I've got an "issue" that I need some advice on how to get over. Before I go into what happened, I'll say that I know that the people in life, family, aren't going to change. They are who they are, and no matter how badly I would like them to act differently, 99.9% sure it isn't going to happen, husband included. I just wish I could figure out how to move on from this, kind of "forgive, but not forget" type thing. Anyways, here's what happened: I was born with Degenerative Bilateral Osteoarthritis of the hips, or in simpler terms, Hip Displaysia. In 2007, I underwent a minor surgery to kind of help clean up the arthritis and repair the cartilage in the then, one bad hip. This didn't end up working much. So, back in June of 2011, I had my right hip replaced. It was a long time coming, as I had been in chronic pain for many years. This was the first major surgery I had ever had to endure, so needless to say, even though I was excited to get the ball rolling, I was scared. For clarification, the hospital I was at was about a 45 minute drive for my hubby's side of the family, considerably less for mine. I'm pretty close, or at least on pretty good terms, with hubby's side of the family. This consists of his parents, and his brother and sil and family. I'm pretty close with my dad, who has helped me out considerably financially and emotionally over the past couple of years. I get along with my mom, but we aren't terribly close, and I'm even less close with my brother and sil, though on pretty decent terms, as well. I was in the hospital for four days, so not an "in and out" type procedure. Aside from my dad, and my hubby and kids, no one came to visit me. My dad brought me a card, and hubby and kids brought some nice flowers and the girls made cards, which was really nice. As for everyone else, no visit, calls, cards or flowers. I got a text from my mom the second day I was there, only because my husband called her to let her know how the surgery went. She didn't even remember I was having surgery. I got texts from my mil and fil too, which was nice. Nothing from my brother, nothing from my sister (who lives out of state, and I get along great with) and nothing from hubby's brother or sil. I was a little hurt, but not surprised. My dad was P**SSED at my brother and sister, and lets just say that my sister texted me the third day I was in there, lol. My brother didn't call for a week to see how I was. Hubby's brother and sil never said one word about my surgery, to me or anyone. I even saw them within two weeks after the surgery, at a 4'th of July parade, with a walker in hand! Again, a little hurt, but not surprised. Fast forward to Dec of 2011, when I get the second hip done. This time around, my dad, of course comes by (bringing a balloon and card). My sister did send me lots of texts, which was really nice.My mom texted me a few times.This time around, hubby brings kids, no card, no flowers, and seems agitated that he even has to be there. To make matters worse, he takes a call from his dad, while he is supposed to be visiting me. I sarcastically make slightly loud comments of "how rude it is to take a call when he is supposed to be visiting his wife in the hospital.) I was laughing, saying it jokingly (though I meant it) He has a 10 min phone call, then gets off his phone all mad at me for being rude! Fatigued from surgery and on pain meds, didn't help me from getting really upset over this. When I finally get to go home, I let loose and tell my husband how upset I am with everyone, except dad and my sister. He tells me that family did ask him how I was doing, but why didn't they call, text or even send a card. He visited them before seeing me, they could of sent one with him. I told him that he of all people could of brought me a card or flowers, superficial maybe, but sheesh, I was in the hospital. Its ok to dote on your wife during these situations, right?! The least he could of done was silence his phone, and call his dad back when he was done visiting. He apologized to me, for what he had done, and sympathized with me with the way family acted. However, I think he was partially saying those things to appease me. Anyway, I've been bothered by this since it all happened. I can't seem to let it go. I feel like everyone showed their true colors, and I'm really hurt. I think I've realized that nothing is going to change what happened, and I just want to figure out how to get over it. Anyone got any suggestions?