Need help...***Update***I think I'm done guys!

[Wifezilla]

As for hubby being in the reserves...

A friend of ours was in the reserves. His wife had a great full time job at an insurance company. He was "Mr. Mom". He made extra money driving bus so his work hours were at the same time his son was in school.

 

[deb1]

Quote:
The full time military is different than the Reserves. Yes, there are always jerkish superiors but that is true of any job. You get good bosses and bad bosses.

Could your hubby stay home with the child for a few years? He could straighten the house and make life a bit easier on you in that regard.

 

[JessHall]

So, just as I had made my mind up to think more positively, the phone rang... DH just got laid off! NOW WHAT!? I needed that like a hole in the head!

 

[JessHall]

I think that this is truly what depression feels like. My son is at my parents because I don't want him to see me hysterical... I don't know what to do... now my house is a mess... my kid's not even here, and my husband has no job! I think I wanna give up

Oh yeah... and the chicken waterer just broke!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Quote:
THAT IS ILLEGAL!

A person being in the reserves cannot be used as a reson to not hire them or to fire them. A reservist called to active duty cannot be fired--a like job must be made available to them when they are released. This has been the law for many, many years. Check out the Soldier's & Sailor's Civil Relief Act.

 

[chickabator]

It will be alright, try to take some deep breaths and calm down. I do know how you feel, I have been there, It will get better in time. No one can be super mom. You have to learn how to juggle so to speak. when my girls were little I worked 12 and 14 hour days. I got to see dh a total of 10 minutes a day and got to see my girls enough to give them their baths, and put them to bed that was the most presious time with them I would read them a story every night do hugs and snuggles with them, and stay there with them till they fell asleep. dh didnt get home from work till 3:00am I would go to sleep on the couch waiting for him to get there I always managed to spend a little quality time with him even if it was just 5 min. then I had to be at work at 6:00am. now after all those years of doing that it wore my body out. You have got to take care of yourself. so while you are trying to figure out how to "juggle" everything dont forget to take care of yourself. Casuse if you dont no one will. I have got to get off here I have to be back up at 4 to get dh up for work. please try to calm down and take care of yourself. trust me I am telling you this from experience.

 

[insiderart]

Quote:
LOL! I love this part about the chicken waterer.

Ok Jess, sit down. Take deep breath. In through the nose out through the mouth. Several times.

Here's what it sounds like (to me) God is telling you. You needed help, voila DH is now home to help. He can take care of the boy, (and keep him rowdied up during the day so he is less fractious when you get home), he can also take care of the house. I don't know if you are religious, even if you don't believe in God, believe in cosmic destiny.

I believe sometimes we try so hard to make certain things happen, we really try to force the issue, when it's not God's plan. When we relax and let what is supposed to happen unfold we are much happier in the end. What appears to be another stressor sounds like it is really a blessing in disguise. You are so overworked and stressed out you are at a breaking point. One dish is not a "dirty" house, but is more indicative of the fact that you feel out of control, and cleaning the house is the only thing you can control. It's become obsessive in a way. You need to sit down and take stock. Make a list of things DH can now do, so that when you come home it's all family time.

Reassess your finances, sell a car and use only one if you have to. But most importantly you need to find a way to destress. At this point I would reommend that you see a Dr. for your stress/obsessive problem. Some medications could help you immensely, help you to get out of the brain chemical stress soup you are mired in right now. Do it for your son, if not for DH or yourself.

*super big hug*

Terri

 

[WriterofWords]

Take the word "perfect" out of your vocabulary right now. We can't be perfect, no one can. I've been a single mom since Steven was 6 months old, I've also gotten my degrees, worked two or three jobs at a time, left my son with family most of the time and some weeks didn't see him during the week because I left at 3am and got home at 11 after college. Did I feel like a failure? Yes I did, but it took a good hard verbal slap from someone I respected to point out I was doing what I had to do to take care of and raise my son. Now I'm pretty darn proud of the young man he turned into in spite of me. The house doesn't have to be spotless, the dishes can stack up, and you know what? The world will not end. Now go hug yourself, tell yourself you are doing what has to be done right now and that's just the way it is.

Life ain't easy, but it's worth living no matter what.

 

[Clicky]

Alright Mrs. Jess, here is what you need to do if you haven't already:

1. See if your husband qualifies for unemployment, and if he qualifies for retirement funds. Unemployment will send you a check every week if he does it online each week, and retirement funds is money in the pocket I think, I'd have to ask my mom for more details.

2. Sign up for welfare and food stamps. My family uses this since my dad got sick/died, and it's been a life savior.

3. See if there is a free lunch program at your sons school, and have either your son bring home the forms, or ask your husband to pick them up. Saves a lot on lunch meat/lunch money.

If I think of more stuff, I'll let you know, m'kay?

I know it's scary right now, but you'll pull through, got it?

 

[Hoosiermomma]

Quote:
LOL! I love this part about the chicken waterer.

Ok Jess, sit down. Take deep breath. In through the nose out through the mouth. Several times.

Here's what it sounds like (to me) God is telling you. You needed help, voila DH is now home to help. He can take care of the boy, (and keep him rowdied up during the day so he is less fractious when you get home), he can also take care of the house. I don't know if you are religious, even if you don't believe in God, believe in cosmic destiny.

I believe sometimes we try so hard to make certain things happen, we really try to force the issue, when it's not God's plan. When we relax and let what is supposed to happen unfold we are much happier in the end. What appears to be another stressor sounds like it is really a blessing in disguise. You are so overworked and stressed out you are at a breaking point. One dish is not a "dirty" house, but is more indicative of the fact that you feel out of control, and cleaning the house is the only thing you can control. It's become obsessive in a way. You need to sit down and take stock. Make a list of things DH can now do, so that when you come home it's all family time.

Reassess your finances, sell a car and use only one if you have to. But most importantly you need to find a way to destress. At this point I would reommend that you see a Dr. for your stress/obsessive problem. Some medications could help you immensely, help you to get out of the brain chemical stress soup you are mired in right now. Do it for your son, if not for DH or yourself.

*super big hug*

Terri

I truly believe this to be true. I have seen it happen all too many times in the lives of those around me. Like Terri said, I don't know if you are religious or not but when things get really bad for me and they have been many times I just ask God to show me what he wants me to do, that I can't do it anymore. Something always ends up happening , whether I like it or not at the time, but usually turns out being for the best. This situation that you are currently facing may seem hopeless and overwhelming but it may turn out being for the best. Maybe some other opportunity will present itself that will end up being far better than previous ones.
Again first and foremost you need to take care of yourself. Also don't hesitate to ask for help from family or friends. It wouldn't hurt to talk to your dr. about getting something mild for depression that will help until things settle down.
As always, we are all here for you....