Question of the Day - Saturday, July 12th, 2025

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jbj25 said:
You still don't get it. Without those things it really isn't love.
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You really think you can't love someone unless you agree with them on fundamentals and both want to have three kids?
I'd like to think the human heart has more capacity than to only sacrificially love those who we are in agreement with.
jbj25 said:
So, if you are in love with them, then, you have those other things.
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Tell that to most of the divorcees in my life. They really truly loved and sacrificed for someone who they were not compatible with.
jbj25 said:
Without them it is not love. Think about it. What is the love you have based on if you don't have those things?
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Based on unconditional love. There are no conditions for love, but there should be conditions for choosing to live together for the rest of your foreseeable future.
jbj25 said:
It would just be an attraction or infatuation or something along those lines and not love. There is a difference.
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Yes the difference being that if you did not find someone attractive (either mentally, physically, or whatever else floats your boat), or they did not meet your idealization anymore you would not be attracted or infatuated with them, but love does not say "oh you're not *fill in the blank* now I no longer love you" love is a far more forgiving feeling (even if it is fickle) which is why the woman who loves will stay with a narcissist, or the man who loves will stay with someone who does not want children with him even if it is his heart's desire.

So I will not marry just because I love someone and would die for them, I will marry because I love someone who is good for me.
 
notabitail said:
Uppercase "i" looks like a "L" in lowercase.

I promise you that I do not run that account and that someone I've never met in real life runs that account.
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Have you ever asked one of the moderators to change Notabitaii into something else, like Notabifake ?

Btw, I do believe in attraction at first sight but certainly not in love at first sight.
 
NotabitaiI said:
?!?!

Or he could just ask me rather than whining to someone else if it bothers him😂
I'll gladly jump through the hoops or just disappear completely if it's such a big deal.
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Also IDK if y'all just can't see pfps or something but I deliberately left mine blank because I didn't want to completely dupe everyone but apparently that's not enough🧐
 
jbj25 said:
It could be said that if you don't have those couple of things, as well as a few more, than it isn't love, but only infatuation. That is the part you two may not be getting with this love thing.

That doesn't mean that people that are truly in love don't end up growing apart for several different reasons, because it can, and does, happen.

And, so, by saying that, I will also say there is no such thing as love at first sight. Or, at least in the kind of love for people to form a marriage. That would be an attraction, an infatuation, or something along those lines that could very will grow into love. But, very well could not.

The only love at first sight would be with parents and their children. That love at first sight is real, I promise you that. It is similar to the love you could feel for your significate other, but not exactly the same.

Also, love at first sight could be with things. I mean you may love a plant for example upon seeing it, but you don't have to respect it. All it has to do is look pretty or smell good. But, not the same kind of love either.

There are different kinds of love that you will realize once you have experienced them.

Edit to add: When you feel in your heart that you will surely die for this person to protect them, to keep them safe, then you have truly experienced love for a person.
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I don't agree that one "loves" a plant. Or a car, or dress, or house etc. You may really like it, want it, but I believe it demeans the meaning of the word Love.

When I was teaching catechism, the children and I talked about love, real meaning of love. I asked them: Do you really love your friend's new bike? Do you really love your friend's new dress? Do you really love candy? Things along those lines, many material things. They, in the second grade, came up with they didn't love them but really really liked them. I asked who they really love. They said their parents, Jesus, grandparents and I think there was a guardian angel in there.

A project for the year was for us to fraternally correct each other, including me the teacher, when we used the word love instead of like and when we used the word hate. It was a good project, they did well and we all learned. I wanted them to learn/understand how special love truly is for us. (I did not go into marketing and how it manipulates but kept it simple.) I added Sacred Scripture texts, including parables, again trying to keep it simple yet profound.
 

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