Need prayers and support, please

[Caribear]

Hi all,

I need some prayers and support. My boyfriend recently left me and our son. He never really gave me a good reason, just decided that after eight years the relationship wasn't worth fighting for. He moved in with his mom's second ex-husband (yes, dysfunctional relationships run in his family) and for several weeks refused to talk to me. I have been trying to pick up the pieces and keep it together for our son. But tonight is rough. I heard my son in the other room talking to God, about mostly nothing, and then he said "and God, please bring me my daddy back. Amen."

I just don't know how to handle this with my son. I don't know if I should let him continue to think that his dad and I may get back together, or whether I need to tell him gently that it will probably never happen. I don't know myself what will happen, since if ex-boyfriend does want to come back I have some conditions that need to be met first and I don't know if he's willing to meet them. My heart is breaking in so many different ways right now. I just need all the prayers I can get.

 

[ChickensAreSweet]

Prayers sent and may God hold you and your son in his light forever.

 

[cassie]

You might watch the movie Mrs. Doubtfire again. Near the end Mrs. Doubtfire explains to children about mommies and daddies getting back together again. Or not. You might find it helpful in discussing the matter with your son.

Two things to be aware of if you aren't already. One, little kids often think breakups are their fault. Two, be careful not to badmouth the other parent in earshot of the kid. The kid takes it as a reflection on himself, because that parent is part of himself.

 

[Caribear]

@ChickensAreSweet, thank you. That means a lot.

@ Cassie, thanks for the suggestion. I forgot about that movie. I do make very sure not to say unkind things about ex-bf in front of our son. And I have tried to tell him that it was not his fault, and that mom and dad both still love him very much, but I know I can't change the way he feels.

I just don't know how to handle this. I'm the first single mom on my side of the family, and his side has lots of them, but none that I would want to use as a model of how to do this.

 

[sfw2]

I don't have much in the way of advice, other than to just be the best mom you can, one day at a time.

 

[Sandyd]

Caribear,
Thoughts and prayers are with you and your son. As Cassie said, what ever anyone says, do not say anything negative about your son's father. Talk openly with your son to alleviate his fears. Explain to him that sometimes people make decisions that takes them away to a different home and that you will still be there for him through everything. Take him by the hand, lift up your eyes and go forward from here on out. You are a proud, strong mother to a wonderful young man and no-one can take that from you or him. Most important is to try not to have any ill feelings and instill that thought to your son. God works in mysterious ways. I know how you are feeling right now, as this happened to me 20 some years ago with 4 young boys. You are going to have so many feelings like hurt, lost, angry, I don't care and then find strength. Hang in there lady. Think of your son first then god, friends and family will get you through it.

 

[Caribear]

Thank you so much, that helps a lot.

 

[lucy7]

ya

 

[CSYohman]

Praying for you hun, I know things seem hard right now, but keep communicating with your little one......let him know that you are there if he needs to talk, somehow, someway, someday things WILL start to get better. Put it in God's hands and he'll see you through. We don't always understand why He does things in our lives, but you better believe the Big Man has a plan and somehow in the end, it will all work out.

Big hugs to you from Ohio,
-C-

 

[newfoundland]

I hope you have someone you can talk to. You need to be able to speak about your feelings in a way that perhaps you would necessarily want your son to overhear. This is such a hard time for you especially as you don't really know why this has all happened. Could your boyfriend be having some sort of a breakdown? I say this because a cousin of mine once went out for a loaf of bread and went missing for 3 years. he left a young family behind not knowing what had become of him. Turned out he had lost his job and been covering it up for weeks. At the end of his tether, he just ran away. Then he had a breakdown and turned up in another town not knowing who he was. Following treatment he remembered his family and they were reunited. I hope you have a happy ending too. Meanwhile talk to friends, don't go it alone.