need help getting child support from deadbeat mom


9 Years
Apr 13, 2010

thanks for stopping by my post.
I'm a mom of three daughters, 12, 9, and 4. Our 12 year old is actually my step from my husband's previous relationship, but we took custody of her when she was 5. She was living in deplorable conditions in a trailer in the middle of nowhere, not being sent to school, malnourished, etc. Living with us, she's become a responsible, healthy, honor roll student. I've never "replaced" her mother(I prefer the term 'temporary uterine housing unit') but I've tried my darndest to be the best mom figure I can be for her. and as far as anyone's concerned she's my kid. anyway...
When we took custody the judge ordered her to arrange visitations and to pay $122/month(really low because she wasn't working thus had no income). She's done neither. Missed Birthdays and Holidays, but would randomly show up once or twice a year. A couple years later she moved to CA(from KS) and would call a couple times a year. She said she was working and that she'd start paying child support, but we've heard that story too many times to believe it. I haven't done the math, but she probably owes us $5K or more by now. For the most part we haven't fixated on the non-payment, we just assume the extra cost and go about our business, but my husband is about to get laid off twice this month and one next month, and this time of year is really hard for us moneywise with one kid's bday next week, one in november, xmas in december, and another bday in january. So my husband and I decided it's time to get the ball rolling on this, keeping in mind that we can't afford a lawyer right now.

I don't know where to start, but it seems to me that there must be some sort of advocacy program or agency that can help handle cases like this, because she is essentially breaking both state and federal laws. In california non-payment of over $500 in child support is enough to suspend drivers' license, garnish wages and/or taxes, even jail time.
It's tricky though because we live in MO, the orginal court order is through Lyon county, KS, and she's now living in CA.

have any of you ever had to seek out a deadbeat parent for child support? or maybe know of somewhere to get started?

I'm no expert, but I would guess it's going to get complicated, since there are three different states involved. I would start by calling the court where the child support order was put in place. The clerk there might be able to help you get the ball rolling. You could also try contacting whoever handles child support enforcement in California.

Good luck!
I checked out the website, they want 34% of what they collect, I wish there was a way around that...
I checked out the website, they want 34% of what they collect, I wish there was a way around that...

There should be another way. What state are you in? In Texas, you can call the Child Support Division of the Attorney General's office and they will start a case to enforce child support obligations. They are not YOUR lawyer; they are making sure that if there is someone out there that is supposed to be paying child support that they do, so that the taxpayers don't have to pay extra welfare to support the child.

Call the clerks office where your original case was filed. Ask them if there is any free government agency that helps with child support enforcement. I'll bet there is....
Last edited:
Sorry to be negative but you have taken care of her for 8 years without support...seriously doubt her biological Mom is going to change at this point. I would say put that behind and just do the best you can going forward. AND I would not bring this up in front of the 12 year old as I am sure she feels pretty worthless about the situation as it ex did not pay for years, I finally "put it behind me" and moved on with our lives. Sure it was hard at times, but it was not worth the constant stress, fighting, court, money to try to make him do what he was supposed to.
You should be able to file with the IRS to intercept any refunds due and have them apply towards back child support. Agree with noodleroo on first calling the clerk of the court that ordered child support. However, since this is not your child, the court is unlikely to deal directly with you, but will rather require that your husband, the child's father, be the one they interact with. With his written authorization, they may be willing to work directly with you.
If there is a court order for her to pay, there is a process to enforce that order. I agree about being careful in front of the child; no need to make her feel worse.

Again, I don't know what state you live in but here if you are held in contempt for ignoring a child support order, you can be put in jail for up to 6 months at a time and charged interest if the child receives public assistance (welfare).
Its kinda quirky in Texas; the court case is public information and anybody can review the file and orders. In the Attorney General's office it is different; only parties to the case or their attorneys can get the info from their files. Law enforcement does not even have access to the AG office info...

New posts New threads Active threads

Top Bottom