My writing - for my school

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by Lothiriel, Dec 30, 2008.

  1. Lothiriel

    Lothiriel Overrun With Chickens Premium Member

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    Aug 30, 2007
    New York State
    My Coop
    Hi all,
    Just thought I'd share some of my writing homework. I'm homeschooled, and I'm going through The Lively Art of Writing by Lucile Vaughan Payne.
    I'll quote them so you can tell what they are.

    TOPIC: Free-Ranging Chickens
    You're standing by the shelves of eggs in the supermarket, trying to decide whether to get the regular kind you always get, or try those beautiful brown eggs in the carton that says, "Free-Range." It's a tough desicion. Here's one more option: raise your own. That way you know what's been put into them and you can even free-range, if you have the space. Raising your own chickens can be a wonderful experience. Free-ranging them can add to it. Letting the birds forage can result in huge golden yolks in jumbo sized shells, full of wonderful nutrients and lots of Omega-3s. Free-ranging chickens will also add to their lifetime - unless you or something else decides to use them for meat. It will allow your birds to be healthy and follow their instincts on when to hide from predators, such as hawsk, fokes, racoons, and weasels. So why don't you give it a try? You'll love the rewards.

    TOPIC: Deserted Section of a City
    Nobody lives here. It's deserted, except for a few stray cats and dogs that inhabit its broken buildings. The dogs' barks give evidence that they are around, while the remains of mice and rats left by feline claws vouch for the cats. Graffiti stains old crumbling brick walls and the underside of a cement bridge. The colors of red, black, and white ran together before drying, creating a sick-looking shade, somewhere between purple and gray. The bridge is of cement, disintegrating in many places. It was blocked off years ago, preventing any traffic from driving across.
    In the distance, the noise of the city still goes on - horns blowing, tires screeching. At closer range, but still far away, someone is listening to punk rock, with the volume turned way up. Distant shouts give their input to the talk of the city, and up above a flock of pigeons coos and whirs its many wings in flight.
    Down below them a lone teenaged kid slouches against a wall, his old baseball cap turned with the bill to the side. He wears a ratty hooded sweatshirt and old blue jeans that look ten sizes too big. Around his feet ancient garbage rots and sends off a sickening stench.
    It's not only around him though. The garbage is everywhere, and the big gray-green dumpsters are without covers, their contents spewing over their sides. These smelly disposal bins stand near an enormous gray cement building. It is tall, but compared to the skyscraper that rises from the distance over its roof, it is but a toy house. The many windows in its walls are dirty - what's left of them. They are mostly shattered, with sharp edges protruding meanly from the frames.
    At the base of this building the sidewalk and pavement are left. Both have been broken into fragments, but stubbornly remain in their places. The pavement is pitted with potholes that are filled with stagnant water. Along the edges bent roadsigns remain to tell of better days.

    Well, that's it for now. Hope you enjoy! For the second one, let me know if you can see what I am trying to describe, and any pointers/suggestions for both will be appreciated!! [​IMG]

    ~Heather​
     
    Last edited: Dec 30, 2008
  2. WriterofWords

    WriterofWords Has Fainting Chickens

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    Dec 25, 2007
    Chaparral, New Mexico
    Boy trying to read like a normal person and not a teacher is hard!! Very descriptive I enjoyed both. The second one sounds like part of an inner-city scene where the neighborhoods on the outskirts of the city have been abandoned by most people and are in ruin or decline.
     
  3. English Chick

    English Chick English Mum

    Jun 27, 2008
    Cheshire UK
    I enjoyed reading these Heather.....story number two reminds me somewhat of an area that has seen war and bloodshed......and the lone teenage ..an orphan?.......and that the people that remain in the other part of the city don't want anyone getting across the bridge to infiltrate their community.......in time all that will remain in the deserted part of town will be Mother Nature herself as her will to survive will conquer all.......

    Good story is there more?
     

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