Please help me save my bird

[SarahLadd]

I am so very sorry you lost Amber. It's heartbreaking. I have both pets and meat birds, and am quite good at processing the meat birds, but with the lack of any progress you describe, I don't know if I could bring myself to home-autopsy a beloved pet either. You might find something, like others state, but it would really be a toss up if I could personally do it.

I know it's been a few days, you may already have made different decisions, but if it were me, I'd pick a different state veterinary lab to send Amber off to. I'd call a number of other labs, describe the issues, share Aura and the others' test results, and see if there's different tests than can be run on Amber and any other chickens you lose in the future. There's got to be someone out there who can help you figure out what's going on. I'd also be deep diving into the MERCK veterinary manual, among other sources, to see what illnesses are hard to diagnose /identify but have low/zero body fat as a symptom, along with the other neurological symptoms that have been seen in the past. And they may still have died of different causes.

I'm so sorry you lost another beloved pet. Sending you many supportive thoughts and prayers.

It's too late to send her anywhere. She is in the freezer. While I was at work before Xmas my husband cut her open to confirm or deny aspergillosis. He went straight for the lungs and trachea, saw nothing unusual and put her in the freezer. He didn't take any pictures. I'm sorry.

He loved Amber more than I thought he did. Or maybe we are just taking this so badly because all we've done is lose things we love this year. He lot his dad and uncle to cancer this year. We lost our collie Meeka, then nearly lost Constellation, then lost Aura and now immediately lost Amber. It feels like all we do is grieve around here.

We also nearly lost the footage of Amber's death. My husband did not want to watch it. But he's the only one with access to the camera. I waited to ask him for the footage within minutes of it beginning to overwrite. When I have it to post I will.

I keep telling myself I need to make peace with never knowing what's happening to my pet birds. But my spirit won't rest on it. I want to know what's going on. I feel terrible for torturing Seth to watch her die again so I can get the footage. She died while we were asleep. I don't know what we could have done for her. I don't know what lessons I could learn that could help me be a better caretaker for the ones that are left.

I feel like I need to learn something from this to not come away empty handed but I'm hamstrung with crippling sadness and find myself unable to really push the forensics.

 

[BigBlueHen53]

It's too late to send her anywhere. She is in the freezer. While I was at work before Xmas my husband cut her open to confirm or deny aspergillosis. He went straight for the lungs and trachea, saw nothing unusual and put her in the freezer. He didn't take any pictures. I'm sorry.

He loved Amber more than I thought he did. Or maybe we are just taking this so badly because all we've done is lose things we love this year. He lot his dad and uncle to cancer this year. We lost our collie Meeka, then nearly lost Constellation, then lost Aura and now immediately lost Amber. It feels like all we do is grieve around here.

We also nearly lost the footage of Amber's death. My husband did not want to watch it. But he's the only one with access to the camera. I waited to ask him for the footage within minutes of it beginning to overwrite. When I have it to post I will.

I keep telling myself I need to make peace with never knowing what's happening to my pet birds. But my spirit won't rest on it. I want to know what's going on. I feel terrible for torturing Seth to watch her die again so I can get the footage. She died while we were asleep. I don't know what we could have done for her. I don't know what lessons I could learn that could help me be a better caretaker for the ones that are left.

I feel like I need to learn something from this to not come away empty handed but I'm hamstrung with crippling sadness and find myself unable to really push the forensics.

I'm so sorry for your many losses. I can't even imagine what you all are ging through.

 

[FunClucks]

It's too late to send her anywhere. She is in the freezer. While I was at work before Xmas my husband cut her open to confirm or deny aspergillosis. He went straight for the lungs and trachea, saw nothing unusual and put her in the freezer. He didn't take any pictures. I'm sorry.

He loved Amber more than I thought he did. Or maybe we are just taking this so badly because all we've done is lose things we love this year. He lot his dad and uncle to cancer this year. We lost our collie Meeka, then nearly lost Constellation, then lost Aura and now immediately lost Amber. It feels like all we do is grieve around here.

We also nearly lost the footage of Amber's death. My husband did not want to watch it. But he's the only one with access to the camera. I waited to ask him for the footage within minutes of it beginning to overwrite. When I have it to post I will.

I keep telling myself I need to make peace with never knowing what's happening to my pet birds. But my spirit won't rest on it. I want to know what's going on. I feel terrible for torturing Seth to watch her die again so I can get the footage. She died while we were asleep. I don't know what we could have done for her. I don't know what lessons I could learn that could help me be a better caretaker for the ones that are left.

I feel like I need to learn something from this to not come away empty handed but I'm hamstrung with crippling sadness and find myself unable to really push the forensics.

I'm so very sorry you're dealing with all of this. So much loss and heartache all at once makes everything harder. Be kind to yourself, give yourself grace, space to grieve, and don't feel guilty if you just don't have it in you to push the forensics at this time. It's okay to take a break from actively dealing with this and come back to it in a few months when the grief is not as fresh. In the meantime, try to focus on and love your remaining pets and family members. Recall the good times you had with those who've passed away and know that you gave your beloved chickens the best possible life they could have had. Try not to let your memories of the end of their lives overshadow the many enjoyable and happy memories you have of them living. You did and have done your absolute best for them. Sometime crap just happens and life really sucks for a while, but it won't suck forever.

Also, when you feel ready, I strongly recommend both you and your husband talk with a grief counselor. You both have had a lot of significant losses one after the other, and just talking about things can help you process them. Your husband and you may grieve differently - being there for each other in your individual journeys as much as you can is one thing I learned from going through the process myself - you may not be able to support each other very much since you're both grieving at the same time, which is where talking to a trained professional can be very helpful. The loss of your pets and human family members can both leave similar wounds on your soul. Both types of losses should be taken equally seriously. Don't try to minimize the grief for your pets because "it's only an animal".

I've lost both very beloved pets and my firstborn child. I've been through the grieving process a number of times - it will eventually get better, although it can take years. Do whatever you need to do to find closure, and take whatever time you need to get there. Sending you many supportive thoughts and prayers.

 

[SarahLadd]

Necropsy date: 12-13-24 Findings: The bantam hen is in fair condition (no abdominal fat, 502 grams body weight) and is not in production. The crop contains mash feed as does the small intestine. The gizzard contains grit/limestone. No other gross lesions are noted.
Bacteriology: No significant growth from intestine, lung and liver. Salmonella culture is negative.
Histopathology:
Lung: Adjacent to three parabronchi are small granulomas containing anthracosilicotic (dust) pigment. The granulomas are negative for microorganisms by GMS, Gram and acid-fast stains.
No microscopic lesions are observed in sections of liver, kidney, brain, pancreas, intestine, spleen, nasal cavity, trachea, crop, proventriculus, gizzard, heart, sciatic nerve, ovary
Molecular diagnostics:
Trachea is negative for avian influenza virus, Newcastle disease virus and Mycoplasma gallisepticum by PCR.
Parasitology: No nematode ova or coccidial oocysts observed in fecal float.
Diagnosis: Cause of death undetermined
Comment: No metallic objects were observed in the digestive tract; however, liver has been saved if you would like to test for heavy metal exposure. There is no evidence of infectious diseases, such as Marek's disease, that would affect other chickens in the flock.

I have requested the toxicology report. If anything, to soothe myself that I've done everything I can.