Office Work, Part Deux: Professional Mayhen

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Now I want a bacon cheeseburger for lunch.

Can you hear me noming on a cheeseburger? It's plain and I can taste the essence of char-grill in it.
 
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Why do people feel free to correct me when I answer the stupid phone? DO I CARE IF ITS MORNING OR AFTERNOON?
No. Its a greeting folks. It says I answered the stupid phone and gave you time to process who you're calling.

I DO NOT CARE IF ITS REALLY AFTERNOON OR NOT.

I mean really. Ask for who you want and let me direct your call. DO NOT clear your throat when I answer or correct my greeting and we will get along just fine.

See, this week has been DELIGHTFUL in that I don't have to talk to a lot of people or answer the phone. It's NICE.

Until now when I get this horrible llama spit mess of crap. Now I have to go hunt down some llamas to smack them stupid. Only I can't do that. I'm just going to put on my spit shield and drag them by their stupid halters to the manager so I can verbally smack them down in front of the manager so HE can deal with the smackage that really needs to be done.

One would think I have enough freaking crap going on today to NOT ADD MORE. This stupid llama is going down and going down hard. Once I get this mess cleared up.

I answered the phone earlier today going "If you are just calling to whine at me, I'm going to hang up." It was DH.
 
Did he whine?
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I answer the phone "Schaufler and Schaufler OB/GYN how may I help you"......I almost always get is this Dr. Schaufler office......One day I'm gonna say nope its the office of H>>>E>>>>>.......
 
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I like to asnwer that question with, "If its not, then I'm at the working at the wrong place today."
This is usually followed by a moment of silence.....


I also like it when they say, "Is ___ around?"
Because then I can say, "No, he's a square. Would you like to talk to him anyway?"
Also usually followed by a moment of silence. And then they either say "yes' in a subdued voice or they laugh....
 
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Now I want a bacon cheeseburger for lunch.

Can you hear me noming on a cheeseburger? It's plain and I can taste the essence of char-grill in it.

Not over the sound of the screaming in my head. Sorry. But I am so going down to get a delightfully greasy bacon cheeseburger and cheese frenchie for lunch with my cube-neighbor. We are going to split said items so we aren't total piggies. Then we are going over to Red Mango for frozen yogurt, which will turn us into total piggies. It's ok, we are pregnant, we can be piggies together. Anyone who is snotty about it will face the wrath of broodies.
 
My line when they ask "Is _____ available?" "No, he's married, but you can talk to him if you like."
 
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Nope, just wanted to make sure he had the time correct to get to court. Then he said he was sorry I was having a crappy day AND he will fix dinner tonight.

I do love him.
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