need some advice from parents

[dinahmoe]

i am happily married with 2 kids.my kids are great.i get to be a stay at home mom with a semi retired husband.we have a lot of land and plenty of animals.yes,life is good.
my problem is i like MY kids but not others.does anyone else feel this way?

i am the type that when my husband is home and the kids are around i don't answer the phone.everyone i need is right here at the moment.

i have never liked kids or had anything to do with them until i wanted my own.i had my first at 36 and then 38.i am not close to my family.its not that we don't get a long,its just that i am a loner type.i was raised by my grandparents with no other kids.our family is the type that gets together on thanksgiving and such and pick up where we left off last year.
my half brother and i were not raised together and really don't hang out much.he is 10yrs younger than i am.he has 2 boys(7-2) and has recently been bringing them to our dads house(which unfortunaley is on my property next door).well,he knows that his 7yo will want to come to my house because my son is 6 and they want to play.that is fine but he never ask me first or if i have plans.all of a sudden there are kids running thru the house.he has done this 4 out of the last 5 weekends.i really got POed when he did it on memorial day weekend.him and his wife went floating while someone else watched their kids.never asked.
he never comes next door and visits me unless we are cooking out.

my dad never brings over the 2yo because he knows that he requires watching and tending to.they think that the others are old enough to come and go with out watching.my kids do not go outside unless i am out there too.i may be overprotective but they are MY kids.
my dads house is not very fun.no toys and a strict,angry grandpa.i know from experience that i would want to stay there and feel bad for him(cousin) so it puts me in a situation.i do not babysit-never have and i feel i am being forced to .
i do not leave my kids with anyone very often-maybe 2-3 times a year(never my brothers house).my son loves it when he comes down and they play all day.
my husband is the most laid back person in the world and says for me to chill out and let them play.the problem with that is he doesn't watch them,i do.


again ,my son loves it.he has school friends but this is his cousin-i want to do what is best for him,
so do i need to chill or have a sit down with my brother?
will not hurt my feelings if he gets mad but just thinking of my son having so much fun during that time.

 

[artsy1]

whew, I think you need to talk to brother and tell him you feel, a little put out because they are always at your house and you have to watch them all.
On the other hand, it is really great that the cousins are close, they won't be young for very long, even tho you feel lke this will last forever."It won't."
What a blessing to have your family close.
Maybe you need to work something out with the bro. so you don't feel takin advantage of, maybe you should just suck it up and think about everyone in the situation, not just your feelings?

I am a lil older and my kids are grown, I have done so many things for them and the family that I didn't want too, but felt I needed too, so everyone is happy. ESSPECIALLY MY KIDS.

j.m.o.

Not trying to make you mad.

 

[debilorrah]

If most people were to be honest they would tell you that you are not alone. I do not care for other peoples children except the grandkids.

 

[ChikeeMomma]

If most people were to be honest they would tell you that you are not alone.  I do not care for other peoples children except the grandkids.  

Agree with Deb! I don't necessarily care for other people's children. Don't know why I am wired this way. Usually if they are really naughty or disrespectful, I really, really don't enjoy being around the child. I love my kids to death, their friends, and SOME of our friend's children. While others I have a hard time being around.

 

[dinahmoe]

whew, I think you need to talk to brother and tell him you feel, a little put out because they are always at your house and you have to watch them all.
On the other hand, it is really great that the cousins are close, they won't be young for very long, even tho you feel lke this will last forever."It won't."
What a blessing to have your family close.
Maybe you need to work something out with the bro. so you don't feel takin advantage of, maybe you should just suck it up and think about everyone in the situation, not just your feelings?

I am a lil older and my kids are grown, I have done so many things for them and the family that I didn't want too, but felt I needed too, so everyone is happy.  ESSPECIALLY MY KIDS.

j.m.o.

Not trying to make you mad.

nope not at all,thanks for your advice.



this part-
"I am a lil older and my kids are grown, I have done so many things for them and the family that I didn't want too, but felt I needed too, so everyone is happy. ESSPECIALLY MY KIDS."

but everyone is NOT happy-

 

[dinahmoe]

Agree with Deb! I don't necessarily care for other people's children. Don't know why I am wired this way. Usually if they are really naughty or disrespectful, I really, really don't enjoy being around the child. I love my kids to death, their friends, and SOME of our friend's children. While others I have a hard time being around.

thanks.
i am just not the house where all the kids will hang out.my aunt has an open door policy with kids and that just ain't me.
i now go to my sons school friends birthday parties and i can actually feel my blood pressure go up.but i go and i pretend.

 

[Pngzv]

I think it s great t he cousins play. I my parents divorced when I was two and my dad remaried and I was raised by this nasty stepmother who brought a kid with her into are family. It destroyed are family and I never got a chance to spend time with my cousins. Im 42 and still can't. No holidays nothing. Let the kids play

 

[Carols Clucks]

Next time,

I would let the hubby know he needs to watch the kids because you just realized you ran out of "_____________________" something you will have to run to the market for. Make sure it is a market far away, and then decide to get some lunch while you are out and maybe do some window shopping. Give hubs a call and tell him you are taking a few Mommy mental health moments and come back when either dinner is ready or the extra kids are on their way home.

Maybe after a couple of weekends spent doing daddy brother baby sitting, hubs will think he might want to say something to his brother, OR he will have found he enjoys watching the boys and you can have a break

 

[dinahmoe]

I think it s great t he cousins play. I my parents divorced when I was two and my dad remaried and I was raised by this nasty stepmother who brought a kid with her into are family. It destroyed are family and I never got a chance to spend time with my cousins. Im 42 and still can't. No holidays nothing. Let the kids play

i have been so far.i just hide how i feel from my son but when the cousin leaves,i am happy once again and lock the doors.

 

[dinahmoe]

Next time,

I would let the hubby know he needs to watch the kids because you just realized you ran out of "_____________________" something you will have to run to the market for.  Make sure it is a market far away, and then decide to get some lunch while you are out and maybe do some window shopping.  Give hubs a call and tell him you are taking a few Mommy mental health moments and come back when either dinner is ready or the extra kids are on their way home.

Maybe after a couple of weekends spent doing daddy brother baby sitting, hubs will think he might want to say something to his brother, OR he will have found he enjoys watching the boys and you can have a break

no you don't know my husband.he doesn't watch them.they could be rolling in poison ivey and he wouldn't notice.they could burn the house down and he would say" i thought they were with you."