Prayer for a Member - Lost her daughter Update Pg 16

Lori, I am so sorry for your loss and can't even begin to imagine your pain. You are in my thoughts. Hatching some sweet silkies and seeing new life with your daughter is such a wonderful idea. Your a great Mom.
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I have some really nice blue and black Silkies but they are not laying yet.
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I wish I had some Partridge, I would send you some eggs to hatch. Would you like any quail?
 
Thanks for the offer, Heather, but I can't do any quail right now. DH isn't real thrilled that we'll have silkies and d'uccles in the house for fall/winter.
 
Went to a Suicide Survivors group meeting last night with DH. It was hard for me to walk in there, and the first 5 minutes were even harder. But after that it went okay. They want us to come to at least 3 more meetings. I think we can do that.

It helped DH as much as I'd hoped it would. Another step-parent was there, and the things she said echoed how DH had been feeling. So he & I had some good communication after the meeting, too.

Mom is going to make Cassie a quilt from Kerry's old t-shirts, but we'd left the t-shirts in K's room. Mom couldn't bring herself to go in there to get them. So I went to get them for her last night. As I left K's room, I bumped into Cassie in the hall. Cass got a bit agitated until I explained what I was doing.
Then I told her to step in K's room for a minute and tell me what she thought. I didn't smell it this time, but Cass said it smelled like K had just straightened her hair! Then she said, "Kerry wasn't typical when she was alive, so I guess she isn't going to be typical now, either." Very true.
I said I needed to clean up her room a little, and Cass pushed me out the door and said not yet. So we left K's room alone for the night. And will leave it alone for a while longer. Until we're ready.

But at least we're taking baby steps towards accepting what's happened.

Now I have to find some buff/red/partridge silkies. Haven't seen any listed on the BYC Buy/Sell/Trade section, and haven't heard back from kentuckysilkies. He has such beautiful and uniquely colored birds. I'm really hoping his girls are laying and he has some available. They'd be a real treat for Cassie.
 
I'm so sorry for your loss. I know that words aren't always much comfort, and this is a VERY tough and sad time for you and your family, but I hope that you find peace soon. It will be hard to feel better after such a tragedy like this has happened, but please please take care of yourself and remember that things will get better soon. Pray to God and talk to him; he will hear you and you will find peace in him.
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Again, I'm so sorry about all this. It is very heart-breaking and sad, even for us BYCers(and some of us, like myself, don't even know you). But remember that we are here for you to talk to.
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I will be praying for you and your family. God bless and take care.
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I'm so glad you made it to the meeting. A dear friend of mine lost her son in a car crash a couple of years ago. I know it's not the same situation, but the parents' group she joined made a tremendous difference in helping her come to terms with Sam's death.

You and your family are still in my thoughts. Good luck on your Silkie hunt! Wish I could help you out.
 
Silkies may not be good enough. My poor baby wants us to adopt her a sibling. She doesn't want to be 'alone'. I bawled, later, but was calm when talking to her. It's simply too soon to consider such a major decision. But I totally understand what she's feeling.
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Quote:
I think of you and I pray for every single time I see or speak to my step son. 8/25/08 he tried to kill himself and very near succeeded. If it hadn't been for a house full of people he would be gone. He still has very little use of his right hand - he darned near took it off. He has had counseling and medication and is doing good now, in school, has goals. I still fear for him. As a step parent, I can ALMOST understand what you DH is going through. I love that kid with all my heart and I love his parent. I think that is what makes it sooo hard. I love Ken so and seeing him go through the "what didn't I do" stage just broke my heart. I still pray for all of you, Lori and I will for a long time to come.
 

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