Ended Official BYC Mini-contest - Tell us your funniest chicken story and win!

I see we have a few brand new members here. Welcome to BYC all of you!
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Glad you joined us!
 
These are great stories!

I don't currently have chickens, my daughter is 14 now, but when she was 6 we had five girls and she used to carry them everywhere. One day one of them got in the house. My husband chased her, all feathers and fury, across the couch, under the coffee table, over the entertainment center, past the kitchen,around the bedroom and back and forth this way for quite some time. Finally he asked the dog to help, she wanted no part of that chicken and went ouside, laid down and watched the foolishness through our sliding glass door. Miffed with the dog he asked me (who was enjoying the show shamelessly at his expense) if I could help. I suggested he ask our daughter because she always had one in her arms. He did and in seconds flat she had the chicken sitting in her lap on the porch swing, outside, calm as can be. I think my husbands feathers were ruffled more than that chicken's! Bested by a 6 year old girl. :D

I WILL have chickens again!
 
Wrote this a year or so ago... it made people laugh ;)


Dear Idiot Chicken –
I steal all the eggs. Those things you insist on sitting on and guarding with your life? Rocks. Seriously. I pulled them out of the garden and threw them under the water spout to keep the erosion down. They will not hatch no matter how much you want them too. Next year (or maybe later this summer if you're still in the mood) when the boys are old enough to do you any good, you can have babies...

And Part II from last February

Dear Jellybean –

Yes, you are a very nice chicken. I understand that you are confused by the weather and think it's spring time. I also understand that right now, you want very badly to be a mama. I fully expect you to be a mama… I got you so you could be a mama.

Guess what? Gathering fallen walnuts into a pile in the corner of the yard and sitting on them will not make you a mother. They are walnuts. Although you share a similar IQ, no matter how diligently you sit on them, they will not turn into babies for you. They don't care if you chase the other chickens away, they don't care how sweetly you purr at them, and they aren't capable of loving you back. Be patient, I will give you some eggs to sit on when it’s actually spring.
 
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<sigh> I can't even write a grocery list in less than 250 words. Great stories, everyone! I have one, but it's long and I posted it quite awhile back. Maybe I'll repost it here but stay out of the judging to be fair.
 
Last summer my six hens were out free ranging and I was working in the yard. I have two silkies, a Rhode Island Red, two americanas and a black Orpington. As I worked in the yard the girls were close around. We also have several cats which my daughter has rescued and a few of them were playing in the yard as well. The cats don't bother the chickens and all seem to get along quite well. One of the cats (Chloe) however, can be quote annoying with her persistent need for attention. She was in the yard pestering me while I was trying to work. I tried to shoo her away a couple of times without success. Then without warning my bantam white silkie hen stopped foraging and charged at the cat! Penelope persisted until she had chased the cat away from me! Once the cat had gone she went back to looking for bugs. I couldn't believe it! What a good little chicken to "protect" her owner! I felt so honored - but laughed and laughed.
 


These are 2 pics of my 1sr chickens I got 4 years ago. They would stand and play with that cabbage all day long till dark. The bottom picture is of them looking at me when they didn't have any cabbage left..
 
For 43 weeks I have been waiting and waiting for my EE, Sandy Cheeks to lay an egg. At around 33 weeks I began with verbal threats of making her into molé or getting her into the KFC bucket. Of course she would just roll her eyes at me and go on her merry way. Well, one day I was joking with my dad saying I was going to get my chicken-eating dog to chase her around the yard to threaten her and hopefully she'd lay an egg. A few days later Ms. Cheeks jumped out of the run while I was giving them feed. She's never done that before so I frantically tried to grab her before my son (see profile picture) saw her. Too late. He saw her and took off. This massive ball of feathers flew off around the yard, squawking her head off with a big, 90 pound german shepherd (not the chicken eating one) nipping at her heels. When I finally caught them, half of Ms. Cheeks' butt feathers were gone and she was shocked, but had no injuries. Needless to say she finally got the message and I received a beautiful dark green egg the next day.
 
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Last summer my six hens were out free ranging and I was working in the yard. I have two silkies, a Rhode Island Red, two americanas and a black Orpington. As I worked in the yard the girls were close around. We also have several cats which my daughter has rescued and a few of them were playing in the yard as well. The cats don't bother the chickens and all seem to get along quite well. One of the cats (Chloe) however, can be quote annoying with her persistent need for attention. She was in the yard pestering me while I was trying to work. I tried to shoo her away a couple of times without success. Then without warning my bantam white silkie hen stopped foraging and charged at the cat! Penelope persisted until she had chased the cat away from me! Once the cat had gone she went back to looking for bugs. I couldn't believe it! What a good little chicken to "protect" her owner! I felt so honored - but laughed and laughed.
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How funny! I was going to write basically the exact same story with my hen, Gracie. She is constantly chasing away wild birds, rabbits, cats and even deer!! She did that exact thing your's did!
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Mine were free-ranging in our suburban backyard when a car alarm went off up the street and they all ran back into the coop lol
You chickens!!
 

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