Not Coping

[priss]

Hi guys,
Sorry to pester. I have three calls all girls and three weeks ago added a boy duck. One of my girls had some egg issues towards the end of the laying season and the guy who gave them to us said having a boy might help those issues. He also would like the eggs to incubate because they are a line of ducks he has bred for years, but recently lost his pair to a badger attack

Anyway, for the first two weeks my littlest duck chased the boy ragged. She never bit him but she did chase him constantly. Then after putting up with that for so long, he has turned around and is kicking the crud out of her. He is ignoring the other two girls and just attacking my littlest girl over and over and over again. Yesterday he mated her five times that I saw and probably more that I didn't She is exhausted so I gave her half an hour in the hut where she fell straight asleep. (After half an hour she was quacking to come out because she hates being apart from the other two) I am not coping, really not coping. She comes running to hide behind my legs. She screams when he pulls out her feathers. One time he pulled a load of feathers out and like a cartoon went ptoooooey before running after her again. With him not chasing the other two I have effectively on drake to one hen right? The guy who gave him to us said by text that I am overprotective (I do spoil them) and it will sort it out. My husband who is at work all day and doesn't have to listen to her scream, thinks I'm daft and that if something isn't important to him, then no matter how much it means to me, it's not important at all (in my bad books for arranging to trips away and his family coming to visit during the submission month of my phd. As a result of which I failed and have to do it again. AAAAAAAAAAARGHHHH)
I can't give him straight back to the guy who gave him to us because he is away at the moment. But I think he will be back in a week or so. I want to give him back NOW.
Any help, tips, advice, sympathy lol, would be good. When I separated him he just went mad. Even when Doog was taking a nap in the hut he was going mad trying to get in. This is killing me. I haven't gotten any work done since we got him. Goodbye PhD down the toilet and the two writing jobs that I am three weeks behind in...
Sorry to vent guys but I am losing it. Lo-sing-it.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[BlacksheepCardigans]

If you don't get a PhD because of a duck, that's going in my list of Worst PhD Stories Ever (the current reigning king is "My Thesis and All My Notes Burned in a Fire," followed closely by "My Advisor Dropped Dead").

Seriously, you sound sleep deprived and like you need to go away for a while - can they find you a room on campus to work in? Is your advisor helping you? I think the duck is just your brain grabbing something to freak out about when you're actually far more worried about your degree.

Pull the drake and one of the other hens out and put them somewhere until you get some sleep. You can rotate him with the different ducks, collect all their eggs for the week, and give his owner a bunch of eggs and the drake when he gets back.

 

[duckyfromoz]

Larry does sound like a handful. I have a little girl that I really didnt want near drakes. She is blind and my little precious girl. I was flapping my arms around and yelling at the drake first time I saw him trying to get at her. But surprisingly Noggin who has become like a protector to her is very gentle. He does not leave her side and acts as her eyes guiding her with his voice. Its quite amazing to watch. This doesnt help you in your situation though...but I can understand your fear for Doog.

Have you tried putting Doog and one of the girls together , and letting Larry with one other girl. If neither Doog nor Larry is put into total seclusion they may cope better with partial separation.

 

[priss]

Thank you guys, you are right, it is a sucky reason to fail but I really cannot concentrate. I have already overcome so much, you wouldn't believe the obstacles my husband put in place, including applying for and getting a job a six hour journey away from my university. That however is just one way he has come close to trashing my PhD. However with my husband I can lock myself in the summerhouse and work. With the ducks, wherever I am in the house I can hear Doog screamin. And cannot cannot stop worrying about her, even when they are all locked up in bed I just lie awake at night fretting. In fact I'm fretting so much I have made myself sick

I am going to have to separate Doog again for a bit today to give her a break. I might try putting one of the others in with her but have no idea which duck to leave out with him. Either of them will be pretty upset about it.
Plus to add to my stress, my sister announced she is getting divorced a week ago. And my one safe place, my one haven, my back garden is like full on battlegrounds. It is also the place where I get most work done, even in the winter I just layer on up and work out there.
GAHHH! Sorry to vent, but thank you so much for responding. It helps, it really does!
xxxxx

 

[BorderKelpie]

May I suggest a break. You poor thing, you sound so very overwhelmed. I am sorry.

Maybe meditating far away from the ducks. Light a few candles, soft music and soak in the tub a bit. Take a walk, go to the park and watch children play (maybe not so much this time of year, but..)

You need/deserve a break - just a few hours or even a day. I know you're in a hurry to finish, but you're not helping yourself at all this way. You can work more effectively once you give yourself a timeout. Can a friend or someone come over and sit with them a bit? Can someone come over and sit with you for a bit? You need a little fun and relaxation. There is nothing wrong with that. You need it.

Please, take a little break. The ducks will be ok, I promise. Split them up - two little girls together and the monster boy with maybe your most assertive girl. Then switch them around. He'll wear out eventually. (won't he?)

ps: There is nothing you can do for your sister by worrying. You can just love her and support her. Just be there for her. Maybe the two of you just need to sit together and share a glass (or bottle lol) of wine.
Relax, you're going to be ok, your ducks are going to be ok. Hang in there.

 

[priss]

Thank you Borderkelpie.
I have to clean the house for my parents to come. But I am putting episodes of the Brittas Empire on my laptop to watch while I'm doing it. Haven't seen it for years, it is the best relaxation I can get at the moment lol.
My sister lives in America so none of us can comfort her. That is driving us all a bit mad.
My husband moved me to an island. I don't know anyone here lol! My ducks are my best friends!!!
Doog is in the small run under the hut. It is all calm out there. I know I will have to let her out in a bit but I am scrubbing the floor and enjoying not hearing her scream.
Thank you for you reply, I will have that bottle of wine with my mum tonight. I'm pretty sure it is going to help! Somehow just reading your messages helps! Makes me know I'm not alone!
Thank you guys.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Toast n Jelly]

Is there any reason that you cannot separate them? My first thought was to put that drake in a cage or pen with food and water and wait out the return of the person that you got him from.
Just do it and stop that poor ducks' suffering.

Oh, you might wanna put your husband in there with him...

 

[priss]

When I put him in a separate hut he started beating himself on the bars. I got terrified he was going to really hurt himself.

 

[priss]

Lol and ya, my husband is gonna spend the night in the hut tonight!!!

 

[Toast n Jelly]

Quote:
Make a choice on who gets hurt, him or her. But do MAKE a choice!