**NEW QUESTION PG. 12** Autism: Yes, you may ask my opinion!

[ursusarctosana]

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Ah! Good ol' smelling. I have a knack for detecting the most rancid odors. I will freeze in the middle of whatever I am doing and announce loudly, "What's that smell?" I've done in the most delicate moments: business meetings, etc.

One time I was taking a geology class and I was the first person into the classroom. I couldn't resist the professor's box of geological specimens, so I examined all the rocks. There was one labeled "Asbestos". I knew what asbestos was, but this was a large, furry chunk in a case. What did I do? I opened the case and I sniffed it.

Why did I do that? It was a compulsion. I knew what it was--that its fibers can become lodged in the lungs and cause disease, but something about the way it looked caused me to sniff it.

A dumb thing to do, but it was as if I were an automaton on auto-pilot. The data inside knows the protocol, but the body is moving anyway.

 

[ursusarctosana]

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Those can be signs that a person has autism. There are some doctors, I've heard, who will dismiss autism simply because a child smiles and looks at them a bit, but I think it's strange for a doctor to dismiss autism due to a person being able to make eye contact, etc. People are all so different. What one person with autism may tolerate, another cannot. Some people with autism can handle a reciprocal conversation (if they work at it) and appear (to most) to be neurotypical, but other times, when they are in a relaxed environment, they may monologue all day. I think it takes time for a doctor to understand.

In my family no one noticed that I "really liked the dogs" and "followed them a lot". I followed the dogs all day, into the forest, from the time I was five years old. I talked to them all day long. I pretended to be a dog, too. My grandmother gave me pork chop bones to chew on. My grandparents never acted or said there was anything wrong with it. When I went to school I would convince the other kids to pretend we were a pack of wolves. We'd climb the hill in the playground and howl. Then we'd pretend we were horses and have races. I never played anyone else's games. In retrospect, I must've seemed pushy to some. Others found me entertaining and liked the fact that I always had an idea. I was actually in my own little world and I would not have cooperated had anyone told me to play another game. I was rigid. Very rigid.

Not seeking out activities with other children is supposed to be a sign. As a girl I think I may have been a little more social which may have masked some of the signs for me. I was really pushy. Now, as an adult, I can clearly see this behavior in some children with autism that I've met. Since I know the rules now I wonder how anyone could have tolerated playing with me.

 

[ursusarctosana]

Yeah, people with autism have their own personalities just like everyone else. There are kids who are downright charming, like my son, or myself, too, and we can hold this charm for extended periods, unless we're put in a situation where we are told to do something we feel uncomfortable doing. Then there is a change in our attitude. I think this can cause some doctors to think a child has something else, a personality disorder, conduct/defiance disorder, if they don't analyze the person over time and notice the patterns. I think it is difficult for some psychologists/psychiatrists, even though they completed their studies to become doctors, to analyze situations with the breadth necessary to make all the connections that lead to a diagnosis of autism and not borderline personality disorder or diagnosis (in children) that go beyond ADD/ADHD or Oppositional Defiance Disorder. It can even be more difficult, I think, if the parents are too focused on one aspect of the child's behavior and don't see the overall picture.

Even though I have autism and my son has autism there was a time when I was convinced he was a psychopath who didn't care about anyone else. Of course a psychologist should be extremely cautious in labeling someone a psychopath, but my point is that frustrations can get in the way of diagnosis so it can easily be suspected that parents who are in denial or who think they can just reason with their child or that he/she's being a brat, well, they may not make progress as much as they would if they were on the right track for their child's situation.

 

[Momma_Cluck]

Hi hun...
and from the head of an Aspi Family--
My hat's off to you...

It is hard enough to be an adult who has "made-it" thru this world with one of these "disorders"...

but offering not only your help-
but opening the eyes of many people who really do not understand the range and scope of the "Autism Spectrum" deserves accolades.

I went thru life knowing something was "wrong" with me... my social skills were WAY off... I am Very social, but body language, facial expression etc.. throws me... and People allways got mad and called me a "know it all" because I read voraciously and absorb it all... and allways try to help with what I've learned if I can...

It was not until I FINALLY met someone I "Clicked" with who was EXACTLY like me that I felt, and was treated as if I were "Normal"...

And it was not until our Son was Diagnosed with Aspergers at age 4 that we were both diagnosed as well.

By then, we's allready had another baby.... and yes-- by time she started pre-school, the depression, OCD and "Flat affect" were obvious....

It is hard enough to live with this-- but living with being un-diagnosed and thinking there is something "wrong" with you because of how everyone reacts to you.... is worse...

but NO where NEAR watching your children deal with it.

I am lucky-- we are ALL high functioning... My DS is about to graduate H.S. with a 3.4 GPS and heading to College for Computer Technology... he's gotten 4 scholorship offers! HE has dealt with it very well- he is one that is "in his own world" most of the time, HUGELY intellegent, and tho he is very kind, friendly and social-- is a real Loner..

DD is having a worse time...
She is HIGHLY social, VERY aware that she is "different", and shows tendencies toward Bi-polar and OCD...
It is so painful to try to help and can't--- she refuses any counseling... and no matter what we say, she is convinced it is because we "have to say that, you are my parents"...
She is Artistic, Smart, friendly and social--and gorgeous... but has a hard time fitting in-- the whole "flat affect" and mis-reading physical and social cues really throws her off. Not to mention 5 years of emotional torture at the hands of her classmates and a couple Teachers....She now goes to a new, bigger school, and is doing better, but still struggles.

Sorry for the rant-- it is just so HUGELY important that "norms" read and understand what us "nerds, geeks, weirdo's and dufus's" go thru... we aren't "dorky" our wiring is different...
it is like someone took an AM radio and re-wired it to play some of the FM stations-- but the Am keeps trying to sneak in over it...

Many of us CAN'T block out sounds, lights, physical stimulus etc... so get "overloaded"...

We aren't "The Rainman"... tho some of our friends are borderline low-functioning or show savant tendencies...
We just want to "fit in" and be treated with the same courtesy, respect and kindness that is shown to others.

Again-- Thank You SO MUCH!

 

[BarkerChickens]

I notice also in the above post your brother is a CAD drafter/engineer and you are a doctor. This is seen frequently, where parents, siblings, and the person who has autism is highly skilled in engineering, computer science, etc. "due to" their differences in the brain. This is being studied. There is a fear that if the several genes responsible for autism are altered there may be a world without these minds. Here I will note that it is not only engineering, math, and computer science-type fields, but art, music, writing, etc. that people with autism may excel in.

I am not a doctor, however, the sciences run in our family most definitely. I am a hydrogeologist (groundwater/earth scientist). My mom and stepdad (brother's dad) are both civil engineers. I completely agree that people wiht autism have tendecies towards engineering, computers, etc. My brother is a computer whiz (family computer tech and he builds all of our machines!), a brain when it comes to cars (does his own modifications) and has contemplated which engineering he wants to go into (civil, structural, mechanical (for automotive), etc).

He does not see autism as a disability...it is just who he is! I love that attitude! He remembers what he felt when he was little before his treatment and hopes to someday be able to give talks, etc. He remembers feeling that he was in his own world and everyone was outside of it. To me, it is amazing to hear what goes on in the mind of someone who was considered severely autism since most cannot communicate.

I also agree that parents need to be involved! If thye don't want to be involved, then they shouldn't have had children!​

 

[ursusarctosana]

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Wow! Your post was an amazing read--for me. It reminds me that, while those of us with autism are so different from one another, we are also strikingly similar--almost scarily so. You described my son when you described your own, except my son is not pursuing college, yet. And your daughter, well, you know yourself that she has autism, right? But this is a good example of how a girl can be overlooked.

I have an aunt who is diagnosed bi-polar and all of her life she's been in and out of institutions. She has the flat affect and is famous for one-liners. She's so bright, too. I can see the autism. I always wonder if she is suffering unnecessarily taking all of that medication so she's like a zombie and I wonder if knowing she had autism would help her. I always wonder.

I think though, no matter that we suffer so much, the world needs us. I really think they do.

You described my situation when you said: "I went thru life knowing something was "wrong" with me... my social skills were WAY off... I am Very social, but body language, facial expression etc.. throws me... and People allways got mad and called me a "know it all" because I read voraciously and absorb it all... and allways try to help with what I've learned if I can..."

I've had people stop me in mid-sentence and say, "Look, I'm not interested in what you found out about hobo spiders today. It doesn't make sense to me. I have a headache. Why can't you understand that?"

Those words cut me like a knife. I had no idea that my five minute overjoyed rambling was so annoying to a person who could pierce my eardrums on the phone talking about a relationship problem for an hour. I just couldn't understand.

Reciprocation, eh? It seems I have to play by neurotypical rules or else! I find that I can't chat with people or make friends because everyone is talking about People Magazine and none of that makes any sense to me. I don't care about what celebrities are doing and I don't understand the fascination with celebrity culture just like people who do do not want to listen to me talk about raising chickens.

Sometimes there is a bit of pain and loneliness in not being able to share, but it seems to get easier as I get older because I have given up, so-to-speak, on making new friends.

 

[BarkerChickens]

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As a hydrogeologist, I had to laugh out loud....literally! We have a knack for smelling (and licking) rocks too, though I can say I haven't sniffed the asbestos. There are many things you can tell by the smell and taste of a rock or mineral!

I remember growing up with my brother having his shirt over his nose half the time. EVERYTHING smelled and tasted nasty to him. He was the most difficult kid to feed since tastes and smells were so offensive. Luckily for him, the treatment took care of the taste one...smells, however.....not so much.

 

[ScoobyRoo]

Hi there ursusarctosana, Kudos to you for speaking out. Autism is not in our family but I am around others in our small community that have autistic children. Just the other night Rainman (with Dustin Hoffman) was on T.V. My kids are aware to a certain degree about autism. They asked a question that I could not give a good answer to. They asked " If they have autism will they 'snap' out of it?'' All I could think of was to say was 'some get better with support and some stay the same all their lives'. What is the right answer?
Again, thank you for educating us on this subject that some people seem to ignore or deny.

 

[ursusarctosana]

Henry'schickens :

Hi there ursusarctosana, Kudos to you for speaking out. Autism is not in our family but I am around others in our small community that have autistic children. Just the other night Rainman (with Dustin Hoffman) was on T.V. My kids are aware to a certain degree about autism. They asked a question that I could not give a good answer to. They asked " If they have autism will they 'snap' out of it?'' All I could think of was to say was 'some get better with support and some stay the same all their lives'. What is the right answer?
Again, thank you for educating us on this subject that some people seem to ignore or deny.

LOL. The only answer I can give you is to ask a question, "If they are neurotypical will they 'snap' out of it?" LOL.

I'm kidding. It's all relative, I think. I always wonder when people will become smarter in general or choose to read more. People may wonder when I will loosen up and have fun. We may all keep wondering this and not enjoying what we CAN do together.

There have been many cases where a child who is diagnosed as "severely affected" is taught, with consistency and patience, a way to communicate using neurotypical channels. Once a "severely affected" child begins typing responses to questions everyone finds out the child had opinions, philosophies, and awareness of everything that had been going on around him/her for years. Then everyone is flabbergasted as if suddenly having that outlet of communication made the child connected, or human. Granted, I understand that the communication is extremely important, but I think it is a mistake to not treat the children as if they are a part of everything and aware all along. One day they may write a book or communicate something so amazing that it changes lives. You can be sure, if they have to press individual buttons and this is difficult for them, what they have to say will be succinct.

(Not like me. I type fast and can be wordy.)​

 

[AngieChick]

After my 12 yo DS kicked my rear (yet again) at MahJong, he just laughed and said never go against someone with Aspergers in a pattern game

He excels in art and science (like many in my family) and has a keen sense of math. He is a brilliant child. Yes there are struggles, we are in the midst right now of trying to keep him engaged and going to school without meltdowns. I hope that eventually he can see all of the wonderful beautiful attributes in himself that I see.