Parenting teens is HARD - rant! Update on pg.4

[hikerchick]

Quote:
I'm with you on this one hikerchick.
My husband and I attended a neighborhood cookout recently and were really amazed just how far most of the other parents had their heads stuck in the sand when it came to their own kids. What their kids have told them goes on with friends, outside of the house, is NOT the same thing(s) I've overheard or been told by the same children and my own.

My two boys are fairly good about letting us in on the real happenings because we are "cool" parents. (Don't get me wrong, we DO NOT allow underage keg parties at our house. I will not provide alcohol to someone else's child.) I do allow my own boys to have a few beers on occasion and tolerate their attendance of drinking parties.) Guess our coolness comes from not judging, yelling, overreacting, to what we hear/know.

I'd much rather try to guide my boys through what they are really experiencing than not know the truth about what's goes on in the teenage world these days.

Thank you!

 

[hunterjumper999]

Quote:
I agree with Hennys. From personal (very personal) experience.
There are kids that have brains.

My daughter has brains.

I think this is an ignorant statement ( not that your daughter has brains, but that she does not because she chose to drink or have sex).

It's not about what they do... having sex is a PERSONAL choice you do not make for your child. You can instill values in them and hope that they guide them through their journey but values are unique to each individual person.


I didnt drink till I was 18, but i wasn't 21. . . does this make me an idiot? Same thing with having sex. I 'experimented'

sexually from 14 onward but I guess that just makes me a giant, brainless idiot huh? No, im sure my parents had other dreams for me, but they gave me the facts and i was ready when I was ready.

Grade school kids are having sex- now .. .whos the idiot- the child or that parent?

 

[debilorrah]

I've read of few of the things you have said and a few comments, and here is mine. He sounds like his didn't do the attitude when he was 13-14 and is now having his turn. It wont last. My son was a late bloomer too and when he started with that I packed his stuff and set it on the porch. He was 16. He has been a different kid ever since. He left for two days. Of course I knew where he was - the other parents have kids the same age! He quickly lost his sense of entitlement. Each kid it takes a different tactic. I sure hope you find yours soon. Teenagers can be a real pain in the butt!

 

[Emzyyy]

mom doesn't let me do that, I do chores I get no money but she pays for me to do stuff the more chores I do the more places I get to go.

 

[babylady4]

Stick to your guns mom!

It sounds like he is a pretty good kid. When he is out I would only make the request of a phone call with his location and what time he will be home and if he changes location to call again... that was my mom's rule, we just had to let her know where we were (and this was before cell phones...).

Good luck! My oldest DD is going to be 14.... thank goodness she does not like boys yet!

 

[Davaroo]

Its worth reiterating that they know they are to do something with their lives. Its what society expects, and that is what they are trying to do. Its why they do some of the goofy and irresponsible things we worry over... because they haven't learned all the ropes.

Its a fact that they cant learn them until they are gone.
Like others said - stick to your guns and get him ready.

 

[thechickenchick]

Quote:
Your Mom is so smart!!

I just said that because that is they way it works at our house too! (although I am sure your Mom is smart

).

I think it is a child's responsibility to help around the house. Obviously age appropriate chores. The thing I explain to my son is you earn privileges. If you vacuum while I clean the toilet then I will have time to run you to town before Dad gets home. If you ask for $ to see a movie after you just threw a fit about changing cat boxes...uh NO!!

 

[Ol'FashionHen]

thechickenchick wrote:

Emzyyy wrote:
mom doesn't let me do that, I do chores I get no money but she pays for me to do stuff the more chores I do the more places I get to go.

Your Mom is so smart!! I just said that because that is they way it works at our house too! (although I am sure your Mom is smart ).

I think it is a child's responsibility to help around the house. Obviously age appropriate chores. The thing I explain to my son is you earn privileges. If you vacuum while I clean the toilet then I will have time to run you to town before Dad gets home. If you ask for $ to see a movie after you just threw a fit about changing cat boxes...uh NO!!

....

 

[Featherwisp]

Well, I am a teenager. I'm usually not at my house during the summer, and neither is my brother. He is always spending the night at his friends houses, or going with them places.
I never used to leave home. I was a homebody until I met my boyfriend. He showed me what living was about, and with him I went out and met a lot more people from his youth group. He has taught me how to ride dirtbikes, a stick shift car, how to play paintball, make campfires, and lots of other fun things.
During the weekdays I am never home, but that is because my parents work during the days and they dont allow anybody over while they are gone. I always hang out at his house, but only if another adult is their and I have my parents permission. I am required to call them before I go and do anything. Without permission, I am grounded.

A social life for a teenager is very important. Going out and having fun with the people you know and enjoy are great adventures that you dont want to miss out on. I think every teen goes through this stage, when they think social status is all that is important. Licenses, jobs, significant others, colleges, careers...reality soon strikes, and really brings them down to earth. I went through that in 9th grade, and it wasn't fun.
He will grow out of it, I am sure... give him time. After highschool passes, the important things in life really begin to shine clearly.

 

[First To Hatch]

I am also a teenager... I'm working this summer four days a week 1 PM to 9:30 PM, but I'm spending the money on whatever I want (sadly thats incubators, wire, and eggs

). In the beginning of the summer I hang out with my friends every single day. Now because I am so busy I haven't seen any of them since the 4th of July. I stayed out till 2 AM with my friends, my father freaked, and I was mad at him why? because the other parent told him we'd be back late but I was still in trouble so I was grounded. Technically I'm just rambling but all I'm saying is I think we do need to be controlled, my friend can do whatever he wants whenever, and I know hes gunna get hit tough in life even tho I wish my parents were like his I'm also kinda happy they aren't. He calls his mom by her name which I can't believe, and he treats her like his slave and she still does anything he wants.

I hate my parents for being strict but in a way I understand why, I'm not allowed to have a girlfriend till I'm 18 which is kinda upsetting but not really because everyone my age is going out for show and tell if a girl wants to go out with me just to say she is? Waste of money and time to me I'll go out with a girl when I really like her and am more serious about things like that.

Just my two useless $0.02