My leukemia's back.

Good morning my friends, I was just talking to my sister and her husband has to have surgery next week to remove a bone spur that is pressing on his spinal cord up in his 2nd/3rd vertebrae. He is in severe pain, his legs are going numb and he is terrified of having this surgery. I told her that I would ask for prayers for him.
Bone spurs are a fairly easy operation. I had an operation for spinal stenosis that was a bit more involved but still easy. It was amazing how much better the pain was and has been for the last 11 years
 
My B-I-L is a huge worrier - i have never met anyone who can find so many things to worry about. He won't take any Opiods for the pain, because he is afraid they will make him a meth addict...
According to sis, this will probably just be the first operation - he has lost most of the cartilage between the 2/3 and 3/4 vertebrae, so he will probably need to have a surgery to fix that.
His Insurance denied the surgery about 3 months ago, and required Physical Therapy first. He is in so much pain from the PT and trying to work his job at the same time. He works home construction. the Therapist yelled at him and told him that he should not be working while doing PT, he asked if PT would pay his mortgage, No, then I need to work.
 
Yes, PT is required before insurance will approve the surgery. Dd #2 had to go through that, even though the doctor, and the physical therapist knew ahead of time it would not work. Once she got past the PT, and it did not work, they paid for her surgery.
 
My B-I-L is a huge worrier - i have never met anyone who can find so many things to worry about. He won't take any Opiods for the pain, because he is afraid they will make him a meth addict...
According to sis, this will probably just be the first operation - he has lost most of the cartilage between the 2/3 and 3/4 vertebrae, so he will probably need to have a surgery to fix that.
His Insurance denied the surgery about 3 months ago, and required Physical Therapy first. He is in so much pain from the PT and trying to work his job at the same time. He works home construction. the Therapist yelled at him and told him that he should not be working while doing PT, he asked if PT would pay his mortgage, No, then I need to work.
On top of PT, they are often requiring spinal patients to try nerve ablation. If if that works, it is temporary since the pain nerves grow back! and that will not remove the bone spurs...Insurance is quite silly!

If he wants to get the surgery faster, claim incontinence or trouble going to the bathroom
 
My mother was dying of cancer (it spread) and refused to take her morphine pills because she didn't want to become an addict. That was my mother the worrier ,in a nutshell.
Thankfully I didn't inherit a full dose of worrier-itis from her. Mainly I worry about other people and wish I could heal them someway. Too much empathy can be painful to the person with it. Ask me.
 
My mother was dying of cancer (it spread) and refused to take her morphine pills because she didn't want to become an addict. That was my mother the worrier ,in a nutshell.
Thankfully I didn't inherit a full dose of worrier-itis from her. Mainly I worry about other people and wish I could heal them someway. Too much empathy can be painful to the person with it. Ask me.
I can see this in you Nancy. You are a very caring person.
 
My mother was a worrier too. My dad was not. As a child, I was a worried a lot, but when I got out on my own, I quit most of my worrying. Dd #1 tends to be a worrier. Dh was not a big worrier when I met him, but more recently he seems to worry more and more.

Something I've noticed about worriers, based on how I used to be, is that they've let their worrying become a habit. It starts with a legitimate worry, or two, but when the reason for worrying is over with, instead of letting go, the worry is transferred to something else, creating a habit.

When I was going through a serious situation, I had a friend that knew what was going on, and kept me informed of what was going on. It kept me constantly upset. A lady that knew me, and knew my situation was serious, but knew the friend was keeping me upset, had a talk with me. She let me know that information had to be categorized into one of three categories. 1. Important, and/or useful for now. Use the information. 2. Potentially important, and/or useful for later. Remember the information. 3. Not useful, nothing I can do about it. Let it go. It took practice, but over time, I could let go of the worthless information that only served the purpose of keeping me upset. Again, it took practice.

I used a similar technique about worrying, with an exception. The exception was that I scheduled worry time. It's ridiculous to let worry eat up too much time. I allowed myself 1 hour of worry time in the afternoon. Never schedule worry time before bedtime. During that hour, I would categorize my worries. 1. Can I do something about it now? If so, what? Do it. 2. Can I do something about it later? If so, what? Start getting things in place, and get the ball rolling. 3. Is it something I've dealt with, and need to let it go? Is it something I have no control over, and/or can't do anything about it? Let it go. Sometimes you can't just let it go. At that point, acknowledge you need to get rid of that concern, and either pray over it, then release it, OR if you don't pray, release it to the universe.

Over time, and with practice, these things eventually become automatic. Something else I've noticed. People that are worried, tend to play the What-if game more, and usually stack the deck of what-if's on the negative side, without balance, which is just another bottomless rabbit hole. I don't know if the brain releases a chemical when a person worries, that becomes addictive, or if there is already a chemical that is there which causes it, or what. I don't really care. What I care about is dealing with things as they arise, doing the best I can about the things I can, and letting go of them once dealt with, or letting go of the things I had no control over to begin with.
 
@getaclue Such and excellent post! It is all so true. I wish I could get my BIL to read it and understand. My sister too.

I talked to my sis on the phone the other night and had a short coughing spell from a cold that is finally starting to taper off. She made me promise to make an appointment to see the doctor - her reason: our Dad had a dry cough for over 3 months before going to the doctor and finding out it was heart trouble. Now she is worrying that I am going to die of a heart attack.
 

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