Neighbors keep asking for money !!** UPDATE LOL **

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I had a neighbor likes this before - we helped her out when her DH died all of a sudden from cancer - but it got to the point she was over EVERY day wanting something, money - my DH to fix her car - come over for the phone you name it she wanted it - we ended up moving that is how bad it got - and I told DH never again would I have a neighbor like that -
I know gas prices are high and if that is what she needs the money for than she needs to tell her DH to leave her more money for gas. I was feeling bad about saying no but I am not going to give her money - I might be able to send over a basket of eggs LOL

thank you all for not making me feel bad about not giving her money - I have been saving this money for awhile and I have finally got DH to agree I NEED MORE chickens !!


Julie
 
I wonder if it would be useful to put together the names and phone #s of some local social services type things, like the local food bank and stuff. Maybe also more specific things, like employment agencies or welfare or treatment services or etc if the nature of the neighbor's problem is obvious enough. Put them in her mailbox with a signed note, worded very nicely and with helpful concern, saying 'I am sorry that I am not able to help you out with money for gas and other things when you send your childre over here to ask. Here are some agencies that may be of some use to you. I hope you can work things out and your luck changes for the better soon. Best wishes, <name>"

Either the info will be genuinely useful or, more likely, she will be mightily offended and stop trying to sponge money off of you
wink.png


Good luck, it sounds like an extremely uncomfortable situation,

Pat
 
I don't know if anyone else has said this, but driving a car is a privilege. If you can't afford to, you really should look into public transit and/or invest in a bicycle. I would not feel obliged in any way to pay for someone's gas. That is ridiculous.

I hate it when neighbors make it unpleasant to enjoy one's own yard. I put up with a lot before we finally gave up and moved. But I was in a similar situation -- I prefer spending my time outside, but found that I couldn't enjoy it any longer. The worst was when my neighbor (a kinda creepy guy) was staring through our fence slats at me and my new baby ducks. That was incredibly disturbing. But also one night, when I was in the middle of incubating the very same ducks, and therefore was sleeping on the couch and monitoring them during the night -- I heard people talking on our front stoop. It scared the you-know-what out of me. I now suspect people were selling drugs at night in our front yard.
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Hang in there. I wish you could move to a better neighborhood too. Don't feel guilty about not giving her gas money.
 
I had a similar situation years ago. I gave money the first time, the second time I said no, the third time she sent her daughter over I had an envelope ready with her name on it. I wrote her a note explaining that I am not a charity and I will not give her another cent. I told her she needed to get off her butt and get a job. I sealed the envelope so the daughter wouldn't have to read it and sent it with her. She didn't bother me again after that... she wasn't very friendly towards me but I really didn't care. She eventually got a job and a side job selling little baggies of green stuff from her house. I moved a few blocks away to a place that had even more problem neighbors. Thankfully we have moved to a rural town and things are quiet and I have great neighbors on either side and a Christmas tree farm behind us...I'll never move to the city or suburbs again.

Don't feel bad for not enabling her. She needs to be an adult and stop asking for hand outs, what kind of lesson is she teaching her kids?
hmm.png
 
Quote:
I agree.

I would talk to the Mom and see what's going on - who knows, maybe she does really need help. If you haven't given money in the past - maybe you could just give $5 or something small and then encourage her to get a job if she doesn't have one. If she doesn't have a job and won't get one and keeps asking for money, I wouldn't give any. I think once is enough if she's not taking the initiative to get a job. JMHO.


~Lacey

ETA: I don't know your view on this - but when people in need asked me or my family for money, we would always consider it a tithe.
 
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to answear a question that was asked - yes mom has come over looking for money herself - I told her that I dont have any money to give her - she than looks in to my driveway and says " oh you dont have a car either - I need a ride to get my kids at school " I told her I dont drive sorry cant help there either.

we have the same landlord I need to go pay my rent in a few days I am going to bring it up to him ( he is a PE teacher, he might be able to look into what is going on ).


Julie
 
Julie: You do NOT need to feel bad. Using her kids to beg would turn me off immediately. And I agree with one of the other comments. I thinks that's bordering on abuse.

Enjoy your new chicks when you get them

Jacie
 
I would ask the Mom if she is indeed sending the kids over, but I think you said she asked herself once? But I like the idea of having her do some outside work for you! Outside so she won't be in your house, working so she can feel good about getting the money and not have to pay you back!
Maybe it could be once a month thing so you don't have to deal with her every week!
You can be sweet about it too, saying you have been taken before from say a family member and do not like to give out your hard earned money and that if she could help you out you would pay her and this way you feel better about giving out money since it would be a business deal! If she agrees make a little contract out about the amount agreed upon and time so so forth.
Hey it may even make her feel good about herself.
I just hope if she does need the money she is using it for gas and not a fix of some sort
Do you know if she is a single Mom?
I hate to be put on the spot like that, it sucks!
If you offer her a job maybe if she doesn't want to do it she will get the hint and leave you alone. If she says no tell her Please do not ask again.
Brenda
 
Oh yeah, definitely DO NOT feel bad!

awww.. new chicks?! I can't wait until mine hatch!
Enjoy when you get them!!

~Lacey
 

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