Dear MIL,
I can't hear hear when you when you make those horrible chirruping noises in your fake baby-doll voice. You KNOW I am deaf in the one ear, and that my range of hearing is limited when it comes to the human voice.
Whispering "Hi Sweetie!" (like Mahodri on Outsourced) is not going to get you a good morning.
Also: people, husband, dogs, kids, and chickens are constantly clamoring for my attention. Add in the noise of the washer, the dishwasher, the chickens, the wild ratbirds, the neighbors' chickens, the freeway, the TV the DH left on, the dogs, and the noise of whatever I am doing is making---and I tend to tune out. SO, if you want my attention-- darn say my name. Don't call me sweetie, or honey, or dear, or any other condecending sweet-tooth name you pull out of your arsehole. Laree isn't gonna get my attention either, so suck it up and say LARISSA.
Finally, if I don't respond fast enough, I probably didn't hear you. Don't get all butt-hurt and scoot off in a huff. I won't know why you are mad, and at this point, I don't care.
Shut up,
Crankypants