Well she's not my step daughter yet , But in 6 months she will be . I'll call her A for now . When I first met A's dad it was through work and he found out I had horses . A has always been into horses and at that point in time , her dad asked if I could give her riding lessons . I did and she was a natural at it . I was so proud to have a city girl be that in tune ! She listened to everything that I said like a sponge taking in water . Her father and me have now been together for a year and a half , and as far as I can tell she has no animosity towards me . She is 12 yrs old now and has been failing all but two of her classes from the beginning of this year . She has been suspended for stealing , and has talked to me about killing herself . She has a VERY wild imagination for making up lies to her teachers and her parents . The problem I'm having is that neither one of the parents seem to discipline her . If she does something wrong they"ground" her . Neither one makes sure that she is follwing through on the grounding (IE: no computer , phone etc ) She cusses constantly in front of us (she's 12 yrs old ) and I'm the only one that seems to catch these things. I don't want to be the 'EVIL" stepmother , but she has told me in the past that her parents don't follow through on the discipline , so what does it matter . I can see she is trying to reach out , and have talked with her dad about it , and he is at a loss . Her mother hates me (even though she has never met or talked with me) . All I want is for her to grow up as a good human being . She asked our roomate to buy her beer and cigarettes the other day , and keeps asking about drugs . I'm at a loss ! Can anyone give me some advice ? She really is a good kid at heart !