Kikiriki
Songster
I agree you need to lay down the law with your brother and his wife. How does grandad feel about babysitting? They may be taking advantage of him as much as they are taking advantage of you. Are they scheduling ahead of time with him?
Or if you cant get the courage up to talk to them, next time you see his car, grab the family, load up the car and hit the road for as long as you can stay gone.
Or show up at their door with your child and say, " Your turn!" with a big smile and leave the motor running for a fast get away! After a few weekends they may get the hint!
I did not like most of my son's friends as he was growing up. Some were sneaky, some were bratty, some were just flat out obnoxious. I am not and never have been a kid person...children avoid me and it is fine with me!
It is okay to not adore other people's children. It doesnt make you a bad person or a bad mother. We all have different strengths and different personalities. You were not meant to be the neighborhood Mom, so talk to your husband. Tell him it is not a matter of just lightening up, it is a matter of changing your personality...ask him to be the one to deal with the children when friends visit since he is so mellow and so good with them.
But for yourself, there is are three things you can do that worked for me: first realize that children really do need socialization with people their own ages... It's like changing diapers: you dont want to but you know it is necessary! When friends come over say "hello diaper" chuckle and go about your business. Then stop and just watch how happy your children are as they play with their friends! Think about how happy it makes you to see them happy! Finally, treat the friends like the little individuals they are...talk to them as you would to an adult, ask their opinions: this can really be a lot of fun! I dont know if you ever saw Bill Cosby when he had a show where he sat and talked with children. Try to find it (maybe on HULU? Anyone know?) Imagine you are Bill Cosby and ask them outrageous questions like how to get world peace, which planet humans should explore and why, or how dogs find bones in the ground. You may find yourself having fun!
Good luck!
Or if you cant get the courage up to talk to them, next time you see his car, grab the family, load up the car and hit the road for as long as you can stay gone.
Or show up at their door with your child and say, " Your turn!" with a big smile and leave the motor running for a fast get away! After a few weekends they may get the hint!
I did not like most of my son's friends as he was growing up. Some were sneaky, some were bratty, some were just flat out obnoxious. I am not and never have been a kid person...children avoid me and it is fine with me!
It is okay to not adore other people's children. It doesnt make you a bad person or a bad mother. We all have different strengths and different personalities. You were not meant to be the neighborhood Mom, so talk to your husband. Tell him it is not a matter of just lightening up, it is a matter of changing your personality...ask him to be the one to deal with the children when friends visit since he is so mellow and so good with them.
But for yourself, there is are three things you can do that worked for me: first realize that children really do need socialization with people their own ages... It's like changing diapers: you dont want to but you know it is necessary! When friends come over say "hello diaper" chuckle and go about your business. Then stop and just watch how happy your children are as they play with their friends! Think about how happy it makes you to see them happy! Finally, treat the friends like the little individuals they are...talk to them as you would to an adult, ask their opinions: this can really be a lot of fun! I dont know if you ever saw Bill Cosby when he had a show where he sat and talked with children. Try to find it (maybe on HULU? Anyone know?) Imagine you are Bill Cosby and ask them outrageous questions like how to get world peace, which planet humans should explore and why, or how dogs find bones in the ground. You may find yourself having fun!
Good luck!