Pickle Farming

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Hi Annie!!! That made me laugh out loud how funny!! Glad you're doing well!!
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Would you mind sharing the recipe? My girls and I are making pickles this summer to put back. Cause they LOVE pickles after school!

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And, I am inendated with cukes rigth now.. pickling and reg. burpless. I tried pickling the reg ones last year and they kinda turned out like old-fashioned cucumbers and onions.. softer. Maybe I just flubbed up somehow or does everyone pickle "pickling cucumbers" ??? Thanks!
 
Okay. I'll share!

Funeral Pickles

Ingredients:
15-16 lbs of small to med cucumbers
2 c pickling salt- with the canning supplies
1 box powdered alum (2.25 oz)- mine comes in a plastic bottle and is on the spice aisle
1 gallon red vinegar (I use apple cider vinegar and it generally takes 2 gallons.)
1 box pickling spice (1.12 oz)- also found on the spice aisle.
cheesecloth or new pantyhose
10lbs sugar (I use three bags. I think that's 12 lbs.)

Cover the whole cucumbers with brine made from the salt and a gallon of cold water. I use a five gallon paint bucket with a tight fitting lid. I put the washed cucumbers in and then pour the brine mixture over it all. It usually takes more water than the recipe calls for. I make up twice what the original recipe calls for (so 4c salt in 2 gallons water). Cucumbers float. To pickle them they have to be under the brine mixture. If they are poking up into air they will mold and you have to throw the whole thing out. I take a dinner plate and push it down onto the cucumber/water mixture. I then sit a large ceramic bowl on top of that and fill it with water to add weight. That pushes the plate down into the water and keeps the cucumbers under water. Put the lid on tight and let it soak for 8 days. Sounds gross, yes?
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After 8 days remove from brine, wash thoroughly and slice. I dump them all into a large strainer, rinse out the bucket and then slice them back into the 5 gallon bucket. Sometimes at this point the cucumbers are translucent. Something they are still cucumbery looking. I have no idea why that is. In a perfect world they would be translucent. If not, no big deal. It still works.
Dissolve the alum in a gallon of water and pour over the cucumber slices. Again, it usually takes me more than a gallon of water to cover the cucumbers. Sometimes I add more alum. Sometimes not. The alum makes them crunchy. I think it's ground aluminum or something like that. You'll want to rinse them off really good after this step. Let the cucumber slices sit in the alum water for 24 hours. Remove and rinse thoroughly.

Pour the vinegar over the cucumber slices. Let it sit for 24 hours. Sometimes I let it sit longer on the vinegar. Depends on how much kick you want the pickles to have. I like a little twang to mine so I let it sit two days. Drain and discard the vinegar. Do not rinse the slices.

Layer the slices with sugar and pickling spice. Trust me when I say you definitely want to put those spices in cheesecloth or pantyhose. It makes a huge mess if you don't. I usually double layer the cheesecloth and tie it up into a ball. I toss the ball in about halfway down. Keep layering slices and sugar until you run out. Let it sit until the sugar is dissolved (a couple of days to a week or so). I peek at mine after a couple of days and start stirring it up so all the sugar will dissolve. Once it's all dissolved, put into clean canning jars and screw on the lid. You don't have to seal the lids or anything. The lady that gave me the recipe just kept hers in the bucket and ate out of that. I run jars through the dishwasher and then dump in the pickles. It's loads easier if you get wide mouthed jars. Be prepared to rinse all the jars off when your done. It gets really messy jarring them up. They'll stay good as long as they last!

Things I've learned through the years-
-If you eat a slice right out of the bucket it will have a mighty kick to it. The longer you can hold off and let the slices rest in the sugar mixture, the mellower they will be. I have found that they are actually best after a couple of months. Somehow everything blends. They are really, really strong right out of the bucket.
- Skinnier cucumbers work best. The fat ones have seeds in the middle and they are soggy. Smaller is better.
- Cucumbers in a 5 gallon bucket are really heavy. You'll want this to live near the sink.
- If you don't seal the lid on tight, things will either mold or expand and put icky brine water all over the kitchen. Thus the 5 gallon paint bucket with sealable lid. Home Depot has these.

Good luck!
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