Postmortem regrets ...

[cate1124]

I've been keeping hens for more than 20 years, and losing them just seems to get harder, especially when I feel I could have prevented it. I am looking for consolation, I guess, or at least company.

I lost my beautiful 3-year-old cream legbar Anabel -- happy, healthy, sweet-natured, hard-working -- to a roaming neighbor dog yesterday. Loose dogs are uncommon but not unheard of on my street. Anabel loved to fly over the fence to scratch and peck nearby; she never went far, and lately had favored a protected area beneath a maple tree right outside the fence. She seemed to enjoy it so much; I would eventually check on the girls, find her out and return her to the fenced yard.

I was inside and didn't witness the attack, but neighbors saw the dog running off with her and alerted me. From the feather pile, it appears he cornered and pounced on her as she was trying to get back into the yard; unfortunately, the fence blocked her return. My guess is that the dog saw the rest of the flock in the fenced side yard and discovered her out when he came down my driveway to see if he could get at them. Though I found her down the road a bit after getting everyone else in the coop (they were freaked, obviously) and she had no visible wounds, she was breathing very heavily and could not really get up. I gave her some electrolytes for shock, but I think she had internal injuries from being pounced on. She died a couple hours later.

If I had weighted her risk more accurately against her pleasure, I might have trimmed her flight feathers to keep her from flying out. Or, having decided to let her enjoy her little escapes, I should have checked on her more frequently to return her to the fenced yard. I did neither, and thus put her in harm's way. "You did your best," people say, but I really didn't. I had grown complacent about her safety and did not consider carefully enough that what did happen could happen.

How do you work with postmortem regret, the knowledge that something you did, or did not do, contributed to a hen's death? That something you could have, should have, have done differently might have prevented the loss? I've had this experience before, missing a sign of illness I thought after I should have spotted, not adequately weighing predator risk. (A bobcat jumped the fence about five years ago and made off with a hen; dusk was approaching, and if I had gotten them in a little earlier, they might have been safe.) It's so painful to lose an animal you love. To think you could have prevented the loss is of course that much harder.

I'd really appreciate hearing others' experience and would gladly accept whatever consolation you can offer. I know this is part of chicken-keeping, but I sometimes just feel like I can't face one more death. Thank you.

 

[BigBlueHen53]

Don't beat yourself up. We're human and we can't predict every possibility, every contingency, every "what-if." You can make yourself sick and crazy doing that. You DID do your best, based on what you knew of the situation at the time. As far as you knew, she was safe and having a good time. You could not know that on THAT day, at THAT time, THAT dog would come along and change things. That's not on you. That's just under the category of .. "shtuff happens." Stuff happens. A raccoon comes along. A hawk flies over. You can't keep them 100% safe, all the time. All you can do is the best you can do. We all know what you're going through. We've all been there. The joy of sharing our lives with these funny, lovely, silly critters is, for us, worth the pain of the occasional loss - painful though it is.

 

[Mrs. K]

Yes, I agree with the above. You are feeling guilty because someone else dog attacked your bird on your property, a bird that escaped her security. Repeat that outloud, not your fault. Really. However I have lost numerous birds to a predator, in the day and in the night and it ALWAYS your favorite.

Long ago, I gave up keeping birds, I keep a flock. Birds move into and out of the flock. As my granddaughter says, "Dang it, ... but now we can get chicks!"

Chickens really are not real long lived. Yes, I feel bad, especially when it is my favorite, but it is part of the game. Chickens are a prey animal.

Mrs K

 

[cate1124]

Don't beat yourself up. We're human and we can't predict every possibility, every contingency, every "what-if." You can make yourself sick and crazy doing that. You DID do your best, based on what you knew of the situation at the time. As far as you knew, she was safe and having a good time. You could not know that on THAT day, at THAT time, THAT dog would come along and change things. That's not on you. That's just under the category of .. "shtuff happens." Stuff happens. A raccoon comes along. A hawk flies over. You can't keep them 100% safe, all the time. All you can do is the best you can do. We all know what you're going through. We've all been there. The joy of sharing our lives with these funny, lovely, silly critters is, for us, worth the pain of the occasional loss - painful though it is.

Thanks so much for your kindness and helping me feel less alone. You're right: I don't know a chicken-keeper who hasn't, through a lack of foresight if not accidental harm or injury to a chicken, at lecontributed to a hen's death. If you had asked me before yesterday what was more likely -- a hawk strike or a dog attack -- I would have replied "hawk strike" without hesitation. And beneath that maplittle Anabel would have been better protected from that than the girls within the fence.

Don't beat yourself up. We're human and we can't predict every possibility, every contingency, every "what-if." You can make yourself sick and crazy doing that. You DID do your best, based on what you knew of the situation at the time. As far as you knew, she was safe and having a good time. You could not know that on THAT day, at THAT time, THAT dog would come along and change things. That's not on you. That's just under the category of .. "shtuff happens." Stuff happens. A raccoon comes along. A hawk flies over. You can't keep them 100% safe, all the time. All you can do is the best you can do. We all know what you're going through. We've all been there. The joy of sharing our lives with these funny, lovely, silly critters is, for us, worth the pain of the occasional loss - painful though it is.

Don't beat yourself up. We're human and we can't predict every possibility, every contingency, every "what-if." You can make yourself sick and crazy doing that. You DID do your best, based on what you knew of the situation at the time. As far as you knew, she was safe and having a good time. You could not know that on THAT day, at THAT time, THAT dog would come along and change things. That's not on you. That's just under the category of .. "shtuff happens." Stuff happens. A raccoon comes along. A hawk flies over. You can't keep them 100% safe, all the time. All you can do is the best you can do. We all know what you're going through. We've all been there. The joy of sharing our lives with these funny, lovely, silly critters is, for us, worth the pain of the occasional loss - painful though it is.

Thank you for your kindness and helping me feel less alone. If you'd asked me yesterday what was more likely - a dog attack or hawk strike -- I would have answered "hawk strike" without hesitation. But what you say about THAT day, THAT time, THAT dog resonates. I just hate those first days after a loss , when doing the head count to make sure everyone is secure. One less; one less. And that she was in her prime, with so much good life ahead. Thanks again.

 

[cate1124]

Yes, I agree with the above. You are feeling guilty because someone else dog attacked your bird on your property, a bird that escaped her security. Repeat that outloud, not your fault. Really. However I have lost numerous birds to a predator, in the day and in the night and it ALWAYS your favorite.

Long ago, I gave up keeping birds, I keep a flock. Birds move into and out of the flock. As my granddaughter says, "Dang it, ... but now we can get chicks!"

Chickens really are not real long lived. Yes, I feel bad, especially when it is my favorite, but it is part of the game. Chickens are a prey animal.

Mrs K

Thank you, Mrs. K. I totally understand the distinction between having a flock and having individual chickens. It wouldn't hurt me to develop more of that mindset, but after 20-some years, this is my last flock (I'm 64) and already bonded to them (especially the elders) as individuals. I appreciate your kindness and wish you many more chicks! They are little wonders, so cute and capable right out of the egg.

 

[KRack]

The way I see it, you let her do what made her happy. She knew what gave her pleasure, and you respected that, which is far more than most chickens get to experience. Chickens don’t have the longest lifespan, and the life she was blessed to lead, was full of love and easy living. You’re not in control here. You can think of what you’d do in every single scenario, but eventually, everything dies. The worry of loss cannot overshadow the joy of the moment, because what’s the point of it all if it does. Thinking you could have done more is a weight you shouldn’t expect yourself to carry. The Lord gives me tremendous peace in these moments, so I’ll pray He provides the same for you.

But for what it’s worth, I believe you did a beautiful thing by letting her make her own choices about happiness. If you try to prevent every bad thing, you sometimes have take away the good…when the bad may never come.

My chickens free range, and I know they’re happier out there taking their chances than when they’re fenced in. I know this by the fact that they try so hard to escape when I’ve closed them in for a time. They try to find a way out and squawk at me relentlessly. So no matter what happens when they’re out…I believe it’s the chance they’d like to take with their lives, and I do my best to respect that because I love them and have their happiness in mind.

Hugs friend

 

[Jenbirdee]

Im so sorry about Annabelle. please accept my sincere sympathy. we want to protect them from everything, but we are not God. Annabelle enjoys the maple tree shade over the rainbow bridge

 

[fuzzi]

I've been keeping hens for more than 20 years, and losing them just seems to get harder, especially when I feel I could have prevented it. I am looking for consolation, I guess, or at least company.

I lost my beautiful 3-year-old cream legbar Anabel -- happy, healthy, sweet-natured, hard-working -- to a roaming neighbor dog yesterday. Loose dogs are uncommon but not unheard of on my street. Anabel loved to fly over the fence to scratch and peck nearby; she never went far, and lately had favored a protected area beneath a maple tree right outside the fence. She seemed to enjoy it so much; I would eventually check on the girls, find her out and return her to the fenced yard.

I was inside and didn't witness the attack, but neighbors saw the dog running off with her and alerted me. From the feather pile, it appears he cornered and pounced on her as she was trying to get back into the yard; unfortunately, the fence blocked her return. My guess is that the dog saw the rest of the flock in the fenced side yard and discovered her out when he came down my driveway to see if he could get at them. Though I found her down the road a bit after getting everyone else in the coop (they were freaked, obviously) and she had no visible wounds, she was breathing very heavily and could not really get up. I gave her some electrolytes for shock, but I think she had internal injuries from being pounced on. She died a couple hours later.

If I had weighted her risk more accurately against her pleasure, I might have trimmed her flight feathers to keep her from flying out. Or, having decided to let her enjoy her little escapes, I should have checked on her more frequently to return her to the fenced yard. I did neither, and thus put her in harm's way. "You did your best," people say, but I really didn't. I had grown complacent about her safety and did not consider carefully enough that what did happen could happen.

How do you work with postmortem regret, the knowledge that something you did, or did not do, contributed to a hen's death? That something you could have, should have, have done differently might have prevented the loss? I've had this experience before, missing a sign of illness I thought after I should have spotted, not adequately weighing predator risk. (A bobcat jumped the fence about five years ago and made off with a hen; dusk was approaching, and if I had gotten them in a little earlier, they might have been safe.) It's so painful to lose an animal you love. To think you could have prevented the loss is of course that much harder.

I'd really appreciate hearing others' experience and would gladly accept whatever consolation you can offer. I know this is part of chicken-keeping, but I sometimes just feel like I can't face one more death. Thank you.

Please don't beat yourself up over what might have been what you could have done differently.

I'm a mother and a grandma. I did the best I could with my children, but they got hurt, sick, anyway. My daughter takes wonderful care of her children, but like me, I believe she's come to realize that we can't use bubble wrap on our children, nor our animals. We do what we can, and hope for the best.

 

[BigBlueHen53]

It's me again. Like Mrs K, I keep a flock. I usually keep them in their very large run until at least noon, sometimes about 2 pm, before letting them out to free range on our couple of acres, which are very secluded. But like you, I have this one hen, a free spirit (ironically named Blue, one of the few that are named) who jumps over the gate every morning and free ranges by herself all day. By snack time, about 4 pm, she is frantic to rejoin the flock. We don't have many predators so she's gotten away with it so far, but I do realize that she is at risk out there by herself. As many of the people posting have said, I think it's best to give her her freedom since she works so hard at it and enjoys it so much. (My Shelties do a good job of guarding the premises, so she's pretty safe.)

 

[cate1124]

Im so sorry about Annabelle. please accept my sincere sympathy. we want to protect them from everything, but we are not God. Annabelle enjoys the maple tree shade over the rainbow bridge

Thank you for your sweet thoughts. I like to imagine -- and maybe it's true -- that each of my hens who dies joins the many others who have gone before, that -- this being heaven -- there are no peck-order dust-ups, but just a sense of safety and belonging. I have quite a big flock on the other side after all these years. I can't help but hope I get to see them all again.

Again, thank you for taking time to respond.