My Totally Gross but Maybe Funny if it Didn't Happen to You Story

[lomine]

I should not have read this thread at work. Tried very hard not to laugh out loud - didn't quite make it. Nobody walked by so I didn't find myself having to explain why I was laughing. I'm only 1 year into duckie ownership so I don't have any especially good poop stories (yet). Thanks for sharing!

It's only a matter of time. We all get pooped on eventually. BTW, I like your avatar picture.

 

[room onthebroom]

I've noticed my Welsh Harlequin hen, Petunia, acting a bit odd the last few days. She wasn't with the others for most of the day and only showed up at night to be let in the coop. I had the suspicion she was going broody and had a nest somewhere. I did go looking for a hidden clutch on Saturday but with acres of land for them to roam it's hard to find their hiding places.

Last night she wasn't waiting to be let in the coop. I strapped on my headlamp and grabbed a plastic container with mealworms. I walked around my property looking under every tree and bush while shaking the container and calling, "Hey duck-duck." The barn cat decided to join me on my search and dutifully followed behind. Luckily she did because as I was heading away from one area, I heard hissing coming from behind me. I turned my light toward the sound and there was Petunia siting on a nest in the tall grass hissing at the cat. I picked her up and we made our way back to the coop.

It was about a 350 foot walk from her nesting spot to the coop. She was objecting the whole way but stayed calm and took mealworms when offered. We were less than 20 feet from the coop door when Petunia decided she needed to relieve herself. For those of you who have never dealt with a broody duck I will attempt to describe the smell of a broody duck poop. Image that you collect all the poop your duck produced in a day, then add some vomit, then take the whole mess and microwave it for 30 seconds. Take that awful, gag-inducing smell and multiple it by 10 and you have the smell of a broody duck poop. I mean this smell is right up there with skunk spray.

Now it wouldn't have been so bad if it was just the smell. It was cool last night so I wore my sweat pants. Sweat pants have loose pockets. You see where I'm going here. Somehow she managed to land her giant, noxious poo right in my pants pocket. I could feel the warm, wet mass starting to soak into the fabric. Guess what else was in my pocket. The thing I always carry with me in case I have an accident since I live alone. That's right. My phone was in my pocket.

After putting Petunia in the coop, I slowly removed my phone from my pocket. The foul, chunky excrement had landed right on the bottom edge of the phone. Thank goodness I had brought a new roll of paper towels to the barn the weekend before. I spent a good deal of time cleaning my phone and the case. I had to search for something small enough to dig out the speaker holes. The phone seems undamaged but it has a slight odor to it still. The case absorbed that putrid stink and no amount of soap, hard scrubbing, or soaking could get it out. I have ordered a new phone case. I also decided to finally order a UV phone sanitizer I've been eyeing for a while. I really hope I don't get a lot of phone calls in the next couple days.

OMG! I'm sorry, but I'm dying laughing over here! I'll remember this story the next time someone hands me their cell phone & I'll make sure I use extra anti bac.

 

[room onthebroom]

if it's as bad as you say maybe gasoline and a match would be better.

You guys are killing me!

 

[Raptorchick]

Omylord this whole thread, that was a good laugh Reminds me tho, to add to the poop shenanigans... My mom and I built our coops together, incubated eggs together, our chicken adventures were miles apart but happened at the same time. One day I found my hen Duchess sitting alone in the coop. I knew something was wrong, but being new to chickens was horrible at guessing, and I had read on byc that a nice bath sometimes perks them up. She loved the bath, it turned out the roo hurt her leg, hes pretty big. Anyways, the next day my mom calls me, says one of her hens also wouldn't leave the coop and was acting funny, making strange sounds and all puffed up. We were so clueless back then... I told her about my hen, that I gave her a nice soak and massage and all was better. So my mom takes her hen to her bathroom, and before she set her down, the hen let loose. All over my mom, her sink counter, the bathroom rugs, omygoodness she really had to go Next thing I know my phone is going off, she's sending me pictures, and I couldn't stop laughing ... oh the things you learn lol...

 

[staceyj]

The case is a lost cause. I also tried my peppermint soap to see if it would help mask the smell. Now it smells like poop and peppermint. Not good. Not good at all.

I haven’t read all the way to the end yet, but if you put your case in a ziplock bag of dry baking soda over night it should help a lot.

Also if you take your phone to a phone repair store they can actually clean it for you and it shouldn’t cost an arm and a leg.

 

[Alabama Fly]

I haven’t read all the way to the end yet, but if you put your case in a ziplock bag of dry baking soda over night it should help a lot.

Also if you take your phone to a phone repair store they can actually clean it for you and it shouldn’t cost an arm and a leg.

 

[Alabama Fly]

I'd like to be a fly on the wall of that phone repair store.

 

[RodNTN]

Good going, Petunia!

 

[lomine]

I'd like to be a fly on the wall of that phone repair store.

 

[lomine]

I haven’t read all the way to the end yet, but if you put your case in a ziplock bag of dry baking soda over night it should help a lot.

Also if you take your phone to a phone repair store they can actually clean it for you and it shouldn’t cost an arm and a leg.

Good ideas. The UV sanitizer was only $30 something though. I've been thinking about getting one for a while anyway, since most phones are pretty germy without any help from broody ducks. I know it will get used often. The odor has actually subsided since yesterday but is still noticeable. A replacement case was only $13 so it's not really worth trying to save the stinky one. Plus, even if I did get the smell out, I would still know it had been covered in poo at one point in time.