and Linda was a sentimental thing anyway so she may well have imagined it. I did see the smile on the parents' faces, though. Linda told me after they left, "I know why you did that. I used to hear Grandma too. I love you."

So no bad without some good. You just have to learn to look for it.

 

[getaclue]

Blooie, I don't really have many good memories of my mother's side of the family. They were/are the proverbial sows' ears pretending to be silk purses. They were/are dysfunctional trash. While my mother learned to be much better, and could pretend better, she still had those dysfunctional, trashy roots that she never fully overcame. My mother had her good points, especially with others, but not as much with me or my brother when we were younger. She did better when we were grown.

Back then, children were not allowed to disrespect their elders. Like you said, we had to bite our tongues, and endure. The only time I can think of that I disrespected her family was when we adopted my brother. We brought him home from the adoption agency, and they came over. They foundered over me, which was a first, but wouldn't even look at him. I don't really think my parents knew how to handle it. I took care of it. I told her family to come look at my new baby brother. They indicated they didn't really want to. I told them to get out of our house. I dug my heels in, and pitched a fit for all I was worth. There was no consoling me. I didn't get into trouble. My parents told them it might be best for them to go, since it had been a very emotional day for me.

My dad was smart, stable, and easy going. I adored my grandmother, on his side. She was like that too. We were extremely close. Something that comes to mind, when she died, I had been taking care of her at my home. My parents were in California, and had been for several months. I began calling family members to let them know she had died. One of my aunts that lived closest to me, got in her car immediately, and drove to my house. Apparently the consensus throughout the family was that, because I had been so close to her all my life, I was going to be totally devastated by her passing, and would flip out. They all came pouring in as quick as they could get to me. What they didn't know was that she had prepared me for the eventuality of her death. I didn't flip out. To be totally honest, it didn't really hit me at first. I was sort of numb, and going through the motions, but going through the motions kept me anchored.

I am still close with several cousins on both sides of the family. Somehow, a few of them on my mother's side managed to overcome a lot of their upbringing. The ones that didn't, none of us associate with.

 

[Alaskan]

They all came pouring in as quick as they could get to me.

Nice to know that they cared enough about you to want to help.

 

[Blooie]

Nice to know that they cared enough about you to want to help.

Absolutely!

 

[sourland]

@getaclue, I totally get it.

Good morning, Team Rachel.

 

[oldrooster]

Morning all, GAC sounds like we have similar evil family. But unfortunately my mom refused to let me know dads side of the family. In fact when I was inn 6th grade my teacher wanted me to practice my handwriting to improve it. My thought was to kill two birds with one stone write my dad's siblings, their children and grand children (dad was 42 when I was born his oldest sibling was born 25 years before him, he would have been 67 had he lived so yes my cousins had kids older than me) but mom said that I was only related to "her" family I asked if my dad was my father, or if he was adopted no was the answer to both. She simply did not want me to know his family. I later learned her brothers and sisters had similar ideas it was their family or none at all. meaning you were related to that family if you married your spouse had to the same as disown their families unless they were from the area my mom's family was from because I guess everyone in their area growing up is superior genetically to the rest of the world...

 

[Blooie]

Check this out... this happened all through the day yesterday. Kendra would wander off, get herself a drink or a snack, then head right back in to where her buddy was. Any lingering doubt about Fiona hurting Kendra or Kendra hurting Fee is gone now.