My very first RANT!!

[birdnutz]

This is just driving me crazy! I worked 13 1 /2 hours yesterday with an 1 1/2 hour drive time. This is what I see this morning. My son and his wife came over last night while I was at work with their 2 children.

My DIL and I don't get along at all. If you think this is bad you should see her house. She don't work (can't seem to hold a job) Wants to be a full time house wife. She believes her duties end at taking care of the kids. When she's not sleeping that is. My son is an apprentice electrician and works 10 hour days. But his home duties are dishes,garbage and laundry. If he doesn't get his done she won't do hers.
When she does work,1 in 3 1/2 years of marriage. Any money she earns is HERS. It's his responsibilty to pay bills. She was fired at her last job because every time the boss told her to do something she'd argue with her. Now just imagine what happens at home for my son. She's bi-polar and refuses to take meds. I personally believe she has border line personality disorder. Their phones got cut off yesterday. He told me that he was glad. She calls him every 15 minutes while he's working. If he don't answer it he has her screaming at him when he gets home. The only reason he stays is for the kids. He's scared that she'll get the kids (very good probability in Wyoming). Right now he says that at least he provides buffer for them.

 

[PotterWatch]

So that room was clean before and they just left it like that? I would be steamed too!

 

[AHappychick]

oh that is horrible! the room looks like my sons after about 30 seconds! but not after I am done cleaning it. I cant believe she left it that way for you to clean.

It sounds like your son is in a tough place I wish I had suggestions. If it would make you feel better I would happily tell you how rotten my in laws are and I bet you would at least smile for a second but that is a 10 page rant for sure and I am sure no one is interested lol

Maybe she is so spoiled she would not want the kids? Maybe she would let him have them if they separated?

 

[birdnutz]

The only thing not done was the bed made. But the bedding was folded on the bed. I'm wanting to shampoo the carpet. The kids also dumped chicken feed all over my computer room floor.( I have some seramas in there.)
I'll give her some credit. She told my DH she would dump the ash tray but the garbage sack was full. So he pulled it and still had to dump it himself.

Ahappy chick, thats what I think would happen. They've seperated before and she always brings them back. But then my lunk head son feels guilty and invites her to stay also.
Did I mention she's destructive when in a rage. She's pulled cabinet doors off and thrown things.Then she cuts herself. Threatens to kill herself all the time. She's been into counselors since she was 14 years old. Thats the age when she pushed her Mom down and started stomping on her. Of course he found all this out after the marriage. She idealizes her Dad that beat her Mom and went to prison for dealing drugs.She wants to be just like him.

 

[baldie]

I guess I would be upset, but not too much. If its your sons kids then wouldn't that make them your grandchildren? I would probably look at the mess and think wow my grandkids had fun!! Thats good. I would be upset that the mom didnt pick up the mess, but how old are the children?

 

[Katy]

I'd be upset at both my son and DIL that they left the mess behind!!

 

[Buster]

Why are they invading your home while you are gone? I wouldn't think to take my kids to my parents' house while they are gone and let them run wild.

 

[birdnutz]

I'm not upset about my grand kids. I understand that they were just having fun. And yes it's both of them. The kids are 4 and 2. Real cuties!
My DH was home. They know that he won't say anything about picking up. Wouldn't want to create waves.

 

[luvzmybabz]

My kids go to their Great Grandma's at least once a week, They KNOW ( 5 year and 2 1/2 ) that before they leave grandma's every toy, piece of paper of anything out of place that touched their hands had better be back in place. Our playroom at home right now looks like the first picture, ( I do taxes and get swamped this Time of year ) but NEVER at anyone else's house would that mess be left period.

Has the DIL been diagnosed with BI-Polar and refuses meds? Your son may very well get the kids if this is true. It is so hard to live a life with someone you no longer care for just for the kids sake and sooner or later the kids feel the unhappiness and will blame themselves.

Sorry this reply seems harsh but it is not like you do not have enough on your plate. I have family that would come over and do that purposely, yeah they are not invited often maybe 2 times a year.

 

[Buster]

Quote:
Ok, that makes more sense but if I were you I'd set some ground rules. I wouldn't ever leave my parents' house looking like that.