Processing Day Support Group ~ HELP us through the Emotions PLEASE!

[fisherlady]

We had a beautiful hen lose a toe.  She was pecking at it & it looked very painful.  I really didn't think she'd recover since it was looking swollen, so I decided to call up a friend for help culling the bird.  We also had our 1st old hen who developed a shell gland issue.  (Eggs constantly breaking in the nest & encouraging the others to eat eggs.)  I had to trap her & force her eat treats with hidden calcium in them to get a normal egg.  Then of course they went brittle again.  It was time to cull her, but I was dragging my feet.  Since the other hen was in pain, I decided to do both at once.

My friend did most of the work & I assisted.  He suggested skinning to save time.  (We sent the kids to the park.  The kids knew the hens were being killed to end their suffering, but I just couldn't tell them that they were also going to be a meal.)  We got through the dirty work & cleaned up quickly.  The older one went into a marinade pot in the fridge & the other went into the freezer.  I marinaded for 24 hrs, then it took about 12 hrs in the slow cooker for the tough meat to become tender.  Is this normal?  Because it took so long, we had pizza instead & will reheat the chicken for dinner today.  We killed the chickens on Tues & had a chicken in the slow cooker on Wed, but they never questioned it.

As far as the emotions, I detached & just got through it.  Now I'm feeling more guilty.  I logically know that I took very good care of them & they lived good lives.  I know the end was quick & I'm simply not wasting what we have been given.  The emotions are still there.  I am in no way a vegetarian, but I just feel bad.  Hard to reconcile the conflicts.

Not unusual at all, you did what needed done but it doesn't negate the fact that you had cared for, and cared about, these birds since hatch....it isn't easy, but it is just a fact of animal raising....and you have done a great job in recognizing that their time had come and you needed to make the hard choices.

 

[Fire Ant Farm]

We had a beautiful hen lose a toe. She was pecking at it & it looked very painful. I really didn't think she'd recover since it was looking swollen, so I decided to call up a friend for help culling the bird. We also had our 1st old hen who developed a shell gland issue. (Eggs constantly breaking in the nest & encouraging the others to eat eggs.) I had to trap her & force her eat treats with hidden calcium in them to get a normal egg. Then of course they went brittle again. It was time to cull her, but I was dragging my feet. Since the other hen was in pain, I decided to do both at once.

My friend did most of the work & I assisted. He suggested skinning to save time. (We sent the kids to the park. The kids knew the hens were being killed to end their suffering, but I just couldn't tell them that they were also going to be a meal.) We got through the dirty work & cleaned up quickly. The older one went into a marinade pot in the fridge & the other went into the freezer. I marinaded for 24 hrs, then it took about 12 hrs in the slow cooker for the tough meat to become tender. Is this normal? Because it took so long, we had pizza instead & will reheat the chicken for dinner today. We killed the chickens on Tues & had a chicken in the slow cooker on Wed, but they never questioned it.

As far as the emotions, I detached & just got through it. Now I'm feeling more guilty. I logically know that I took very good care of them & they lived good lives. I know the end was quick & I'm simply not wasting what we have been given. The emotions are still there. I am in no way a vegetarian, but I just feel bad. Hard to reconcile the conflicts.

At only 24 hours rest, especially with a laying hen, yes, tough flesh is normal. Most folks will let a bird rest in the fridge longer than 24 hours (esp if it is not a very young bird). I've honestly had the best success resting at least 4-5 days in the fridge with older cockerels (whether brining or not). Resting longer helps.

I am working myself up to culling 9 beautiful pullets at POL who either have congenital ALV or were brooded from chick-hood with one who did (who just died - necropsy confirmed dx). I hate it.

- Ant Farm

 

[Faraday40]

1. Does it get easier in time? I was able to watch the kill & chop up after it looked like a grocery store bird.... but boy am I feeling sad about the loss.

2. Does anyone have any links with advice about how to cook freshly killed chicken? I knew it had "to rest" but no idea how long. (Suburban girl with no clue about these life skills.)

3. What about the bird I immediately threw into the freezer. I knew we couldn't eat 2 chickens right away & the kids would have gotten suspicious if I tried. I double- bagged the meat & figured I'd cook it sometime next week. She was only 1 yr. old & a huge hen. I certainly don't want to mess up the meal that beautiful hen gave her life for.

 

[eviemethugh]

If it was easy to take a life, something would be wrong with us. This is why even those who make a living of it are advised to only process every couple of weeks, experiencing death too often and becoming numb to it isn't good.
I think your kiddos could handle it better than you think they could. I mean, they don't need to see the blood show, but knowing where your food comes from is a healthy part of life. We let my two year old hang out near by (but he can leave and go inside or to the backyard if he wants, we have someone watch him) and he kind-of-sort-of understands "something" about it. But he asked this week if our two pigs would be chicken nuggets soon. HA, well we told him, even better! BACON! And he just went back to the sandbox. Hopefully we aren't scaring him for life!

For the bird in the freezer, just let it rest two days while it thaws. Since it is a year old, cooking low and slow is the best bet! Crock pot is always a winner. We have a wire rack that fits in the bottom of ours to keep it from being soggy on the bottom, but just putting it back side down will help.

 

[rebrascora]

As children, at Christmas, my sister and I helped pluck chickens at my Auntie's farm whilst our mother eviscerated and dressed them. The chickens were killed in a killing cone(which we did not witness) and then brought into the plucking area for us to work on, occasionally still flapping. We were fully aware of the whole process and accepted it with much less emotional turmoil than I now feel when I butcher my own chickens.

Until recently, I was the softest person I knew....picking worms up off the footpath and putting them in the grass out of harms way etc. I couldn't even cull a baby bird that was obviously fatally injured.
Since I got my chickens, I have amazed my family with the change in my outlook. I still find killing incredibly difficult and sometimes I cry, but I know that what I am doing in raising my own chickens and, when the time comes, killing them, is far better than the life and death that commercial chickens get and if I want to eat meat, then I have to be prepared to get my hands dirty. I hate to think that someone has a job that involves killing every single day and I don't want to be complicit in that, because like the previous poster, I think it desensitises you. Feeling bad means you care and how scary would the world be if we all didn't care. I also hate the idea of animals being herded into places of slaughter and think it should be done at home/on the farm on an individual basis although sadly in many cases, legislation doesn't allow for that.
I look back and mentally thank my late Mam and Dad (he was a gardener) for introducing me to the realities of food and I think it is an important lesson for all children to learn.

 

[ronott1]

As children, at Christmas, my sister and I helped pluck chickens at my Auntie's farm whilst our mother eviscerated and dressed them. The chickens were killed in a killing cone(which we did not witness) and then brought into the plucking area for us to work on, occasionally still flapping. We were fully aware of the whole process and accepted it with much less emotional turmoil than I now feel when I butcher my own chickens.

Until recently, I was the softest person I knew....picking worms up off the footpath and putting them in the grass out of harms way etc. I couldn't even cull a baby bird that was obviously fatally injured.
Since I got my chickens, I have amazed my family with the change in my outlook. I still find killing incredibly difficult and sometimes I cry, but I know that what I am doing in raising my own chickens and, when the time comes, killing them, is far better than the life and death that commercial chickens get and if I want to eat meat, then I have to be prepared to get my hands dirty. I hate to think that someone has a job that involves killing every single day and I don't want to be complicit in that, because like the previous poster, I think it desensitises you. Feeling bad means you care and how scary would the world be if we all didn't care. I also hate the idea of animals being herded into places of slaughter and think it should be done at home/on the farm on an individual basis although sadly in many cases, legislation doesn't allow for that.
I look back and mentally thank my late Mam and Dad (he was a gardener) for introducing me to the realities of food and I think it is an important lesson for all children to learn.

You have become connected to your food source. Most of us in modern times have no connection at all!

Good Job!

 

[Fire Ant Farm]

I culled the pullets today. It was hard and very emotional (as I tend to get more close to the pullets), more than with culling cockerels. One had a fully formed egg inside - she would have laid her first egg today, which really upset me for some reason. I was at peace for the reasons they needed to be culled (to avoid future painful death for them later and to protect the rest of the flock), but it was hard.




It was easier, though, that I had done it a number of times before, and I had a scalpel handle and had ordered good surgical #22 scalpel blades on line. Their deaths were as clean or cleaner than any I've culled before - I at least had that to offer. I skinned them all, so it went quickly (7 birds in 2 to 2.5 hours - I later had to catch the eighth who had escaped into the woods the night before). I had also bought a better pair of dissection scissors - I had learned that I prefer to use these for almost all parts of the process.

I watched @Beekissed video on skinning and cleaning again - such a good video. Thanks again to all for everything here that I learned in the past and now. It's hard, but at least today it was only hard emotionally - the technical part went smoothly along with their deaths. I've had a thoughtful day the rest of the day...

- Ant Farm

 

[rebrascora]

I too find it much more difficult to kill pullets/hens even when they are sick, which is odd and illogical. It seems like the cockerels are fair game (it certainly helps to galvanise me into action when they start harassing my girls) but I have empathy for the females.... they are my workers.... and I confess that my older girls get retirement rather than freezer camp. Is this sexist? I don't know!

I can certainly understand your emotional upheaval at having to process your young pullets. It seems such an awful waste of life but you have made the best of it my salvaging the meat from them and even an egg, although I can see how that would make you even more sad.

Anyway, well done for planning it well and completing the task swiftly and smoothly.
I find that I don't want to face eating the meat for a few weeks afterwards, until the emotions have diminished and I can enjoy it without that sense of guilt/discomfort.

 

[Fire Ant Farm]

I too find it much more difficult to kill pullets/hens even when they are sick, which is odd and illogical. It seems like the cockerels are fair game (it certainly helps to galvanise me into action when they start harassing my girls) but I have empathy for the females.... they are my workers.... and I confess that my older girls get retirement rather than freezer camp. Is this sexist? I don't know!

I can certainly understand your emotional upheaval at having to process your young pullets. It seems such an awful waste of life but you have made the best of it my salvaging the meat from them and even an egg, although I can see how that would make you even more sad.

Anyway, well done for planning it well and completing the task swiftly and smoothly.
I find that I don't want to face eating the meat for a few weeks afterwards, until the emotions have diminished and I can enjoy it without that sense of guilt/discomfort.

Thanks so much - yes, the cockerels cause so much trouble for themselves and others (if they're separated from the girls, then they still fight with each other), it's an easier decision. Indeed, I will have about 9 of them to cull soon. Pullets are much harder.

I did have chicken last night - it just turned out that way - but it was an "old" chicken I had found in the back the freezer - the last one that I had bought (from a farmer) before beginning to process my own birds. I'm making sure to clear out older stuff in the freezer. When processing, it makes you more mindful not to waste, because you are closer to the sacrifice that was made to put that food in your freezer, fridge, and plate.

- Ant Farm

 

[BullChick]

I know I am repeating what others have said in the last few posts, but that is okay. I will forgive myself.

Killing a layer is different because even if we plan on killing them "someday" when they stop laying, we do not expect to have to do it soon. We are simply not mentally prepared.
In the past, I have been around to help process my boys. I knew getting into chickens that I would have to accept it. Fisherlady took a few boys throughout the last few years when I was alone, and did not know how to clean the meat (I could break a neck and pluck). When a hen had to be put down, she was buried. My husband could not handle cleaning a "pet". A month ago, a hen broke her leg and was being pecked to death. Thankfully, someone was here that was able to process her for me. I was not "ready" for her to go, and only was able to help pluck a few feathers. It was very hard.
Now that I know how to do everything myself (I am still not a pro, but I can get it done!

) I am sure that the next time a hen needs put down, I am going to have to process her. She doesn't deserve to have her life wasted by becoming food for animals and creepy crawly things. I know it will stink having to do it. I know I will not be ready for her to die at my hands. But I will use the unpreparedness to my advantage. I will do it quick before I have time to think, and if it starts to bother me later, she can go in the freezer or to someone else.