need advice

[chixie]

A little history first...my cousin got in a fight with her husband a weekago because she found out he was cheating on her and she told him to let her out of the truck and he wouldn't let her out so she jumped out and he ran her foot over and she had to have surgery and has pins and a plate in her foot... she is at home in a wheel chair with three small children... well saturday night I was at a wedding and he obviously didn't expect to see me there..but he showed up with another woman... It has bothered me since... he wouldn't even look at us ... my delma is should I let my cousin know orshould I just keep quiet... I think she should know but I don't want to hurt her but I know she will also be mad if she finds out and figures iout that I knew... If it was my husband I would definately want to know....

this is not the first time.. he is also a drug addict and is always out at parties with other women... my cousin deserves so much better... she has had a hard life... when she was 8 she witnessed her to little sisters drown(ages 4 and 7) and almost drowned herself... I just need some advice ... what would you do?

 

[sfw2]

If it was me, I'd keep it to myself. She already knows he was cheating, and probably has no reason to think that he has stopped. But it's not my cousin.

 

[cedar post]

First off this is a hard situation. I think she should know, if you don't tell her it's only going to prolong the obvious breakup. This is not a good situation as you know for the children. If you can be there for her and let her know. Mike

 

[PotterWatch]

Do you know what her plans are? Since she found out about his cheating, has she made plans to divorce him or does she think they are working things out? If she already has plans to divorce, this probably won't make any difference and I would just keep it to myself unless it would help her in the divorce proceedings. If she thinks they are going to work through it, I would tell her as it certainly shows he isn't committed to the marriage any more than he was before.

 

[chixie]

at this time... I don't know what her plans are... I know what i would do in her situation But its not my problem... he is no good...they live with her parents.. he quits job after job when its time for drug testing because he knows he won't pass ... He is a crook and I am sure abusive though I don't know that for a fact( isee signs)... she will probably stay with him because her self esteem is low...I pray thatone dayshe will wake up and realize thatshe can do so much better...

Maybe i will wait until she is out of the wheelchair...Though itis going to be a long time(8weeks)His sorry behind should be taking care of her ...he is the one that ran her over...instead her mom has to take care of her and their children while he is out living it up with otherwomen...I would like to knock him upside the head a few times..

 

[Countrywife]

Keep quiet and let them work out thier own marriage.

 

[redhen]

Tell her..
I would not want to be decieved...and i would be VERY pizzed if someone knew and didnt tell me..
it may hurt her...but she needs to know..just like you would want to know.

 

[PotterWatch]

Frankly it doesn't sound like she will do anything about it, so I would probably just keep it to myself. If she has put up with everything else, she will most likely put up with this as well.

 

[chixie]

maybe I ll tell her just so she has the info If she wants to use it

 

[redhen]

Quote:
right...give her the choice. At least you know that you did the right thing and warned her. If she does anything is up to her after that...