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I surely understand the different life-paths. My own and my DH's have a bit of divergence in recent years, but we manage to work through any differences. Good for you, having the forbearance to let your DH just be himself, as you go through your own changes.
I just recently began killing my own meat. I've always plucked and processed, but now I take responsibility for the actual "deed" as well. Next will be hunting, as my path includes evolving into a huntress, at least for a time, maybe the rest of my life, we'll see!
I don't use commercial processors for two reasons, one being that it's a long drive for me, and I don't have enough cages or crates for a lot a birds at once. I'd have to haul all the birds to the processor, then hang around town until time to pick them up, it would still be an all day affair, plus I'd be paying somebody in order for me to be hung up all day. The other is the expense. At anywhere from $3 to $4.50 per bird, I just can't afford it. It already cost more than the store-bought birds to raise them. I can deal with that, because of the fact that I know I'm getting free-range meat, no chemicals, and I know they were humanely raised. But to add that much more expense, I just can't do it. If I kill them myself, I can do 3-4 a day, when my DH is at work, and not have to spend a whole day at any one time. If I hatch my own for meat, and raise only a dozen or so at a time, I can manage it without letting them get so old as to be tough. If I do let them go until they're tough, I cook them in the crock pot, or pressure can them.
Commercial processors use mechanical pluckers, so killing and plucking them yourself wouldn't really be a help to them. Besides, that's the hard part, and then the evisceration should only take a few minutes, so you'd be doing the hard part, then paying or trading for them to do the easier part to finish. In addition, once you get them plucked, you need to get those carcasses emptied out and cooled as soon as you can.
Maybe you could work alongside your neighbor, have him teach you, and share the meat with him?