need to rant

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by Lothiriel, Sep 22, 2011.

  1. Lothiriel

    Lothiriel Crowing Premium Member

    Aug 30, 2007
    New York State
    My Coop
    I need to rant. Because I need to get out.

    I do not want to go to college. I want a job. But I can't because 1) my mom has not let me drive worth beans and my dad is a truck driver so he's not home very often so I don't have my license even though I'm 18; 2) even if I did we only have 1 vehicle and it's pretty much done for; 3) even if I were to get a job and she'd drive me to it, she'd really complain about it -- probably so much that I'd wish I didn't have the job.

    With 3 adult women in the house, I hate doing housework because someone will always be bothered by the way I've done something, or we'll argue about something. I have certain ways I like things done, my mom has her ways, and my sister has her ways. It's sometimes so hard...

    On top of it all I don't feel the greatest today, so I spent much of it alone on here. (Yes, I know I spend quite a bit of my time on here. But I do things around the house in between other things, and most of the time I get on here in the evenings.) Well, I'm not the most communicative person in the world, and I didn't really feel like telling the whole household that I wasn't feeling up to par.

    My mom's been stressing out over math programs for my younger siblings' schooling, because the one she has is not working. I have told her many times which programs I like and don't like, and which one I think she should get, but she keeps looking at more and more. So earlier around dinner she showed me this new program, and I liked it better than the others I've seen. It seemed to be a unanimous decision. But she had to go look at more. She mentioned it to me, and I said I'd look at it.

    Well, she got all mad at me a while ago, and called me downstairs, so I came down and basically sat around doing nothing because that's what everyone else was doing and there wasn't anything else to do. It was bedtime, the kids were eating their snack, and that's it. Then she started her usual tirade of how "the chicken forum is your life" and "you don't do anything around here" and all that, and how all I was interested in was chicken breeds and didn't give a hoot about math programs. I was successfully holding myself in... I asked what the other math program was. And she ignored me. I repeated the question, but she still ignored me. My little sister said, "Mommy, aren't you going to answer her?" But at that my brother said, "She should ignore her! All she's interested in is stupid chicken stuff."

    I lost it. And now here I am in my room, on here.

    I want to get out! I need to be able to run my own place... If I had the chance I would! They all think I would never make it as a wife because I hate doing housework here. But they are so wrong! I know myself! I know I would make a good homemaker. But they won't give me any of the opportunities to prove it. My mom never seems to notice when I do something that she likes. She never gives any praise for anything -- I'm surprised I did so well on my SAT, because my mom never praised me for my schoolwork. I tried many times to nicely suggest she give some praise every once in a while, but it only happened once. And never any real gratitude for helping around the house on super busy days -- nothing more than a single little "thank you for helping" at the end of the day. I suppose I should be thankful for that at least... And then she hates me going to the evening church service which is geared toward college students and young adults -- I am the only young person in my church. My 2 friends who used to come are now out of country (Russia) and out of state (VA). With them gone, the one right before me doesn't come anymore and she is 22 and never bothered being friendly, and after me there is my brother's friend who is 12. Doesn't she see the lack of people my age? Doesn't she see my need to be around them? Around him? Doesn't she see my desperation when she tries to stop me from loving a man? Wasn't she ever in the same situation? Actually no she wasn't. She went to public school and married her highschool sweetheart. And she wonders why I feel the need to love someone.

    Sorry guys. I just had to get this off my chest. Sometimes I feel like I'm suffocating with it all if I don't tell someone, whoever it may be.

  2. stoopid

    stoopid Chicken Fairy Godmother

    Aug 3, 2011
    Long Island, NY
    Been there. It will blow over soon enough. I wish you strength, and patience.
  3. JulieNKC

    JulieNKC Crowing

    Sep 25, 2010
    Kansas City
  4. fuzziebutt

    fuzziebutt Songster

    Mar 9, 2009
    You want to be thanked for helping clean the house that you live in? Your mother values your imput and your opinion, or she wouldn't ask. She obviously thinks that you are very intelligent, or she wouldn't care what you think about math programs. The others are jealous that you have a hobby, or something that gets you out of the house, that's why they mention it. You should be soo grateful that your mom wants you to help her with the younger ones. Not as a slave, but as an adult. Sit her down when it's not so hectic, and tell her that you would like to date some. If she thinks that you don't pull your share, ask her nicely to make a list of things she expects you to do daily, and then do it. Then ask if she needs anything else, then go do chickenstuff! And don't give up on the church. Ask some of the older women for advice, since they were raised stricter than that, and they may be able to tell you how they got out to date.
  5. aggie9296

    aggie9296 Songster

    Jan 28, 2011
    Panama City, FL
    Patience for your current situation. Plan for moving out on your own, getting a job etc. If you want to be independent, go for it. But be prepared to work hard at a job you may not like. You may have to ride a bike or public transit or depend on coworkers for a ride. You may have to live with roomates to be able to afford an apartment or house. If you are not ready to put in that kind of effort, be prepared to put up with Mom and her rules for longer. ("If you're going to live in MY house, you're going to follow MY rules! Heard that a thousand times.)

    Don't give up on college. A degree could result in higher pay down the road. It can also be a GREAT excuse to get out of the house. Then you can put off the "real world" for longer. You could work part time and still go to college. Some people even work FULL time and go to college.

  6. fuzziebutt

    fuzziebutt Songster

    Mar 9, 2009
    Quote:I always told my boys"If you're gonna suck up air that I can be breathing.." And school is neat. What about an Avian Vet? Big money, and you can tell the others to kiss your chickens!
  7. Carols Clucks

    Carols Clucks Songster

    Oct 13, 2010
    The first thing you should do, is think about how you are creating your own obstacles.

    Saying you can't get a job be cause your mom will not drive you there is an obstacle you created. As you said you are 18 and an adult, so you need to figure out how to get yourself to work. If that means baby sitting, mowing lawns, raking leaves, shoveling snow etc for the near by neighbors until can buy a bus pass/bike/skateboard. Use that to get yourself to the next better job to make a bit more to buy a beater first car and insurance. Use that to drive yourself to an even better job.

    As far as college goes, you might want to wait and see what you really want to do in life. Maybe it needs higher education, maybe it does not. Note that most people have to have a job even when married, it is hard to make ends meet and being a homemaker might not be an option. But even if you meet the man of your dreams who can support you, it is still a nice feeling to know that you can support yourself as well.
  8. chickened

    chickened Crowing

    Oct 2, 2010
    western Oregon
    18 is a tough age, I turned 18 and I was out the door on my own but I don't encourage this for everyone. You will have better days, maybe tomorrow [​IMG] I would go about your business and try not to let things get you down. Doors will open for you just put the word out you are looking for a job.
  9. Heiko27

    Heiko27 Chirping

    Jun 16, 2011
    Been there, done that. Don't ever give up and work hard. Maybe do odd jobs and move to an apartment. Maybe just a college town and work for a bit, then you can go to school. Other things will come and you might not be able to own your own place for a while but work your butt off and be careful of who you date [​IMG] I rode my bike everywhere for a few years, and I don't know where you live, but at least I was in the city and I got into an apartment. It was tough and I was stupid and got on a combined contract. The others wouldn't/couldn't pay rent and I had to fork out 2k to save my butt if I wanted to keep a good credit score. It also gave me room I needed to figure out what I wanted to become, and it gave room to meet my husband ( I wasn't even looking, and actually did not want that, but it worked out and I'm so glad it did now) which really probably would not have happened if I hadn't been out on my own. Oh ya we met in karate. I kicked him in the nuts. Ok it was little bit on purpose- he liked me and I didn't like him but long story lol. Anyways, never give up. I have two kids, an apartment with my dog, one good human friend, and my animals on someone else's property an am having a hard time getting into a home in the country, but life is full of so many surprises, I promise. If I had given up I wouldn't even have had ducks let alone a place to live. And try to cherish your loved ones no matter what, because someday you will be looking back on these days. And it might be all you have.

  10. BlackBrookPoultry

    BlackBrookPoultry Crowing

    Jun 15, 2010
    Western Wisconsin

    You are 18, its time to make decisions about where your life is going and stop making excuses. Living with your parents, jobless and not going to school doesn't sound like the best choice for your future or self esteem. Do you have a man in mind that you wish to marry and become a homemaker?

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